#anyway. im back to the path to paradise
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doctorweebmd · 7 months ago
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HELLO
i have emerged from my baldurs gate 3 coma and a week on service to return in glory and bring you that good, good sskk porn
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akascow · 6 months ago
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Dead Boy Detectives and The Divine Comedy
Dante's Inferno (hell), Purgatorio (purgatory), and Paradiso (heaven/paradise)
its not a complete one-to-one but its a neat thing to think about in regards to dbd
it kinda makes sense because the levels of hell in the show are based off the depiction we see in Dantes Inferno, and the next in the trilogy of the divine is where they travel the mountain of purgatory
but anyway edwins file in the night nurses book said he either goes to Hell or PLV-4s
okay this is kind of a long one so strap in
Overall:
this is based on shotty memory bUT
in the trilogy you would be put to the respective layer you belong (hell, purgatory or heaven)
if youre a sinner, hell, but Dante goes through all layers going down, then to lucifer who blocks the path leading to purgatory.
youd then have to climb up the mountain of purgatory depending on your sins for like a number of eons until you cleanse yourself of the sins, once you make it past a layer youre free of it forever and one step closer to paradise
and only then are you able to get to paradise and i THINK the layer of paradise youre placed on is based on how good a person you are or smth
Purgatory:
someone pointed out it could mean Purgatory Level V (5) or just level, and the 4s could mean how long he should spend there (?) but layer 4 is also Sloth so theres that too (the souls being that theyre forced to run all the time which is lowkey what edwin goes through in hell)
which is the path you have to travel AFTER getting through hell you would normally go through up purgatory in order to get up to heaven once youve proven ur self worthy and ur sins righted iirc
so i think he would have to be placed somewhere in the middle (based on the level V if thats the right theory, theres 9 layers total) of that mountain based on his life and unfinished business and everything hes done while as a ghost he would have already been pushed up a few levels
so im assuming the night nurse's book was like glitching out because he was supposed to be in hell (on a technicality) but he served time there being passed around demon to demon, made it out of hell, but in the opposite way of purgatory
according to Dante's i believe he would have gone to purgatory IF he had unfinished business but he made it back to earth (the wrong way), and because of the things he did helping ghosts it technically counted towards his unfinished business so like he should be in hell because thats where he was placed last BUT everything hes done post-post-mortem wouldve counted towards purgatory and (maybe up to heaven ?)
Paradise:
on another theory, PLV could either mean paradise level Venus (the lovers) being the 3rd layer but the layer of heaven granted to those who in life were deficient in the temperance of love (smth smth edwins repressed feelings and never engaging in then smth smth)
the 4th layer is the Sun (the wise) -4s maybe?- which hold the souls of the wise, which kinda plays into edwin being the brains of the team so to speak, and he was seen reading in his mortal life before dying, as well as knowing a bunch of languages and probably a whole bunch more in his afterlife (in the comics they taught french at st hilarions so im assuming he knew that before he died)
the 5th layer is Mars (the warriors of faith)- maybe layer V?- i dont really believe this is the case bc this layer is given to those who gave up their life in the name of faith, but i would like to believe everything he went through in hell and also everything he gave up eternal virtue for to help the lost souls left on earth could grant him to be a warrior
heres a diagram to put into perspective
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but yeah theres a little divine comedy lesson for yall
idk take it all with a grain of salt because i learned about dantes inferno like last year and really only remember the hell part of it all. also dante thought that gay people were worse than murderers in hell so thats another issue. aND the sandman universe takes into account all faiths and religions and gods and mythology theres not actually a true one god. and the divine comedy is very much a catholic read so yeah
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yellow-sprouts · 2 years ago
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I want to write a story where the main charecter is one of those classic "Chosen one" archetypes. They were no one- shunned by their neighbors and abandoned by their people- then the former heros come along claiming that A is part of some grand prophecy.
They are taken to paradise - suddenly surrounded by friends and mentors - and for once in their life, they feel SEEN. But it also feels conditional - of course, they push those hesitations aside because they have a job to do in taking down BBG. They don't feel up to the task - who are they to take down BBG when they're some nobody who just so happens to be "gifted" by a God they don't believe in.
But what about when they finally meet BBG? Not in the middle of some battle - but heading back to their camp after the rest of their friends stay out partying - just saying they were tired and wanted to sleep. They run into BBG in the woods, which introduces themselves, and of course, A freaks out. But seeing BBG has no imminent incentive to hurt them, they hear them out.
The main villain wasn't born powerful. They were cunning, crafted, and forged an empire, They tell the hero this, their stories seeming all too similar.
"You're right, you know - you * aren't * some sort of secret weapon... you're just a kid. One who was targeted by these fallen heros and molded into what they wished themselves to be, you're smart, so im sure you've noticed it too.
How you always seem to be pushed towards what *they* want and expect of you
Do you really think that any of your so-called friends would even bother giving you the loose coins in their pouches if you weren't this divine chosen one? They don't care about you. They care about the person they imagine you to be, nothing more.
You're the sacrificial lamb to their agendas... be smarter than that - and don't be wasted down to some vessel they pump power into and discard once you've fulfilled your purpose"
"So that gives you three options- either you follow through with this and hope the friends you made in this short time, are as true as they present themselves to be, as if they'd pay you any mind if you were just **you** and not the chosen one
Or you could go home. You could throw in the towel and admit that this is more than you can handle - I assure you I wouldn't fault you for it- and neither should anyone else not ready to take the responsibility in your place
**Or**
You could join me.
All that power and training would be a waste to just go back to that miserable life you lived before, but with me? You will Forge your *own* destiny - not as some Chosen one - but as my right hand in the dawn of a new era"
The Villian was right - it wasn't a matter of the hero growing into what the "chosen one" was supposed to be. He could have easily been one of thousands, but here he had a chance to take fate by its reins and change the world for those thousands left behind.
"I don't expect you to choose right away - it's a lot I know - and you'd be seen as the new enemy to your friends. But you've been gifted. You have your past that shaped you, and you have the power and opportunity to demand change for the injustice these elites would rather sweep under the rug. It's easier to put one man's head on a pike than save millions from a system built against them from day one"
Anyway that's just a random dabble- but I'm very invested in the idea of the chosen one not just "getting over" their past. Knowing that fate could've just as easily picked someone else. They can either follow the "Heros" path their being nudged on, accept the new life at face value and maintain it with the condition that they prove useful enough in saving the world.
OR They can use the power they've gained and choose their own path, one far more uncertain but one that they have personal agenda in seeing played out. They've seen the suffering and know that killing BBG will just cause a rise to another.
AKA GIVE ME CUNNING HERO WHO REFUSES TO BE "BOUGHT IN" BY SUPERFICIAL FRIENDSHIPS AND LAVISH LIFESTYLES THAT HE WOULD HAVE BEEN DENIED HAD HE BEEN ANYONE ELSE.
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celestie0 · 4 months ago
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gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]
kickoff ch.11 i feel so high school
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ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader
ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.
ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem reader, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot, marijuana use, sexism, sexual harassment (verbal only)
ᰔ chapter. 11/x (probably 18)
ᰔ words. 11.1k
a/n. hi friends! omg this chapter took me forever to finish even though i had 90% of it done for sooooo long. i just had a lot of self doubt for it :'') i have said this before n i'll say it again my mind is a prison smhhh. ANYWAYS i had the song "so high school" off of taylor swift's ttpd album (sped up ver.) on BLAST while writing this chap so if you wanna experience what i experienced while i wrote this chapter i highly recommend listening to it too lol it's pretty much this chapter's anthem hahah. hope you enjoy and i'll see you at the bottom!! if there are typos or errors im sorry im just a girl
nav. masterlist
☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1 :: ♬.*゚playlist
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It’s a sunny Thursday afternoon, sun beating down on your skin from where you walk on sidewalk that's damp from sprinkler spray, although you’re not sure as to why, because the path leading to the host house is adorned with artificial turf all around that glitters with a wetness it didn’t need. The weather is getting hotter these days, and seemed to have flipped suddenly from gloomy overcast into full blown spring-time heat that has a thin layer of sweat sheening over your skin. Thank God for Mina, who convinced you to switch out of the jeans you were planning to wear in favor of something shorter and lighter, otherwise you would’ve been toasted. Although her true desire was for you to just “wear something cuter”, like the thin slip dress you’ve got on right now. 
The smell of barbeque smoke fills the air, and you see Mina in your periphery put a hand over her stomach.
“God, I’m so hungry,” she says as you two continue to walk up the sidewalk. Plastic pink flamingos line up on dirt, like arrowheads leading you towards suburban paradise. When there’s loud boombox music playing openly into the air, and sounds of people whoo!!-ing to pair, you know you’re close by. 
There’s a guy standing at the white picket fence entrance that leads into the backyard court, and he’s super familiar in the face. You recognize him as that guy you shared a couple shots of tequila with at that SAE party a while back, but his name fails to come to memory. He’s checking people’s phones and letting them in.
“Hey, Mina,” he greets her with familiarity, likely since Mina’s been to more SAE events than you have, given her and Todo are inseparable these days. His eyes flicker to you, widened and he greets you by name too, and now you feel awful that you don’t remember his. But he’s got one of those tacky corporate My name is… stickers plastered across his chest with the name Ryota scribbled across it, along with a drawing of a penis in a different colored marker, which you can only assume someone else drew on there and Ryota was simply Too Lazy To Care. 
He scans Mina’s phone first and then moves to scan yours, but not without letting out a huh noise and then you’re asking him what?
“Oh, nothing,” he says, “it’s just, in my four years of pledging for SAE I don’t think I’ve ever seen Satoru actually use one of his plus ones.”
You blink at him, feeling a twinge of heat in your cheeks. You’re dying to know more info about that, but he reaches over behind the fence gate to release the lock and then he opens it, gesturing for the two of you to head inside before he’s helping the people behind you.
The backyard is huge, it’s own concrete jungle with a tile-parameterized pool off to the left equipped with a jacuzzi in the corner, and only a couple of insane people choose to sit in that hot water while most of the rest are relaxing in the pool. Off to the right is the barbeque grill space, with SAE frat brothers distanced at stations as they yell things to one another like Hey, where’s the medium rare steak I asked for a half hour ago?!?!? and it’s fookin’ raw!!! like they’re on an episode of Hell’s Kitchen, but there’s a growing line of people standing eager with paper plates in their hands ready for lunch, so maybe the pressure was indeed on. 
Your eyes take in more as you step inside. There’s fake sandy gravel arranged near the pool over plastic tarps, which you’re assuming are stretched across for easy clean-up, and it doesn’t take you long to realize that this was a tropical-themed barbeque event. A makeshift bar is tucked over in the back at the outdoor kitchen counter, some beachside-mimicking establishment with seashells hanging and surfboards leaning as the guy shaking drinks has blackout shades on and is entirely too engrossed in his role. They’ve even got a little corner over where the concrete meets brick seating in a little closed off garden where there’s a projector screen set up and people are screaming, controllers in hand, while making enemies over a game of mario kart. 
You and Mina walk by two guys talking, a conversation that goes like—
frat bro 1: imma take your mom’s virginity bro
frat bro 2: she’s not a virgin bro. she gave birth to me 
frat bro 1: but bro. you don’t know that.
frat bro 2: …..you’re right bro…..i don’t….bro……..
–and then you hear Mina say “I’m already losing brain cells here.”
“Hey!!” you hear a familiar voice yell, your head turning in the direction of it, and you see Geto storming across the hot concrete towards the pool and he loses one of his flip flops in the process then steps barefoot on painful fake sandy gravel and he cusses under his breath before hopping over to the aqua-colored tile surrounding the water. “NO FOOD IN THE POOL!!! C’mon guys, how many times do I have to say it?!?!” 
You take a few cautious steps towards him because he looks like he’s on edge, well, literally, he’s balancing on the pool’s edge, but when he makes eye contact with you he looks pleasantly surprised. 
“Oh! Hey, y/n,” he approaches you, “and Mina. It’s nice you guys came.”
You give a little wave and Mina does too.
“I think Satoru’s somewhere out back getting supplies,” he tells you with a point over his shoulder and he deftly ducks his head under when he sees a pool ball flying his way in his periphery before it falls to your feet. You pick it up and throw it back to the outstretched arms in the water. 
“Oh, thanks,” you respond. “How’s it going? You look stressed.”
He sighs and you see he’s got a lot more hair falling over his forehead than what usually escapes his tight bun. “It’s going–...fine. Our social chair has been out this past week so I’ve been in charge of making sure things go smoothly today.” 
“Ohhh,” you and Mina acknowledge in unison.
You get some weird spidey sense, perhaps it’s your keen way of just knowing, or maybe you and him are cosmically connected by now, but you can just sense that Gojo’s near. You raise yourself a little on your tiptoes to peer past Geto’s shoulder, and sure enough, you see Gojo approaching with boxes of stuff in his arms. Geto becomes aware of your line of sight, and then he’s turning around to face him too.
“Hey,” he says, “why’re you carrying a box of condoms?”
“Huh?” Gojo says with a tilt of his head before he looks down at the stuff he's piled up, “oh, I dunno, Hide said he needed ‘em for something. But it’s Hide, so it’s definitely not for sex.”
There’s another man that lightly jogs up to Gojo, and you notice he’s got barbeque grease stains all over the front of his shirt and on his cheek too, as well as a cafeteria lunch lady hair net over his head. “Oh awesome, thanks man, needed these.” He takes the box of condoms from the top of the pile in Gojo’s arms, “we ran out of gloves.”
“Ohhh,” Geto says, with a few slow nods of understanding, before the realization flashes across his face, “........WAIT, WHAT?”
There’s some absurd conversation that breaks out between Hide and Geto, and then a loud thud startles you when Gojo drops everything he was carrying to approach you. You take in the entirety of his appearance– black shorts that hem at the rounds of his knees, a loose sleeveless shirt that shows off the flexed muscles of his arms a little too fucking much for your sanity’s sake, and he’s got his hair peaking out underneath a snapback he’s pulled on over his head. He looks so insanely fratty and douchey and the way he’s got his arms spread open as he gets into your space with that where my hug at? look on his face before he dips his head down to kiss you has you shoving him away by a palm pushing under his chin until now he’s just staring up at blue sky.
“Um, excuse you,” you say, “why are you greeting me like you’re my man.”
He groans and grabs your wrist to pull your hand away from his chin. “For fucks sake, let me be your man. We’re already dating in my head anyway.”
There’s another guy that approaches the group forming here, and he crouches down to open up the cardboard boxes Gojo abandoned on the floor. “Who the fuck was responsible for defrosting these hot dogs?! They’re solid as rock!!” 
Geto sighs, rubbing an exhausted hand across his face. “Oh, uh, Mina, y/n, this is Hide, and this is Sota,” he gestures to the two of them, “our other two housemates.”
The four of you exchange pleasantries and then Todo suddenly comes up behind Gojo, slinging his arm around him, before grabbing Mina’s hand from afar and placing a wet, sloppy kiss to the back of it. 
“My lady,” he says, retreating his arm from Gojo to fully step into Mina’s space, “shall we?”
She looks at you in courtesy, and you nod in approval, and then the two skip off together towards the pool. There’s shouting from the barbeque station and Hide and Sota make haste to get over there to put out a grill fire that their neglect was most likely the cause of.
“Um, where’s the restroom?” you ask, turning your head around to look. You just now notice there’s a pool house stretching across most of the courtyard with floor to ceiling sliding glass doors, past the arch that connects the main house to the garage. 
“You can try the one downstairs in the house,” Geto says, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb.
“Uh, I wouldn’t,” Gojo interjects, “unless you wanna be traumatized by the sight of a girl swallowing Choso whole while he’s seated on the toilet.”
Your nose curls up so high you can see it between your eyes. “No thanks,” you say.
Gojo grabs your hand, and he’s tugging you across the concrete. You’re still in sensory overload over all the stimuli around you, but your head is vaguely registering the fact that people are staring at you. Some with curiosity, others with studying eyes, some turned away, some turned towards, yet eyes still watching and you remember Ryota’s words from earlier about the history of Gojo’s never-used invites. The attention is a little nerve-wracking, but Gojo squeezes your hand twice as if he knows what you’re thinking right now, and the gesture puts you at ease. It’s been a week since the embarrassing and frightening intervention you had with Kai last week, and it’s sad to say, but Gojo and the other guys on the soccer team that helped you out that night are pretty much the only men you feel truly comfortable around right now. 
Gojo walks you to the pool house, and he points towards the inside to where the restroom is, and you thank him before hurrying in. You didn’t even need to pee, it’s just become some weird ritual for you to check in with yourself in front of a bathroom mirror at social events as you needlessly fix barely smudged mascara and smooth down the fabric of your clothing. 
Just have fun, is what you tell yourself in the mirror. There’s a sad sinking feeling underneath your rib cage when you realize you’re graduating in less than two months. Going to classes, doing assignments, having coffee dates with friends, organizing stuff for clubs, going to social events, just being an undergrad student who has all the fear in the world and no care for it, all the little things that have become a part of your life and have given you purpose, it’s all going to be gone soon, and you’ll have to fill the time and space with new things that give you purpose. Things that you want to carry with you into your adult life. Your actual adult life. Out in the “real world”, or whatever. And while the thought is scary, you also remind yourself that you’ve still got time left to just enjoy your college experience for what it is. You take some deep breaths, of which somehow make you a little more nervous than before, but it’s fine. You swallow the feeling. 
Gojo’s still standing outside the pool house where you left him, except he’s leaned back against the exterior and talking to a few of his frat brothers. 
“Hi,” you approach, sparing a small smile to the people he’s talking to just to be polite, but you’re not interested in any introduction. Your finger pokes Gojo’s elbow, and he leans himself off the wall, says some words of see ya around to the group and then he’s grabbing your hand again to lead you towards a different area of the backyard. The makeshift beachside bar.
He greets the guy behind the bartop with a solid grab of his hand and then he leans over the counter on one elbow, eyes on you. “Want something to drink?” he asks.
Your eyes squint to take in the writing scribbled across the blackboard hung up behind the counter. “Oh, no way,” you say when you realize the drinks are named after the players on the soccer team, albeit with cheeky twists on their names, all in anticipation of tomorrow’s win.
There’s a grin on Gojo’s face, “you should get mine.”
“What is yours?” you ask.
“Uh, I actually have no clue,” he confesses as he scratches his cheek and glances at the bartender, and now you’re both just waiting for an answer.
The guy pushes his blackout shades up his nose, and his skin is tan like he really did just come here from the beach. “Somethin’ like a blue lagoon, sweetheart. Blended,” he says, and you realize he’s most definitely too old to be a college student.
“Oh god,” you say, “is it gonna give me a brain freeze.”
The bartender gives you a nod to humor you but mixes it up for you anyway, then slides the drink across to you. It's chilly in your hand but it’s a welcome feeling under the heat of the sun. 
“Hey!! You guys,” Mina approaches with Todo tugged along by the hand, and her hair and clothes are soaking wet. “Can you count which one of us can hold our breath underwater the longest?? Please??”
You see Gojo reach behind the bar counter for a chilled long neck beer that he cracks open with the edge of the counter. “Sure,” he says, “You’d probably win, though. Better lung capacity. Todo’s been vaping since he learned how to spell. So, for, like, three years now.”
You can tell Todo’s already had a few drinks with the way he saunters over to Gojo, then slaps his back so harshly that it has him choking on the gulp of beer he just took.
“What the fuck–” Gojo sputters.
“Satoru here is going to be best man at our wedding someday, babe,” Todo slurs, “since he brought the two of us together.”
Gojo wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Yes, all me,” he affirms and you roll your eyes, “I’m like that one angel with the love arrows. I forget the name.”
“Anteros,” you joke.
“Yes, that.”
“N-No–...cupid. It’s cupid.”
“Oh?” 
“My lady,” Todo slurs as he approaches Mina, “shall we go for another swim?”
You watch as Todo doesn’t even give her time to respond before he’s throwing her back into the pool, and you flinch as droplets of water from the splash threaten to graze you. You turn back to the bar counter and sip your drink through your straw, then look at Gojo who’s just staring at you.
“What?” you ask once you take your lips off the straw.
“Nothing. It looks like they’re having fun,” he says, peering off into the pool.
You glance over your shoulder at the water, “that’s true. I’m gonna be honest, it’s an odd match, but surprisingly it works. Like beauty and the beast.”
“What would we be?” he asks.
“Lady and the tramp.”
“Okay. I would find that insulting…….but I actually really like that movie so it’s fine.”
“Mm,” you smile at him mid sip, already halfway done with your drink with the prospect of brain freeze on the horizon. 
He’s grabbing your hand again, and you realize this entire afternoon might just be him taking you wherever he wants you while you essentially turn your brain off. But those eyes are on you again, peering ones that are intrigued by the way Gojo doesn’t seem to want to leave your side all day, like he’s usually everywhere else all at once, and was until you showed up, and now you’ve got all his attention and apparently that was some anomaly. 
People seem to want to say hi to him wherever he goes, or catch up with him about something or the other for conversations they’ve seemingly put pins in, you’ve noticed most guys that had no shame in eyeing you when you first walked in are now too scared to even look at you now that you’re in his presence, and perhaps the most jarring observation of yours is how many girls are just shamelessly and borderline seductively staring at him despite the fact that he’s in your presence.
He stops suddenly to turn around and face you, and you almost crash right into him.
“Wanna go inside?” he asks as he holds a hand above his eyes for shade, “the sun’s kinda harsh out here.”
“Oh no,” you comment sarcastically, eyes flicking up to the snapback he was wearing, “if only you had something on your head that could block the sun.”
“Yeah,” he agrees, “if only.” And then he’s grabbing your hand again to lead you back to what you realize is the poolhouse. 
But then the two of you are stopped by a group of guys and girls, and suddenly, you realize that there are also a lot of eyes on you that are jealous. 
“Hey, do you guys wanna join us? We’re about to play power hour by the pool,” one of the guys says, gaze on Gojo before it drifts slowly to you in inclusion. 
There’s a girl standing next to him with her eyes flitting back and forth between you and Gojo before she gives you one look down your form, and then glances off towards the pool with disinterest. You blink at her, not proud of the assumptive what’s her problem? thought that flashes through your head but, seriously, what’s her fucking problem?
She’s twirling her hair and blinking up at Gojo before he finally responds to his frat brother with— “Oh, uh, nah. We’re good.” Like he wouldn’t trade two minutes alone with you on a couch tucked away inside the pool house with minimal decency for any amount of winning-at-public-drinking-game glory.
And that’s exactly where he leads you. A couch, tucked away inside the pool house, with minimal decency. He sets his bottle of beer down on the small table by the arm rest before he slumps down onto the couch, sunk in with hardly any give to the cushions, and he’s manspread to the moon as per usual as he pulls you to him with his hand holding your fingers until you’re standing in between his legs. Your knees bend to press into the sofa, and he lifts your hand into the air, holding it curled like you’re a lady in the mid eighteenth century and he’s about to kiss the back of your hand, except he’s just holding it that way to guide you into your seat. A more suitable action, at least. Modern and sleazy.
Your right knee is first to press into the cushion next to his thigh, and then your left knee follows until you’re hovered above him in a straddle. Then he settles you into the warmth of his lap with an urging hand on the small of your back, and you’re akin to the way he slides you up to above his groin once you’re sat. 
“You don’t want to get in the water?” he asks as his hand finds the bare skin of your thigh to caress while the other still lingers low on your back.
You can’t help but smooth your hands down his chest, and you swear he looks like he’s been made light headed by the action. “No. I didn’t know there was a pool here. Didn’t dress for the occasion.”
His eyes flick down to watch his own hand slide up your thigh until the fabric of your dress falls over his knuckles. You look down too, and maybe you’re vain for it but you’re a little obsessed with the way you look sitting in his lap. 
He seems to share the sentiment, considering he’s still hooked on the sight when he speaks. “The occasion of getting wet?”
“Mhm.”
Now he looks at you. “Weeeell sometimes you’ve gotta get a little wet to have a good time.”
“What are you getting at?” You place your hands on top of his shoulders and feel the rise of the blades when he shrugs. 
“Just some philosophy for ya. General wisdom. Tenets of life.”
“Ooo, big words there, did you learn them yesterday?”
“Don’t be sassy with me. It’ll get you into trouble.”
He brings his bottle of beer to his lips, loosely held in his hand with his head facing off to the side slightly so he can still maintain eye contact with you as he tips it back. Your eyes are immediately on his lips and fixated on the way his jaw is slack almost lazily, barely enough to let the amber liquid enter his mouth. 
His brow raises at how attentive you are to the sight, and he tips the bottle your way with a want some? look on his face, and in the beat too long that you take to answer, he’s already settled the cold glass rim on your bottom lip, a drop of bitter coating your tongue. Your chin tips up in silent permission for him to give you a decent swig of it, and the eye contact you give him as you take it is something sultry that makes him swallow hard, which you witness in the roll of the muscles of his neck. A droplet makes its way down your chin, and his thumb swipes it off for you, then he presses his thumb to your lips for you to lick.
Listen, he’s hot enough when you’re sober, but with drink in your veins, you’re worried you might fuck him hard enough not even your birth control could save you from what you’d coax from him. Alcohol is a hell of a drug, but so is his undivided attention.
“What are you thinking about?” you ask with a tremble in your voice when you feel his hands slide to hold your hips and his eyes look cloudy with something you can’t discern. 
“You. I’m thinking about you. Duh.”
“But what about me?” 
“Whatever the song just said.”
“I don’t even know this song.”
“You’d be a pretty bad stripper, then.”
Your skin feels seared inside out from how his eyes seem to undress you, and it doesn’t help that he’s way too hot blooded underneath you, running warm against your body’s attempts to keep its cool.
He slides you back a little, to where you’re not sitting right over his crotch anymore. 
You hold a tiny twist of your hair between your forefinger and your thumb to distract from his intense eye contact, in favor of inspecting for split ends. “Can I ask you something?” you say.
“Anything.”
“What was the bet?”
“Huh?” 
Your eyes flicker to his briefly, just for the duration that you speak. “You mentioned that the reason you messaged me those couple of months ago,” you start, “was because you lost some bet with Todo, and you had to help him get with Mina after that. What was the bet?”
“Just some stupid fantasy football thing,” he says. You tilt your head at him and briefly consider feigning interest in fantasy football, but you’re not that down bad. “I’m really glad though,” he continues, “since I got to meet you because of it.” Then he’s drinking from the bottle again. This time, you grab it from him once he’s done to consume some for yourself.
“What did you think of me when you first saw me?” you ask, the questions like an impulse you can’t control, and you swipe a drop of beer from your chin with the back of your hand.
He takes the bottle from your hand once you’re done swapping spit on it then sets it down on the table again, and there’s a moment of surprise on his face when he registers it’s a lot lighter than when you took it from him. And then his thumbs are back to rubbing those dizzying circles on your hips through the taut fabric of your dress, touch grazing up the curve of your waist when he feels like it. “Cute,” he says, first and foremost, “sorta wide-eyed and a little lost. Not the type to put casual sex on the table in the way that I thought you would.” 
“That’s a little insulting.”
His brow furrows for a moment before he sighs. “Your head’s a very pretty yet very strange thing.”
“Do I not seem promiscuous?” you ask, not even sure why you’re offended by it, “I can be–” you catch the slurring of your words, “I can be chill, and the type to have casual sex. No strings attached girl. I could be that if I wanted to.” 
“Maybe,” he says, a slight tilt to his head as he looks at you with something you’d describe as adoration, “but not for me.” And then suddenly his features turn sharp again. “Oh, and not for any other guy, either.”
You roll your eyes at his latter statement and ignore it. “But wasn’t that what you wanted from the beginning,” you say with a hic and a finger lightly grazing down his chest which he tucks his chin to watch, and you clarify when you realize you’ve lost him, “Casual.”
He senses you’re playing a game now, of cat and mouse, or just-tell-me-what-I-wanna-hear-already.
“At the beginning, sure. But not so much anymore.” And he ends it there.
You raise an eyebrow. 
He sighs. “I need you to know that I’m not great with words.”
“Neither am I,” you say, just to feel similar to him somehow.
“I disagree,” he states, like he sees right through it, and he leans away from you to lay back, hands leaving your hips to set his elbows up on the couch, open for proper conversation all of a sudden. “You’re good with words.”
You pinch the fabric of his shirt in a fidget, and raise an eyebrow at him in question.
“I don’t know,” he tries to elaborate, “you just know what you want and you ask for it. I don’t always know what I want from people, so I hardly ask for much.”
You release your grip of his shirt. He sulks about it. “I can recall you asking me to call you daddy once. Weirdo.”
“Wow. I open up to you and then you kink shame me.”
You giggle a little, because he’s funny sometimes, and he’s showing you his appreciation for the sound of your laughter in the air by giving you a playful pinch to the plush of your thigh. 
“Sorry,” you drawl, “it was on my mind. Because of–” you point to the ceiling, “because of what the song just said.”
He laughs. “You’re not into it though? The– uh, you know what I mean.” Evading the word like he’s preserving propriety for now.
“I don’t hate it for other people…not really trying to yuck anyone’s yum here, but my, um, my real dad’s not around anymore so it’s just a little,” you pause, feeling awkward, “weird for me I think.”
“Oh,” his brow furrows, like he’s glad he preserved that propriety from earlier, “my bad. If it’s any consolation, I was half joking.”
“Half is good enough for me,” you tell him, in a voice a little higher pitched than your usual, and you hold his face still by the jaw before leaning forward on foreign instinct to kiss him but you stop yourself right before you do. Eyes on your lips now, he leans forward to seal what you teased but you’re only stopping him as well by the heel of your hand pressed to his sternum.
He remains close though, gaze still fixated on the light tuck of your bottom lip under your front teeth, and when his eyes flicker up to yours again, they’re wild and dark.
“I like this weird thing we’re doing,” he exhales, sorta husky, “where you won’t let me kiss you. It’s hot.”
“Ok,” you say, with a small shrug as you push him away until he’s leaned all the way back onto the couch again, “I’ll keep it up forever then.”
He can’t help the groan that leaves him as he tips his head back in agony. “I’d die. I’d literally fucking die.”
You roll your eyes at the drama. “Isn’t this nice though? No kissing means more talking.”
“Yes, because talking is exactly what I wanna be doing with you while you’re sitting in my lap.”
Your shoulders drop in a bit of a sulk, and his eyes soften at the sight.
“I do,” he starts as he leans forward before pressing his lips to the corner of your mouth, dangerously close to breaking rules, but he needed to kiss your pout away somehow, “really love talking to you, though.”
You can’t think of anything clever to retort with, so you wear your heart on your sleeve. “You’re just saying that.”
“I’m pretty sure I could recite everything you’ve ever said to me off the top of my head, and that’s given the fact I’ve got the memory of a goldfish on any good day, so,” he says as he tucks strands of your hair behind your ear. It’s a messy tuck, one you have to fix yourself anyway, and when your fingers brush against his from the redundant movement, he holds your hand, “but yeah, sure, I’m just saying it.”
He pulls your hand from where it’s near your ear, and interlocks his fingers with yours in that intimate way that makes your heart skip a beat. There’s the texture of his callouses against the back of your hand, rough on his fingertips yet soothing over your skin, and it reminds you of when he held your hand in that hotel room. From the look in his eyes, you can tell he’s thinking of it too.
The memory is intense, and it has you shifting your weight a little in his lap, until you accidentally rub your panties right over his crotch and a soft gasp leaves your lips when you realize that he’s hard underneath you. 
The motion gets a groan out of him as he tilts his head back and his hands grip tight on your hips to keep you there.
“Hey. No. I didn’t mean to do that. Don’t get aroused,” you squeak out. The ribbed expanse of his neck as he’s leaned back makes you want to kiss him at the taut skin, right near the vein that’s tense down from behind his ear to his collarbone.
He tips his head back down to level his gaze with yours. “It’s way too late for that.”
You struggle a little against his grip, and the sensation of his erection held snug against your clothed heat sends a pleasureful ache to your lower tummy. “Y-You’re just gonna suffer, then.”
“Yes. Which is a pattern with you. But I kinda like it.”
“Mm. Your head’s a very strange thing.”
“My head? Baby, my head hasn’t done any of the thinking since I saw you in this dress.”
You feel like you’re on fire. “You’re such a whore today.”
“Can’t a dude just chill on a couch with the girl he likes. Jesus.”
You know he's said it already, so it's no secret, but him calling you the girl he likes makes your head spin hazy in a way you wish it wouldn't. Because half of your heart is telling you it's the bare minimum you'd want, while the other half is telling you it's all you'll ever need to hear from him for the rest of your life. 
He’s bouncing one of his legs up and down in relief of some of the self restraint he’s exercising right now, and it’s making you sway a little in his lap while he admires you.
“You’re so pretty,” he sighs with a shake of his head, like it’s torture for him in the best way possible, and then his nose nuzzles under your jaw, right where you sprayed your perfume. You shiver when he presses a kiss there. “Pretty girl.” 
You lightly push his shoulder with the heel of your palm so that he pulls away to look at you, and a few shy flutters of your eyes tell him people might see us, to which his eyes say don’t care as he tilts his hips up towards yours. 
Most guys would match the tempo of the music with a slow grind like this, but of course he makes his own. One he settles you into with guiding hands on your hips, the way he wants it. One that makes your hand shoot out to grip his shoulder for purchase when your hips start to move on their own from the feeling of him hard and hot and excited underneath you, until he's got you unsure of whose idea this was in the first place. 
“Fuck,” he exhales with a slack jaw, all air and no tone, when you rock your hips forward and he leans back on the couch as he starts to grind up against you as well, firm and flush, and you’re satisfied by the loss of his composure. 
You’re sure you’re nothing but sopping, unadulterated wet between your legs, and if the fabric over his crotch was any shade of black lighter, he’d be able to see the mess you’re making on him. It’s a shame. Or maybe you’re glad he’s unaware. Unless—
“I can feel how wet you are,” he tells you, sounding like he’s out of breath from the sensation alone as his finger hooks the hem of your dress up just enough to eye the sight of where you’re sat on him, “if you’re gonna play hard to get, you’ve gotta learn to control your arousal a bit better than this.”
“Oh,” you squeak out, his words having the opposite effect, and you squirm when you say, “y–...you’re one to talk.”
“I’m not trying to hide how much I want you right now,” he says, and he proves it by holding your clothed arousal flush against his heavy erection to where you can feel it twitch with need underneath layers of impossibly taut fabric, and he caves into a harsh jut of his hips upwards, bumping against your clit and when you gasp then lean into his chest with your chin tipping up to the ceiling, he kisses your neck where your hair is stuck to the sweat at your nape. 
It's true, if actions could speak, his say I wanna fuck you senseless right now. And the way you can practically feel his cock ache as he’s rolling his hips up into you tells you he's about two seconds of resolve away from fucking you senseless right now. But he also knows that it's a game, and for a moment you forgot how good he is at winning those things.
You halt movement for a second, and his fingers press into the plush of your ass to get you to keep going with it, but you don’t. “What are we doing. Dry humping on a couch like we're high schoolers.”
He makes a point to teasingly poke you under your ribcage, and you flinch then swat his hand away. "Just seeing how far you'll let me take you without letting me kiss you."
"What if all the way?"
"All the way without getting to kiss you? I couldn't even imagine that." He pauses in thought. "No, wait, yes I can." He pauses in thought again. "Holy fuck, can we?"
"Do yourself a favor and stop thinking."
He purses his lips in a pout, his leg that’s been bouncing up and down picking up in vigor, and you’re not sure if it’s because he’s genuinely starting to lose his sanity, or if it’s because he wants to see your tits jiggle with the motion, but maybe the latter since he dips his head down to kiss right above the neckline of your dress, where the softness of your breast starts. It’s a light kiss, more of a brush of his lips, and he breathes in the scent of your skin like it’s a drug. “How do you always smell so nice?” he mumbles against you, “drives me insane.”
His palm smooths up the side of your waist before he tucks his thumb under your breast while his other fingers wrap your ribcage, and his teeth catch the lace of your dress to tug down, revealing more of your soft sweat slicked skin and his gaze flicks up to meet yours in teasing eye contact.
God, just one touch between your thighs would reveal how flush your panties are stuck to your pussy by the embarrassing amount of arousal, entirely disproportionate to the minimal amount of obscenity it took from him to get you there. And the lewd sight of him tugging at the neckline of your dress with his canines makes you wonder if his teeth would be enough to peel the soaked and skin-flush cloth of your panties off of you, or if his hands would have to get involved. 
Like he reads your mind, his other hand comes between your thighs and he brushes two of his fingers over your clothed clit, light pressure placed like he’s just playing with you, yet it’s somehow enough to where your hand shoots out to grab his forearm with nails digging into his skin.
His teeth release the lace of your neckline when you writhe in his hold and he moves his lips to your ear. “Too much?” he murmurs.
“Mm,” you hum, hard to think when he’s drawing circles over you now and you can feel the wetness dripping out of you. His middle finger slides to the place where it soaks your panties, prodding slightly, the only thing keeping him from fingering you right now being the flimsy cotton fabric.
There’s a brief silence around you as music abruptly stops, lasting for maybe three seconds before it resumes, like someone was fumbling to change the song out in the courtyard, and it’s barely sobering enough for you to remember that the two of you are still in potential eyesights of other people and your cheeks flush as you pull his hand out from between your thighs. 
"Are—” you gasp a little, “are you excited for tomorrow?" you ask in an aim to distract as you guide his hand back to your waist.
"Huh?" he huffs, tearing his eyes away from your cleavage to look at your face, his features twisting into confusion and some sort of frustration too. Sexual, most likely. His leg is bouncing again.
You blink at him, alcohol from earlier starting to get to your head. "The big game tomorrow?"
"Oh, yeah, very," he mindlessly kisses your cheek, "excited."
"You know," you start, arms sliding past his shoulders and loosely locking behind his neck so you can lean off to the side in a dizziness that he keeps you from falling from by both hands holding onto your waist, “I used to–" you can't even finish your sentence without preemptively giggling because you can already imagine how he'll react, "I used to play soccer when I was younger. When I was a young one. In my youth.”
He scoffs in disbelief, and he’s poking his tongue to the inside of his cheek with some boyish interest in his eyes and you can tell he thinks you’re just fucking with him. “Yeaahhh right.”
You, and the alcohol, tell him, “No really, I did!!”
You think you’ve lost balance when you fall more to the side than you intended, but then you realize he’s just shifting you to lay on your back and now he’s hovering over you on the couch. His toned arms frame the sight you’re looking up at as you blink slowly to admire his face, and then your wrists that are still crossed behind his neck are tugging down because you need him a little closer. 
He comes down onto one elbow, sunk into the cushion for leverage, and his other forearm slides under your waist. The fabric of your dress has fallen to your hips to expose the skin of your thigh as you press it against the side of his hip.
“Alright. What position did you play then?”
Fuck. In fairness, you would’ve remembered all things better if the ethanol wasn’t metabolizing in your veins.
“I was,” you look past him to the ceiling briefly, “the…fielder.”
“The fielder?”
“Something like that.”
“Uh, like a midfielder?”
“No, no, not mid,” you pout with a shake of your head, “above average.” 
He snorts. “I don’t think you’ve played a single day in your life.”
“I did,” it comes off as a bit of a whine, because you’re frustrated he doesn’t believe you, “I remember once in a middle school match I was playing defense and this girl elbowed me in the boob and I called her a bitch and the referee told me I couldn’t play for the rest of the game. So I called him a bitch too.”
His grin is wide like he’s proud of you for it. “Atta girllll,” he drawls, a curl to his tongue to fight the slur of his own words, and he lifts your butt up with one cupped hand underneath it until your hips are pressed against his again, and you loosely wrap your legs around him, too enveloped with delirium to care about anything else anymore. He resists the urge of rutting his hips into yours for the better part of half a second. You stifle your moan with a purse of your lips.
“I’m. A little bit.” You say between a hiccup.
“A little bit what?”
“Little bit tipsy.”
“From what? The beer?”
Another hic. “I think so.”
“You’re so cute it’s honestly killing me.”
You bring your hands up to hold his face, one thumb caressing his cheek, and he lowers his head down to rest his forehead against yours, then you’re both looking into each other's eyes for what feels like forever. Your pinky can feel his pulse thrumming fast under his jaw, his eyes so soft and sweet and serene you didn’t even know it was possible for anyone to look at you with that much adoration. Like you’re the only thing that matters. 
Your head tilts up, a few flutters of your lashes as you lick your lips and succeed in drawing his gaze to them when he realizes you’re finally giving him the permission. You tuck your bottom lip under your front teeth, suddenly shy in anticipation, and his thumb pulls it out from under and presses into the softness of it, and both of your chests are rising in slow rhythm with one another when he finally dips his head down to–
“Yo! Satoru,” a loud voice calls out in interruption from the glass sliding doors of the pool house. You turn your head towards the source and feel Gojo’s hand possessively pull the fabric of your dress up your thigh to preserve your modesty. You see one of his frat brothers standing in the frame holding up a pair of metal tongs, clacking them in the air to get his attention. “It’s your turn to grill, man.”
You turn your head from his frat brother back to Gojo and watch as he blinks blankly off into the distance, the two of you clearly pulled out of the feverish trance you were just relishing in, and then you see Gojo wave a dismissive hand in the air as if to say yeah, yeah, okay, gimme a sec which is somehow convincing enough to get his frat brother to head back to the barbecue stand. 
Gojo snakes his arm around your waist and lifts you up with him, sitting and sinking back into the cushion of the couch and you wobble a little from the dizziness of suddenly being upright as he pulls you into his lap again. His eyes are darting across the features of your face while he has a small tug of a pout to his lips. 
“Okay. Well. It seems I have to feed the masses, so.”
“So?” you prod him to finish.
“I’ve gotta go.”
“Then go.”
“I will,” he says. 
You try your best to hide the sulk that weighs on your shoulders, because you don’t want him to go, and when you study his face, you notice his expression relaxes a little and the corner of his mouth twitches upwards slightly into some sort of smirk. Like he’s caught on that you’re still on the edge of what could’ve been a kiss, and he’s satisfied that you’re the one craving it now. 
You dislike the loss of power over him, and you roll your hips once over his crotch to find that he’s still hard underneath you and he sucks a harsh breath through his teeth before a low growl leaves his lips, and then he’s softly glaring at you. 
“Maybe meditate,” you say to him, “for the boner to go away.”
He snorts, and you blush when you realize it’s because you made it sound more like an infomercial rather than something sexy and minxy and alluring like you were going for, but he still kisses your cheek regardless before he slides you off of him. And you realize you almost like these chaste kisses more than anything else. “It’s fine,” he says, “like I said, I’ve gotten used to it with you.”
His words make you briefly wonder how many boners you’ve given him, and then you realize you’d really rather not know. Although it would probably be strangely endearing to know. But still. For some reason. You’d really rather not know. Or maybe you would?…Now you feel like you’re the one that needs to meditate. 
He gets up off the couch with an exhale of a grunt leaving him, the couch adjusting so harshly to his lack of body weight that the springs bounce you up and down once or twice from the motion, and you’re sitting on your heels from where you look up at him, seemingly still as a statue like you’re not going anywhere. 
He raises an eyebrow at you. “Come get some food, yeah?”
“Mhm. In a sec.”
He hesitates for a second like he wants to ask a question, or maybe multiple, but he just lightly shrugs, gaze lingering on you for a short second before he turns on his heel to head out of the pool house and out towards the barbecue station. The second he’s far away enough for you, you let out the almost crestfallen sigh you were holding in before plopping down onto your back onto the cushions.
And here you were, laying on a couch staring up at the pool house ceiling, occupying yourself with the study of a dusty cobweb across the wooden pillar high into the structure, so you don't have to think about the way you've been left high and dry. Why do people say high and dry? If anything, you’re high and soaked. Well, you suppose for men it’d be high and dry. But the phrase should be bisexual at the very least. Er– unisex? …gender inclusive?
You realize you’re still a little tipsy. 
Gojo's words from earlier linger, "Weeeell sometimes you’ve gotta get a little wet to have a good time." Okay, well, you would’ve chosen pool wet instead of left-here-an-aroused-mess wet if you had any clue what your options were beforehand. 
Your head lifts up off the cushions until you're seated straight, tilting your head side to side as you peer off into the courtyard, still a little dizzy from the buzz, and you grab Gojo's now flat abandoned beer to finish the rest of it off in one fell swoop before you stand up and head towards the courtyard.
You stop in the broad door frame of sliding glass doors of the pool house, arms crossing as you take in the sight of people all around you. Holding their breath underwater, sprawled on lawn chairs while eating hot dogs, oaky smoke slightly fogging and burning the clarity of your vision as your eyes settle over at the barbeque station. Plastic tablecloths cling to white fold-out tables with custom print for SAE and UTOKYO's D1 SOCCER publicity arranged in amateur graphic design fashion, and you see Gojo standing at the grill flipping the meat he was making work to cook. There's a line developing, and you realize it's lunch time. Hide's taking special orders at the line, chatting up some girls who you're pretty sure you've seen in sorority Instagram pages, and you watch as Hide throws a pointing thumb behind him towards Gojo, and then a trio of those girls split from the line to make their way over to him at the grill.
You squint your eyes to focus your vision, and you realize one of the girls is the one from earlier that was looking you up and down and sideways before batting her eyelashes at Gojo when you were standing right next to him.
The trio exchange a brief word to one another before that girl taps on Gojo's shoulder. Whatever conversation he was having with one of his frat brothers is interrupted when he turns to look at her. You see that signature clueless "huh?" look on his face, and she's pointing at the grill. Oh, special instructions, you can practically hear the thought that flashes through his head, but you feel uneasy. When there's music this loud, and you want a guy to lean in closer to you, then you talk real quiet, right? It’s a trick as old as time. And that's exactly what happens in front of you, when he leans down because he can't hear her purposefully hushed words, and then the girl wastes no time in wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him down towards her and—
Your heart drops to the ground at the same time your mouth falls open when you see her kiss him, glossy lips sickeningly sweetly pressed against his mouth, and the pure hurt that spreads through you is fully sobering to say the least.
Shock is the only expression you can see on his face from here, and he's quick to pull away, but god, it was still tough as hell to witness. His lips read "what the fuck?" as he confronts the action, before his gaze immediately darts towards the poolhouse and he makes eye contact with you, panicked worry written all over his face, and you roll your eyes before storming off across the courtyard towards the main house. There are eyes on you paired with hushed whispers of gossip but you just can’t bring yourself to care with the way your stomach feels like it’s been flipped upside down like you’re about to straight up puke right now, and you barely register bumping your shoulder into Geto and Nanami before they call out your name behind you with a few words of concern, and then you hear Gojo’s voice calling out to you too, but you continue to hurriedly push on until you disappear into the main house, around the corner, down a slim hallway, and barely make it into a tiny little walk-in coat closet when you feel a warm hand wrap around your wrist. 
"Hey– y/n, wait—" you hear Gojo desperately stutter behind you, stopping you. You turn on your heel to face him, and you see he’s breathing heavy, brows tightly furrowed, mouth slightly open from the way he was raggedly exhaling in the clear sheer panic rushing through his veins only proven by the guilty look on his face, but there's only the image of another girl's lips on his still present in your memory. It's not the first time you've seen him kiss someone else, but after all this time and everything that’s happened since then, this felt so much worse. If there was one thing about jealousy, it's that it’s enough to make all feelings you have for someone surface in a way that's so overbearingly powerful, so insanely potent and borderline physically debilitating that it makes you feel sick to the stomach, and that's why there's a prick of tears in your eyes when you make eye contact with him. It's a primal, possessive thing ringing in your head when you look at him that just screams mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. You can be pissed off all you want later, but right now you need to get the sensation of another woman’s lips off of him.
Your fists ball the fabric of his shirt, and you pull him to you so hard the momentum has your back slamming into the surface behind you and you kiss him, hard, it's messy, honestly you could've chipped a tooth if he hadn’t braced his hands on the wall behind you before his lips crash onto yours, and his surprise only lasts a hesitant second before he's hungrily kissing you back.
There's just the sound of the two of you exhaling together in feverish unison with the kiss as his hands are quick to cup under your ass and he lifts you up, pressing your clothed heat flush to the front of his groin as his hips pin yours to the wall. Your arms wrap around his neck, skin tickled by the short hair at his undercut, and the moan that escapes you when you wrap your legs around him and feel his bulge pressed against the thin cotton of your panties is muffled by him in harmony with his groan, pure expressions of all the pent-up arousal felt in the way he kisses you like he’s worried it’s the last chance he’ll ever get. 
His teeth nip at your bottom lip, and you gasp before he deepens the kiss, but the prickle of tears in the corners of your eyes when you shut them tight makes you pull away from the kiss completely.
You’re both panting heavily, looking at each other in close proximity under the dark lighting of the closet. You wrap your arms around his neck a little tighter, and you’re not sure if you want his lips on you again or if you don’t want to see him for an entire week. His eyes are dark, low, and set on your lips, which you’re sure are puffed and glossy and look like nothing but pure sex to him right now, and he leans in to kiss you again but you turn your face away from him at the last second and his lips make contact with your cheek instead. He’s confused for a moment, kiss limp as he looks at the side of your face in his periphery before pulling away slightly, and the second kiss he places on your cheek is softer, intentional, an apology, a sorry, a guilt-ridden affection like he knows you’re hurt and it’s killing him. You feel the plush of your cheek squish up to your cheekbone from the gesture, and the feeling has you blinking away tears for some reason. 
“Let-...” you say, catching your breath and tucking your chin under when his lips graze your temple, then your hand pushes him away weakly by his shoulder. “Satoru, let me down.”
An expression of hurt flashes across his face before his palms hesitantly slide down the underside of your thighs until you’re gently eased back onto your feet and you tuck your disheveled hair behind your ears, to gain poise, before you blink a few times then look up at him with so much uncertainty. 
“I don’t know–” he starts, already sounding flustered with panic, “what the fuck happened back there, I don’t even know who that was. I wasn’t trying to– I didn’t– it wasn’t— “
You could finish his sentences for him in your head, but you just watch him trip over his own words. You suppose the fact he was so desperate to vindicate himself to you right now was the only thing keeping you sane from the realization of a truth you’ve been evading this whole time, which was that if you were to date Gojo, you’d constantly be competing for the right to be by his side. Luckily enough, the two of you were graduating soon from all the fraternity & sorority space, but even then, you realize that no matter where he goes, he will always have pretty women that look at him, and want him, and want to be with him, without any regard for anything besides the pure desire to have him, whether he’s taken or not. He’s going to be a pro soccer player someday, with millions of fans, and although he’s never done anything to make you doubt he’d be loyal to you, there’s just no way you could escape the sinking feeling in your chest that tells you you’ll never be the best thing. There will always be a better best thing, and you’ll only have his attention for so long before he finds it. 
“I’m,” you choke out, feeling rawness in your throat that makes it difficult to speak, “I’m not feeling well, I’m just gonna go—”
He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you to him, harsh, your head thwacking against his chest as he wraps his arms around you and you can physically feel your heart ache at the familiarity of his scent surrounding you. 
“I’m sorry. I…I won’t let that happen again. I’ll never talk to another girl ever again. I won’t look at another girl again. Hell, I won’t even exist around other girls ever again, uh, I’ll wear an invisible cloak, a hazmat suit, change my identity, move to a different country, in fact, I don’t even know what other girls are, no clue, seriously. I just—fuck, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say right now, I’m just— I’m just so sorry.”
You purse your lips together, unsure of how you went from being on the verge of tears two seconds ago to trying to stifle laughter from how stupid he sounds, but you wrap your arms around his waist as he continues to spew utter nonsense as he commits to an almost maniacal and impossible level of fidelity to you. Here he was, manwhore of the school, tripping over his words to confess undying loyalty to you like you’re domesticating some wild beast no one’s ever dreamed of conquering from natural habitat. 
“I just want—” you hear him rambling, the rumbling of his words felt on your cheek as you press it against his chest. He wraps his arms around you tighter, and you feel him press a kiss to the top of your head. “I just want you.”
Your heart skips a beat in your chest, and you feel a single tear drip from your eyelashes and soak through the cotton of his shirt, tiny enough to where he doesn’t notice, and you shove your face further into his chest so it stays that way. You wonder if one day you’ll be able to truly believe his words. And you curse yourself for not being brave enough to. 
You two stand in an embrace for a solid ten seconds before the knot in your throat is loose enough to speak. 
“It’s not your fault,” you muffle into his chest, “she kissed you out of nowhere. The bitch.”
You feel him stiffen a little in surprise over your profanity. “Damn. Didn’t believe you when you said you called that girl who elbowed you in the boob at a soccer game a bitch when you were younger, but I kinda believe you now.”
“It’s my favorite cuss word.”
“I can see that. You’re free to call me a bitch any time, by the way.”
You roll your eyes. “You’re stupid.”
He tucks your head under his chin in a nuzzle, and you count every beat of his heart. “Are you mad at me?”
You give serious thought to his question. “Mm. No. I’m mad at the girl who kissed you.”
When he only hums above you, you pull your head away and look up at him.
“Seriously. It’s not right. And you’re allowed to be angry about it too,” you say.
He raises an eyebrow at you and tilts his head.
“She’s a random person who kissed you out of nowhere, like you’re just some piece of meat to toy with. It’s wrong. You’re a human being, not an object to lust over.”
His eyes widen slightly, and your heart sinks a little when you see he’s confused and trying to genuinely process your words, like it’s something no one’s ever told him before. Like it’s happened in the past too, and he was never taught to believe that it was wrong, just because he’s attractive and popular, like that somehow meant he’s just supposed to take all the glory with no complaint or preservation of his own person. 
You shift on your feet a little, releasing your hold of him and he releases his embrace of you as well, and from the way he’s darting his eyes across your face and the wall behind you and occasionally towards the ceiling, like you’ve just put some epiphany in his head that’s being processed in the brain behind his rapid blinking, you realize he probably needs a second to process what you’ve just said. You move past him but not without a comforting squeeze of his bicep in the process. There's a sound that leaves his throat, something undecipherable, like he was just filling the air with some response that’s now lost, but for the most part he just watches you leave with those same wide eyes.
You get back out into the courtyard, a slow exhale leaving you as you brace yourself for the eyes of all the onlookers, and though most of them are just curious over the girl that Gojo Satoru just chased after in front of all his frat bros and harem of sorority girls, you can’t help but feel like some of them are judging and hateful and jealous too. But anger beats out all of your emotions of worry or embarrassment, and when you see the girl that kissed him still lingering over at the barbecue station, glaring daggers at you, you match it with a glare of your own. 
You walk up to her, and you see she expects you to say something, like she’s prepared for a cat fight as if it’s all she’s ever known, but instead you just calmly look over her towards the barbecue station, push past her with a harsh bump of your shoulder against hers, knocking her off balance as she gasps offendedly at your choice to ignore her, but that’s exactly what burns people like her the most. The feeling of realizing their fuckassery is insignificant and boring and not even worth the energy of reprimanding. 
One of the frat bros at the grill cautiously hands you a plate of ribs.
“Um. You didn’t use condoms to serve these, right?” you ask as you take it from him.
“N-No,” he stutters, “…why? I-Is that a request?”
“No, no, no. You’re good.”
.
.
.
[end of chapter 11]
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a/n. hiiiii thank u sm for tuning into another chapter of Edging With Plot!! 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼😍😍😍 (haha just kidding. sorta) hope you enjoyed readinggg n apologies for the wait for this chapter. honestly writing the little scene on the poolhouse couch was a lot of fun tbh i got such young puppy love vibes while writing their dialogue pls guys i think they’re fallng in loooovvee :(( sobs. lil kickoff couple sorry if the chapter ends kinda abruptly haha i am sooooo unbelievably jaded rn after four weeks of traveling i couldn’t think of any other way to end it since the last part was the only scene i had left to write lol. on that note, i will be a little mia next couple days as we’re doing the long haul stretch drive home and i’ll be driving for most of it so :’’) i won’t be able to respond to replies or asks for this chapter right away like i usually am able to but i can’t wait to interact w you all once i’m back home very soon <3 so much love from me as always!! hope you’re all taking care and having a nice summer. remember to stay hydrated :) - ellie 💕
➸ take me to chapter twelve!
additional notes. please do not ask me for updates or when i will next update (read rules); taglist is currently closed (consider subscribing to the story on my ao3 for email updates if you'd like! :0)
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globofhoney · 2 years ago
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Tastes of flesh
(WARNING: blood, biting, violence, a bit of not SFW(?), ugh! idk what to tell y'all! it's damn sickening alright?)
..................................................................................
For followers of the light...she is nothing more than a filthy wench who should be put to execution for the treacherous sin she committed, tainted by creature from kingdom of darkness...is only the beginning of her journey down the path of unholy bonds.
She is only a fragile little toy, in hands of the insatiable demon, general of Lokheim. The day she bound herself to him, was when she realized it was too late to escape from death grip of this insane demon.
"Do not fret my little lamb, im not going to hurt you...much~"
His touch is harsh, callous, and full of cruelty, yet, it filled with strange sense of compassion for the wretched being such as herself, or maybe... it's only her who is completely blinded by the dark desires she has for him, to be with a demon is like hanging oneself's on a thread, after all...
"S-stop teasing me!"
For a lowly and weak human, she is such a brave, young soul. Spoke back to him in that manner, not only once, but quite a lot. Despite the horror tales of this carnage lord, he spared her life, and given her a new purpose, to become his plaything, through and through.
He always look at her with those red, abyssal blaze colored gaze, observe how (y/n) timidly move around and about his den doing her own business, like predator stalking prey in the dark. Surely, her skull could be a fine collection in his trophy room, but no...Omen has another plan, after all...a skull of a non warrior wouldn't worth his time to clean and keep.
They shared many moons together in heated and messy nights, Lokheim could be cold sometimes, but of course...little miss (y/n) refuse to be rot away in the unpredictable, freezing wind of the abyss. She begged, and made a demand from him, but also trying to be tough and unyielding in front of a maniac warmonger, Oh...what a cute little thing.
"Indulge my curiosity, little one, how do you feel about me?"
He asks the same question once again, and for a mortal whose actions based on act of folly, (y/n) could not say a single, not even foul curses she should say right in his face.
"I...I love you"
Sweet words rolled out of her tongue like a glob of honey, oh how much it strokes his ego and lift his spirit to ecstasy. He could sees through her clouded heart and mind, and craves it more.
"Show me then, show me how much you love me"
Softer fleshes and bones are considered as a good meal for Omen, he could just rip her apart and devour her literally like he did to any weaklings who stray too close to him, but she has more worth than that.
"Please...d-don't bite me too hard, it's- hurt!"
His violent adoration is always too much for her, anyway. But despite her futile resistance, her body always welcome him with warmth, it is alluring and making him hungry at the same time.
_________________________________________
It is all about lust for him, his little plaything knows how to lift his spirit indeed, Omen could not help but drowned in (y/n)'s lovely scent, and her mortality. One day she will die, whether it be by old age or fatal wounds, then...faded from his memory.
For now, he will indulge in scarlet paradise a little longer, the place only him and her existed.
"you're gorgeous my little human, all these lovely fleshes and blood...mine to take"
ferocious and swift, he always makes her scream in pleasure everytime he filled her.
"You look prettier with those marks on your body, i hope you like them~"
He is (y/n)'s scarlet paradise...
and she is also his...
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urbestestwindgod · 15 days ago
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okok so content warning for a YAP about clouds, hair, european styles of braids, and aeolus in both the odyssey and epic
ALSO THIS IS ALL STUFF IVE HEARD LIKE AGES AGO BC GOOGLE IN THESE PAST YEARS ESPECIALLY WITH AI HAS BECOME SO DAMN HARD TO NAVIGATE LIKE IM TRYING TO BRUSH UP ON MY ENGLISH BRAID SYMBOLISM AND BABA YAGA KNOWLEDGE IDGAF ABT WHITE GIRLS IN BOX BRAIDS DEBATES OR TEN BEST WAYS TO ACHIEVE ENGLISH BRAIDS THATS NOT WHAT I WANT😭so if anything is wrong here just leave me alone this is a dumb ramble anyways about how i think it would be cool if aeolus’ cloud hair was also symbolic for his character in the moment its in bc hair is rlly symbolic to me im general 😔
so first let me list our key details—cloud formations (theres like a million combinations so not really gonna get too specific here), fishtail braids, english braids, milkmaid braids, hair symbolism, and keep your friends close
stripping aeolus of everything firstly to just the character in the odyssey, aeolus is a helpful but not overly generous figure. aeolus, wind keeper, beloved by the gods, lives in basically paradise with his wife and twelve children—giving odysseus a wind bag that holds all the winds that would blow them away from ithaca trapped that his men open under the false assumption that the bag has treasures—this leads aeolus to believe odysseus has bad luck and to ward off that mess with the gods aeolus has him fuck off of his island respectfully,
redressing him back in all the epic nuance aeolus still retains the helpful but not too generousism of before. now that the vengeance saga has some light to shed back onto him.
aeolus in his main song brings almost very false sense of security to odysseus until the whole “sometimes killing is a must :D” line hits and aeolus’ intentions become clearer as slightly more malicious. having his winions lie to the crew outright, could be interpreted as joyously watching the crew fall apart, and then the absolute bitchiness of his last lines to odysseus. popping up briefly in love in paradise in the time dive, then the wind bag is back in dangerous—and finally when the wind bag is used aeolus’ melody plays just before.
okay so now to cloud formation hair !!
one mention: hair braiding is considered emotionally intimate and close, (lana del rey has a song abt that lol) and aeolus’ whole song is just “keep your forends close and your enemies closer” “never really know who you can trust” “friends turn to foes and rivalries” “everythings changed since polities” and less line explicitly stated the crew falling out of trust with odysseus as eurylochus started in luck runs out—aeolus pads down the path for odysseus’ takes on his relationships to his crew and foes from this point on,
and another annoying note sorry i usually draw aeolus (which no u will never see im not confident enough for that pls) with a more standard cloud ☁️ shape of curls in his hair but there is many not ☁️ shaped clouds out there
and i think it would be fun at least in my head that aeolus greets odysseus with a fishtail braid. not very stable, loose, doesnt stay put together well—and all throughout the song until the winions say “sometimes killing is a must” the braid is falling out until “cause the ends always justify the means” and aeolus’ hair just falls to his shoulders
one because braids usually represent some kind of innocence or purity (which, as a god, aeolus inherently has) and hair down is more mature—while its a common interpretation to absolve aeolus of all blame by virtue of innocence and naivety i think it would be so cool if that is just aeolus playing around with that act even though he knows the situation so damn well, he had to have heard luck runs out, he had to have known about posiedon (who is in some versions his DAD) wanting odysseus, he had to have known every bit of the set up of the game was putting ody up for failure—and i love that personally
then, my hc is that aeolus spent those nine days ody was awake chilling on the ship with him n the crew to observe, but when aeolus meets the crew i think his hair would be in two english braids—innocence, purity, great for keeping your hair healthy 10/10 would recommend, couldnt be done in baba yaga’s hair bc she was a witch, just as some extra trickery for funsies yknow
at the end with the whole storm i think it should be down and curled like☁️but long on his shoulder a mess he basically is the storm cloud who had no reason so be so cunty to odysseus like damn😭
then then skipping over wisdom bc it was just a memory dive and going to vengeance my friend said it would be cute if a small little sprite in aeolus’ general shape is what carried the bag over to odysseus under water and i think it should have a milkmaid braid because that represents servitude, help, assistance, yknow like what that last wind bag was to odysseus and as im typing this im having too many thoughts on it so ill stop myself right here
this means nothing and has no purpose but hair and its symbolism has been important to me for a long time for reasons i cant place sooo yea
you can always tell ur crazy aus to me bc i have an entire headcanon so complex and convoluted its basically an au and its only focus is aeolus’ hair so (i literally brought the tale of baba yaga into this as an example for the symbolism 😭🙏)
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harryspet · 4 years ago
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off to the races (2) s.rogers
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[Warnings] dark!steve rogers x reader, stripper!reader, ddlg, daddy!steve, abduction/kidnapping, mafia boss steve, bondage, a hint of peter x reader, toxic/abusive relationship, hella angst, little editing 
A/N: im mentally shutting down because of school but at least i have mob!steve :)
In which you don’t want to be Daddy’s secret anymore.
word count: 3.5k
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“Woah, dude, your room is awesome. Awe, you have all the good movies. I haven’t seen The Jungle Book in forever!” 
“Peter, look!” You waved him over to the window, ignoring his astonishment for the paradise Steve had created for you. Peter stood there dumbly for a moment before walking over to the window beside your bed. 
You heard the loud whirring of helicopter spinning blades echoing through the room even with the window closed. It was landing in the field behind the manor and you were questioning why Steve was making such a grand entrance today. You’d been stuck in this house for three weeks now and nothing this exciting had happened yet, “Who’s helicopter is that?” You looked back at Peter who’d crossed his arm nervously. 
“Uhm … probably … maybe-” You scoffed, before looking back at the view. The helicopter was a sleek, black color and, as you narrowed, your eyes could make out some words written in gold. 
“Stuh …. Stark …. Industries. Stark Industries,” You were calm as you took in the info before the realization hit you, “Stark Industries! Is Tony Stark here? Holy …. pancakes.”
Peter smiled, seemingly amused by your excitement, “Pancakes?”
“Steve doesn’t like it when I-” You stopped yourself from explaining, realizing there was a bigger situation at hand, “We have to go check things out. Get a closer look!”
“No way,” Peter shook his head, “I’m here to make sure you stay in this room.”
You rolled your eyes, “So Tony Stark must be here then, right?”
“I can neither confirm nor deny that,” Peter pressed his lips together like he was struggling to hold in all the secrets he knew. 
“How the hell does Steve know Tony Stark? Stark is dirty too? I should’ve known … flipping rich people.”
“Flipping?”
You took a step toward him and despite the fact you were wearing a pair of fairy wings, he still seemed intimidated by you, “What do you want, huh? A raise?”
“Uhm … I don’t think you can do that … can you?”
“Of course I can. Steve is wrapped around my finger.”
Peter cocked an eyebrow, “But he’s Steve Rogers …”
“Look around this room for goodness sake! He does anything I want. If I tell him all about how you’re a great worker, how you’re a good friend to me, he’ll surely be appreciative. Might even give you a promotion and maybe you won't have to play babysitter anymore.”
He considers it just for a moment, “If he does anything you want then why are you locked in this house?”
“Fine, fine, so I don’t have complete control but I have some. I could be helpful to you in the future!” 
“Y/N, if something went wrong he’d probably chop me up into little pieces and send them to my Aunt. Or he’d chop up my aunt and make me watch … depends on the kinda mood he’s in.”
You stared back at him, trying not to let the look on your face falter, “ … I’ll give you my movie collection?” 
“I’m sorry but-”
“It’s my birthday soon?”
“I can’t,” Peter stated, sighing, “I’ve got pressure on me right now, and things have to go right tonight. It’s like a huge deal. I never get to go to stuff and the party is-” He stopped his rambling when he realized he’d said too much. 
“Party?” Peter opened his mouth and closed it again. He turned away from you, eyes wide, and made his way to the door. Of course, you chased after him, placing yourself between him and the door, “What party?”
“Please move,” Peter begged, “I really can’t talk about it.”
“I won’t say anything, I promise!” You were the one begging now, “He doesn’t tell me anything at all. Can you imagine how I’m feeling? I’ll do everything you say, I won’t try anything, I just want to know what's going on …. please?”
“Steve can’t know,” You nodded eagerly and he finally gave in, probably because of your spectacular puppy dog eyes, “Tony Stark is having a party tonight, that’s where Steve’s going, and most of us are going to. A pretty important deal is happening.”
“Why doesn’t Steve want me to go?” You frowned a bit.
“I don’t think he wants anybody to know about you, to keep you safe, that kind of thing.”
“Right,” You nodded, “Even if I go crazy while he does that.”
Peter looked sympathetic, “I’m sorry.”
“I know this thing with me and Steve is not ordinary but is it crazy of me to not want to be a secret? Even after everything …”
You could tell Peter wasn’t expecting a deep question nor did he expect you’d confide in him, “I don’t think so,” Peter was trying to understand, you could see it in his eyes. He rubbed the back of his neck as if he wasn’t sure, “Obviously … you - uhm - care about him. I wouldn’t want to be the secret of someone I care about.”
He was taken aback when you suddenly hugged him. Unsure if he could hug you back, he awkwardly patted your shoulder which made you giggle, “Can I paint your nails?”
“What? No.”
“I have colors that aren’t girly.” “Hmm … can you do cool stuff like the shapes and sparkles?”
“Of course,” You smiled, “Step into my salon.”
+
“I didn’t get my sticker this week,” You bounced back from your toes to your heels, watching Steve as he got ready in his closet. He was fixing his tie in the mirror, making sure it was absolutely perfect, along with the rest of the look. Freshly trimmed beard and an aftershave that smells intoxicating. He smelt like money and looked like it too. That’s probably exactly how you would want to look in front of Tony Stark. 
“You skipped dinner two days in a row, doll.”
You were frowning but it wasn’t like he was focused on you anyways, “But I did better after that,” You whined.
“I know, baby, you can try again next week.”
“Maybe if you were here then I wouldn’t have missed it,” You whispered, playing with your fingernails, “But I’m stuck here and you get to go out and have your fun.”
“Have my fun?” He questioned, buttoning up his jacket. 
“You get home so late … I’m sure you go to your clubs, booze it up and talk to girls.”
He chuckled a bit, “You think I’m flirting with other women?”
“I don’t think, I know,” You leaned against the doorway, “You’re a guy, aren’t you? That’s what you do.”
He finally turned to you, and you felt your breath hitch in your throat. He was as handsome as ever, like a movie star, “Doll, my days are long because I’m traveling from here to the city every day. I want to fall asleep and wake up with you. There isn’t and never will be anyone who I’d rather do that with.” 
As he came closer, you knew he was going to lift you into his arms. Ever since he took you from the club and you sobbed into his shoulders, you’d find solace in his arms. Even if his hands were causing your hurting, they still felt warm and loving, “You don’t mean that,” You whispered, muffled against his shoulder. 
“What can I do to prove it to you?”
“Take me with you,” You said and you felt him stiffen. 
“It’s not safe,” He tried to explain. 
“Are you embarrassed by me?” 
“No, no,” He rushed out, carrying you out of the closet and into the bedroom. “Why would you even ask that?”
“Because of what I do, what I used to do-”
“No, Y/N. I’ve never felt that way,” His tone was more concerned that it ever had been before, “Look at me, please?”
Begrudgingly, you lifted your head. You hated that you were feeling jealous or inadequate, “You took care of yourself all these years and I know you still can,” He continued, “Let me protect you now.”
“I’m not a baby.”
Steve could sense the small bit of pride still left in you and decided not to push you on it anymore, “Could’ve fooled me,” Steve smiled slightly, bouncing you in his arms, “Let me tuck you in, grumpy.”
“The sun just set!” 
“It wasn’t actually a request,” He was already carrying you away. 
“Wait, wait, wait,” You resisted, “Can I sleep in here? I’ll go to sleep right away, I promise.”Steve stopped, thinking it over for a moment, “I like that the … sheets smell like you, Daddy,” You added, knowing that was what he wanted to hear. It wasn’t fully a lie but you had other motives for not wanting to go back to your room. For one, your room locked from the outside and his didn’t. Besides that, you were almost sure that one of your stuffed bears had a camera inside its eye. 
Steve tucked you into his california king-sized bed that night and watched you fall asleep until it was time for him to go. You felt the kiss he pressed to your forehead and, for a brief moment, you thought about changing your plans. 
That feeling didn’t last long. 
+
For such an expensive car, you thought your ride would be a lot smoother and much more comfortable. Turns out, hiding in any trunk, no matter how luxurious, behind big boxes of unknown items, was not a pleasant experience. An hour into the drive, you finally decided that you’d had enough and you needed to get the feeling back into your limbs. Besides that, you needed to check and make sure that your hair and makeup stayed in place. 
When you climbed over the seat from the trunk to the backseat, the car instantly swerved before the driver corrected its path, “Y/N, holy shit!” Peter shouted, obviously frightened out of his mind but you were focused on making sure all the layers of your dress made it safely back into their places, “What the fuck? What the actual fuck?”
“Oh, calm down,” You said, looking at him through the rearview, “Just keep driving.”
“Are you out of your mind? If Steve sees you he’s going flip his shit!” 
“Peter, you okay in there, kid?” You heard Bucky’s staticky voice over Peter’s radio. The younger man picked it up and answered, his eyes still focused on you. 
You placed a finger over your lips and Peter gave you a death stare, “Yeah, I’m fine … I thought I saw a squirrel.”
A caravan of three cars surrounded Steve’s car as they all drove down this dark, winding road that you assumed would lead to Tony Stark’s mansion, “Did you not comprehend a single word I said?” Peter shouted, “Do you want me to get killed?”
“This is my problem,” You said, “Steve will know that you had nothing to do with it, I promise. But tonight is going to go super well so it won’t even matter. Steve is going to see me and realize he’s crazy not to show me off and then we’re going to go to the party and I’m going to charm everyone with my personality which is going to make him a ton of friends and even more money. Everyone wins.”
Peter was shaking his head the entire time as he listened to your rambling,  “Y/N, I understand that you want to be more to Steve and you don’t want to be in the dark but this isn’t the way! This isn’t some charity event or some art gala, these are dangerous people.”
“But Tony Stark-”
“Is as dirty as it gets,” Your heart began to race a bit, “And Steve cannot just let everyone know his biggest weakness, even if they are his allies.”
His biggest weakness. 
Suddenly, your mind was racing with thoughts of moments with Steve. Meeting him, going on your first dates, the hotel meetings, and the passionate kisses that always left you feeling like he felt more about you than he admitted. You never saw yourself as his weakness. 
I want to fall asleep and wake up next to you. 
When you snapped out of your trance, Peter had his walkie-talkie pressed to his chin, “Guys, uhm, we have a stowaway,” You slumped back in your seat, and when the car eventually came to a stop, you wished you were still tucked away in Steve’s bed. You think Peter was calling your name, probably apologizing and telling you how he had to follow orders but, honestly, you had tuned him out, “I-I don’t know …. I thought I checked everything …”
Your dress was adorable too, covered in pastels, while still remaining elegant. You imagined Steve's heart with flutter at the sight of you, instead, he was fuming. He was always so stoic, so full of composure, that the change frightened you. He grabbed you roughly by your upper arm, pulling you from the backseat, and slamming the door shut. Pressed against the car, you looked into those blue-green eyes that were anything except nice. 
“I didn’t mean to for all this,” Was all you could muster up the courage to say, “I just wanted to come with you-”
He shushed you before you got your words out, “We’ll talk about it later.”
You wished he would just yell at you now. He could bend you over right now and you’d prefer that over his silence and the obvious disappointment in his tone, “Later? But-” He pulled you away from the car and you stumbled in your heels as he pulled you along the dark road. 
He brought you towards the last car in the caravan and Sam stepped out from behind it, closing the trunk, before handing something shiny to Steve, “What are you doing?” You asked shakily, the cold wind of the night blowing your dress. 
“Turn around, face the car,” He ordered you and you feared whatever punishment you were about to receive would be worse if you disobeyed him. Slowly, you turned around and he wasted no time grabbing your wrist. You heard the metal click of handcuffs as they tightened around your wrist. You felt his strong hands on your waist and, as he lifted your dress, you assumed the worst. Your panties slipped down and as Steve lowered himself with them. 
“Steve, please talk to me?”
To your surprise, as you stepped out of your underwear, you felt the click of metal around your ankles. When he stood back up, he grabbed your arm again, pulling you back so you were pressed against his chest, “Daddy will deal with you later,” His breath against your ear sent shivers down your spine, “Don’t worry, doll … open your mouth.”
“If you just let me explain-”
You weren’t sure why you even wanted to. He left your brain scrambled and wondering why you even did the things that you did. 
“I won’t ask you again.”
Your lips parted and you realized he was forcing your panties into your mouth. The next thing that you knew, you were lying in the back seat of that car, your wrist hogtied to your ankles. And you thought sitting in the trunk would be uncomfortable. You were struggling and calling out for him and, as you expected, you were ignored. 
“Get her back as fast as you can. I’ll keep things short with Stark,” Were the last words you heard before the door shut close and all your screaming was muffled. 
+
You weren’t sure at which point you’d fallen asleep. As you laid there tied up, you thought a lot about him since there was nothing else to think about. You weren’t sure how he could love you and be so cruel at the same time.  
That next morning, you awoke to sore limbs and makeup staining your pillow. Even though the car ride back was hell, you knew your punishment wasn’t over. You debated even getting out of bed, knowing what was to come. 
You finally mustered the energy to clean yourself up, washing your face, and brushing your teeth. When you stepped back into your room, you were taken aback by what was sitting in the middle of your room. A giant, life-size brown bear was happily perched before your bed, holding balloons and a Tiffany’s gift bag. 
It was exactly the opposite of what you were expecting today. You approached it cautiously, decided to sit and open up the present. You handled the bag carefully, finding an elegant white card sitting inside. 
For my favorite girl on her birthday.
Love, Daddy. 
You sighed, knowing he probably picked all of this out before you betrayed him and probably ruined any sort of trust he had between you. You hadn’t even realized it was your birthday which was probably due to the fact that you had no phone or any contact with the outside world. There was also a jewelry box inside, a gorgeous, rose-gold tennis bracelet inside. 
As you snapped it around your wrist, covering your bruises, you promised not to ask how much it cost. It would probably make you feel even worse about yesterday. 
You finished getting dressed, deciding to head downstairs for breakfast. You found Steve sitting at a table out by the pool, reading through a newspaper like a grandpa. It seemed like he was expecting you because there were pancakes and eggs waiting on the table, “Morning,” You greeted awkwardly. 
“Good morning, doll. Happy Birthday,” He responded, his eyes still focused on the newspaper. 
“Thanks,” Taking a seat in front of him, you instantly moved to grab the syrup, but the rings on his finger caught your attention. Below, you could see his knuckles were red and purple, bruised like he’d been punching something … or someone. “Your hands …” 
He folded his newspaper, taking a look at them himself. It didn’t seem to faze him as he folded them on his stomach, leaning back in his chair, “Your wrist,” He changed the subject and you wondered if he was amused by the fear in your eyes, “Do you like my gift?”
“Yeah, it’s beautiful, I love it … thank you,” Your mind was elsewhere, “What happened to your hands? Is that from last night?”
“Last night is a blur. I was so angry after your little stunt, I had to have a few drinks to even get through the rest of the night.”
“Really?” You tried to hold in your scoff, “You seem very chipper today.”
“Only because I get to see your beautiful face,” He countered, smirking. 
Your eyes narrowed at him, “What did you do?”
“That’s a broad question-”
“Did you hurt him?”
“Him?” Steve raised an eyebrow, “You mean Peter? I thought about it … I’m still thinking about it actually. If he was smarter, yesterday would have never happened but you must’ve been pretty convincing. Poor kid, he probably thought you liked him.”
“None of it was his fault! I-I was just being stupid, I was using him and he was just trying to be a good guy. Steve, please.”
“If I did, you would probably start to actually listen. You’d never try one of those crazy stunts ever again-”
“I will listen! No more stunts, I’ll be an angel from now on,” You stood up from your chair, moving around the table, “I know you’re just trying to protect me. Peter tried to tell me that and I should’ve listened.” You grabbed a hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly. 
“That’s all I want,” He added sincerely and you nodded. 
“I’ll pinky promise,” With your other hand, you held out your pinky. You thought Peter would be your way out but, here you were, begging to stay in order to keep him alive. Your pinkies wrapped around each other and you climbed into his lap. You kissed the sides of his mouth before kissing his lips. 
“Soon, we’ll take a trip together, I know you’re itching to get away.” 
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” You kissed his lips again, “Your hands … what actually happened?”
“Punching bag,” He easily explained although you were expecting a tale of horror. Holding his hand, you brought his fist to your lips, kissing them gently, “That probably wouldn’t have happened a year ago … I think you make me more gentle.”
“That’s a lot of pressure, don’t you think? Turning a beast into a prince.”
“For some reason, I have faith in you.”
+
“Peter!” You perked up as soon as he entered the living room, not realizing how grateful to see that he was still in one piece. Sam, Bucky, and Steve seemed to exchange confused glances from their places on the couch. 
Peter seemed baffled as well, “Am I in trouble or something?”
“No, we’re about to watch Coco. Wanna join?”
“There’s popcorn,” Sam added, stuffing his face.
“And cookies,” Bucky chimed in. 
Peter smiled, unsure, as he looked to Steve for permission, “Join us, son.”
“Awesome,” Peter clapped, making his way over to the couch, “This one always makes me cry.”
“Y/N, I thought you said this one wasn’t sad,” Bucky eyed you. You shrugged, snuggling yourself further into Steve’s side. You tried to hide a mischievous smile and act like you weren’t hoping to see three grown men tear up from a Disney movie. 
“Okay, press play,” You tapped Steve’s chest and he raised the remote. 
“Wait,” Steve paused, “Are all three of your nails painted?”
+
i’m thinking maybe i’ll make a christmas themed part 3, we shall see :)
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ressjeon · 3 years ago
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in this paradise (moodboard teaser)
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pairing: survivor!jungkook x fem!reader
summary: In an attempt to escape what's been planned for him, Jungkook hopped on a ship only to face a tragedy that he didn't expect and enter you who somehow couldn't believe to find company in this isolated land. Was this fate or was this just a temporary chance of bliss as a challenge for you both?
rating: 18+ 
genre: tropical island!au, survivor!au, strangers to lovers, angst, smut, romance & fluff
warnings: some accidents mentioned, lots of teasing, swearing, sexual tension, explicit sexual content, multiple sex scenes (beach, treehouse?, etc.), pet names, skinny dipping, finger sucking, thigh riding, unprotected sex (no condoms in da island peeps), handjob, oral (m. receiving), nipple play, fingering, riding, jk takes it from the back too. (warnings could change)
a/n: this wasn't the first JK fic I planned to post but he was in Summery outfit on Sowoozoo so I had to bump it up among other WIPS 😅. 2 years ago, I got intrigued when I saw the theme song mv of this TV series on my YT dash, the mc has the same name as me and it was Jungkook who first came into when some scenes (4 in exact, including this one) flashed in my mind. The plot is completely different though as I only borrowed some elements of it ♡.
ps. this moodboard was damn hard to make T.T
Check it out here!
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― masterlist — navigation ― wips
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A sudden ruckus behind your shoulder alerts you immediately, and you turn to see a little movement in the tall grass among the trees.
At last, food.
You’ve been hungry for hours since you wake up so it would be amazing to find something to eat since it's lunch already. Getting into position, you raise one arm up with a spear above your head, the other hand holding up front just in case it attacks you.
Readying yourself as you approach the moving grass, you part them with the other hand but to your surprise, you find a half-naked man in dirty white jeans with dark hair, his doe-eyes staring at you in shock.
"woah, woah, woah" an instant fear crosses his eyes, both of his hands suddenly waving in front in surrender causing him to wince a little, allowing you to spot the wound below his right shoulder so you lower down your arm.
He’s good-looking, add the harsh rays of sunlight looming over him from above to that.
You recover instantly, locking your eyes to his with a death glare as you move your spear in front of you.
“who are you?” you demand, suspicious eyes raking his form as you come nearer to him. He could still be a threat for all you know, best to take precautions.
“jungkook” he pants, reaching out with open palms to shake your hands. He hopes that you'll deem him as harmless by doing so and looks at you pleadingly when you don’t answer him.
“y/n” you respond gently a bit after dropping your spear on the side, feeling a spark when your hand touches his, of how gentle he’s shaking your hand despite the worry in his eyes.
He sighs in relief but pain crosses his handsome face, and he’s wincing even more this time. You manage to catch him before his body reaches the ground.
“my bad” he chuckles while trying to stand up, somehow disregarding that he almost collapsed. You really wonder how he can joke about his situation.
“you’re wounded you know” you scoff, inspecting his wound straightaway.
“yeah but at least you’re here now” he grins and winks at you as he positions himself on your lap, making your eyes roll.
“shut up or i won’t help you” you chide, pulling out the remnants of splinters from his wound with warning and he pouts.
“okay, okay, i’ll behave” he whines as he stays still lying down on his stomach and you’re trying to ignore how you can feel his defined abs on your legs.
“why are you wandering here in the forest while your wound is still fresh?” you ask and Jungkook smiles when he hears the concern in your voice. Ngl, he was shit scared of you earlier, if it weren’t for his wound that’s slowing him down and you’re pretty face he would’ve bolted instantly.
“I was looking for medicinal herbs” he answers, shaking his injured shoulder a little and you smile at this cute antic, okay he’s adorable.
“stop moving” you tsks.
“and what exactly is a beautiful girl like you doing in this forest too?” he questions before you can even answer him right away.
“i was looking for food,” you pause, stating the obvious.
“so that’s why you have a hunting spear with you. where did you even find materials to make it?"  he prods, a lot of curiosity in his voice and you smile again, he can’t see you from this angle anyways so it’s good.
“on the shore, a lot of things wash up there” you hum, finishing up the make bandage on his shoulder using the thin jacket that was wrapped on your waist earlier.
You feel him nod and huff a breath like he wants to ask more.
“right, right. how about we search the beach later? maybe we can find more stuff that we can use” he asks as he slowly gets up from your lap, displaying an excited smile and you nod.
“does it hurt?” you ask impassively and he shakes his head.
You help him in standing up, carefully assisting on his elbow for him to not put weight on it and he laughs again. He’s been giddy all this time and you still have no idea why.
"i'm okay" he snorts and you elbow him.
"what's funny?"
You frown, brows scrunching as you eye him with annoyance. As much as you're still wary of him, you’re starting to get confused on how he can make you react this fast in everything that he does.
"you seem so caring now compared to earlier" he teases.
"you needed help, i'm not as heartless as you think" you glare at him and retrieve your spear from the ground.
“your words are actually the opposite of your actions” he continues.
“well, aren’t you an excellent observer” you snicker as you look around to check if you missed anything.
Jungkook on the other hand is just observing how you effortlessly gather your stuff with you. How for some reason, you still look gorgeous with your white mini sundress, a contrast at how tough you look with your tools on you.
"what?" you bark, raising one brow at him and he stops himself from laughing this time. He just shrugs with a playful smile and walks away, urging you to follow him as you both venture into the woods.
“jungkook” you call him, walking beside him now.
“yes?” he questions playfully, not sparing you any glance while looking up at the coconut trees around you.
“you better be taking this seriously after you heal” you huff.
“i already am, i swear! you have no faith in me, im offended” he complains with that fake hurt in his voice and you scowl at him before walking faster, now leading the path instead. He laughs louder this time, following you into some stream or river.
All jokes aside, Jungkook is truly relieved at finding another survivor washing up on the same island as he is. At least he won’t be alone while waiting for rescue anymore, plus you’re hot as hell so this won’t be bad after all.
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taglist: @jungkooksbroski​ 
permanent taglist: @bluesharksandfish @taebkyun @sheprocrastinatesalot​ @iamscharene​
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fanfiction-funtime · 3 years ago
Note
IM SORRY IVE BEEN SLACKING ON HYPING YOU UP
Anyway I’m reading through the Things ™ and wow
Can I request something? There’s an idea I’ve been pondering for a bit. You know already who I’ll ask for, I’m guessing.
What if the reader fell for Xiao in Genshin, in a state where they constantly daydream about him. Rather than working on scenarios and scenes, it happens in real time.
Meanwhile, in another universe, Xiao in a modern setting has fallen for a Genshin character- the reader. He daydreams about them in the same manner.
To the reader, their Xiao is a guardian yaksha, Golden adeptus, and doombane itself.
To Xiao, his (y/n) is something just as exalted. I tend to use a seelie, since they’re an immortal race of ancient and now weak gods.
What they both don’t know is that they’re actually meeting in those daydreams. It’s not just imagination and the longing for company, but an actual relationship with another person.
Bonus points if it’s some sort of soulmate au and they physically can’t find each other and eventually realize it.
I’ve never told anyone about this before, and I’m excited to see what you do with it! I might work with it one day, just not yet.
(Hoo boy, this will be tough, but I'm sure I can do it! Xiao might be a bit ooc as I'm getting his personality from wiki and fanon, as well as modern au [hopefully] gives him less trauma and a slightly different personality.)
(Also, I can't do sad endings. So a bit of deus ex OC at the 3rd part)
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Your game
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Your pov: the dream eater of your dreams
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You are (y/n)(l/n), and you are in the saddest love story this side of the lake.
Ever since you saw him in that first quest you were in love!
You were just a teen though, so it wasn't real right? After all, your red string wasn't connected to the screen.
Well, your string isn't connected to anything...
Y-your just a late bloomer though right?
(Ten years later)
Your now in your twenties and you still love Xiao!
He permeates your thoughts like how lovers do, you feel an inexplicable hurt in your chest similar to what many describe feeling when they see their soulmate prior to their string appearing, not to mention whenever you aren't busy you feel like you're...slipping...in...in and...
[Daydream]
It was happening again.
It was like a daydream but more...real.
Like a lucid dream.
You saw your string, just like so many other times, and you followed it.
You ran and ran, turquoise clouds parting and making paths for you to find him.
Him..
You ran and ran, glad that atleast in some way your delusions can give you some semblance of true love.
You saw the..wait..that's not the inn.
Well it is the inn, but more modern. And there was a school next to it, and a small village not far away.
Another of thing was that you were in some kind of yellow armor, it reminded you of those baby geovisnaps from genshin impact(that are absolutely BULL-)
You went into the elevator, which seemed more ancient than usual.
And when you reached the balcony, you saw him. But he was different.
Instead of the Yaksha you usually saw, you were greeted by an equally shocked man in a martial arts gi. But it was him.
But different.
You reached out, and he did the same.
And you touched
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Xiao's pov: the midsummer knight of his dreams
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(Clarifying: in this version Liyue is based on European mythology and aesthetic while Mondstadt is based on Chinese. So you are a fae hunting knight rather than a demon hunting yaksha)
Xiao had always been reserved, but what happened to him as a kid drew him further into his shell.
Abusive parents, accidentally giving his sister trauma induced amnesia, he felt the weight of his actions like atlas feels the world on his shoulders.
Luckily, two people took him and his sister QiQi in: QiQi's doctor Baizhu, and Xiao's therapist(and Baizhu's husband) Morax.
It was difficult to come out, even after Xiao stopped feeling so at fault. So he mostly stayed in his room and played video games.
That is until he met you.
Well met is the wrong word here.
He saw your character in his world's version of genshin impact: tribunal eruption
The way you used your weapon, the way your armor shined in the night as you rode to his wanderer. The smile you gave as he handed you (favourite food).
But most of all, the way you used fighting styles from so many martial arts and hand to hand combat techniques.
From irish kickboxing to karate, from assassination arts in ancient history of japan to systema.
It awoken two things in him: first was his want to learn martial arts and make his own.
The second was his love for you.
But don't worry, your physical attributes only drew him in. Your personality made him stay.
Years went on, he became a martial arts instructor for his own style, and moved into an apartment near a small village.
He started teaching at a school nearby, he even gets a discount on rent for giving free lessons to the owner's sons, Ivan and Viktor.
He's also convinced those two have a crush on him but it's pointless.
After all, he was a dream eater, a common group of people who have a strange ability to find their soulmate.
Specifically, the ability to have "lucid daydreams" where they meet their soulmate.
But he must be defective. After all his soulmate kept appearing as...well you. As a knight that would meet him on the balcony every night.
He assumed maybe it was your voice actor or designer, but neither of them have had the lucid daydreams.
He began thinking he'd never find his soulmate
Until one daydream...
He was on the balcony again, like a prince awaiting his knight to rescue him.
But it was different.
The apartment complex he lived in now looked much smaller, as did the tree it was built around, and the building looked far more ancient in design yet so much younger in age.
And the village and school nearby aren't there anymore.
Oddest change of all is that his gi he was wearing just a second ago is now similar to the outfit warn by the mondstadt demon slayer Corps
And when you arrived at the balcony, he noticed a red string, one that connected your heart to his. But you weren't wearing your armor, you were wearing casual, modern clothes.
He knew it was stupid, after all you can't touch your soulmate in the daydreams. But he felt compelled to....to reach out and..
You touched him.
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nothing never comes between you, and nobody helps you get together
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(3rd person pov)
He really did find it annoying, how often mortals would find themselves in the wrong dimension, especially when it's because the writer wants drama. And now he's written in to solve the problem.
Ah well, it's his job.
(2nd person pov)
You didn't know how to feel. You were touching Xiao...and you weren't waking up. Was this...real?
"You... you're real...different but....still the person I love...." Xiao seemed to be equally in a trance at the prospect
"yeah...so are you..."
The armor you wore melted away, and you cant see it but Xiao's fictional clothes melted from him as well. You were both equally real, in your own reality.
But you knew it couldn't last.
"When the daydream ends, I wont be able to see you anymore," Xiao said with a sea of tears in his eyes, "We've actually met now...and now...now the dreams will end."
You lean into him, "then let's make this dream the best one we've ever had."
Your about to kiss when-
"Terribly sorry about this!" A childlike voice called, "you know, interrupting your moment and all that. See for the sake of narrative, you both were put in separate universes. And it's my job to give you a happy ending."
When you both looked, you saw a child made of bone climbing into reality from some kind of hole.
"Now just wait a moment aaannnd-"
The turquoise clouds cleared, and the world rippled into a conjoined reality between genshin impact and tribunal eruption.
"Welcome to your dream world, enjoy eternal love!" The child said as he crawled back into the hole and it closed.
When he was gone, you both observed the world around you: a beautiful mix of aesthetics surrounded you, and both your armor and his adeptus clothing were on you both.
You gazed into eachother's eyes.
He placed one hand on your cheek while another held your hand, "I'm not good with speaking..speaking my emotions..but I....maybe my actions can do that for me..."
You felt your red string radiate with the warmth of love, likewise Xiao felt his daydreams dissipate like a haze leaving his mind.
You grab his hand and place your free hand on his cheek, mirroring his love, as you always have.
"Xiao...your very existence tells me all I need to hear.."
You both leaned in, and kissed.
Two lovers, in a dream made reality,
A paradise for all eternity.
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I feel it kinda fell apart with the deus ex, but I think I scraped it back together in the end!
I hope it's good enough for what you envisioned buddy, I tried my best!
(Also I think you deserve something just as good as what happens to the reader insert in this fic, story)
(Tagging: @golden-wingseos (this is the writing blog for someone you told to tag you), and @storytravelled (just to keep the idea of tagging in mind))
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bubmyg · 3 years ago
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there was no particular reason i wrote all this down other than reading the translations to my universe made me cry last week because i’m just Like this. this is a mini compilation of yoongi lyrics that i hold gently in my palm and close to my heart in a he’s my artist for life kind of way. these aren’t all my favorite yoongi lyrics, i certainly have more but not ones that fit this general vibe. 
this is like extremely disorganized, i kind of just wrote it like a journal (and i’ll probably copy it to my bullet journal at some point actually). interpretations are my own, music is cool in that we can all read and hear the same thing and get different things out of it (which is why yoongi has often said he doesn’t attach specific meaning to things, giving it up to the listener instead)
so yeah. here’s me being fond of yoongi in 4k for no reason other than. idk. i wanted to. all translations are from doyoubangtan and doolsetbangtan. 
song request - lee sora ft suga
“I’ll be with you, for your birth and your end; That you’d remember that I’m with you, wherever you are; I’ll be a comfort for your life at any time, and so; please, that you’d lean on me and take a rest, every once in awhile.”
to me, this perfectly encapsulates what creating music is for yoongi in a two-fold kind of way. not only does he want his music to be a source of comfort for those who listen to it (just as the art of music is for himself), he’s also consistent in his assurance that taking a rest is okay. not being okay is okay. simply existing for the time being is okay. it’s a gentle empathy that comes from the experienced heart of someone who’s not going to tell you that it is okay, but will tell you that it won’t always be like this. friendly little moon trying to get you to smile with him on sleepless nights.
so far away - agust d ft suran
dream, will eventually be in full bloom at the end of hardships
this was on my undergrad graduation cap. it’s one of my favorite lyrics of all time. if so far away is my heart song, this is my heart lyric. this is a common motif in yoongi’s lyrics; dormancy is only temporary, you will bloom at the end of the cold winter.
dream, hope it to be there with you at your creation and at the end of your life
creation to end is another common motif n his lyrics. in this specific context, i imagine it to most closely be analogous to holding dreams close to you your entire life. dreams are dreams no matter how they manifest, even if they’re simply something you long for until your “end”.
Hope it to be there with you at your creation and at the end of your life; It will be generous to you wherever you stand; It will eventually be in full bloom at the end of hardships; The beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will the future be
the entirety of this song reads like a story and this last refrain reads like the conclusion (kind of). the slight wording change from the previous choruses means a lot in that regard, more definite and firm. you will be okay. maybe not now, maybe not next week. but you will be.
suga’s interlude - halsey ft suga
Though the dawn before sunrise is darkest; don’t forget the stars you longed for only rise in the darkness
just a really pretty but heart wrenching lyric in the context of the entire song. he’s also used this metaphor several times. i love me a good string of consistency with minor adaptations to fit the vibe. this song also made me cry the first time i read the translations lmao.
my universe - coldplay ft bts
Because the trial we face now is just for a moment anyway; All you have to do is to just keep shining bright like now; And we will follow you, embroidering this long night
this could mean so many things depending on how you wanted to contextualize it. of course the song is about love, so you could view it in that way. we’re in the midst of a global pandemic where we can’t see each other. or maybe it’s simply existence. continue to exist and one day your bright light will be followed even in the darkest of nights.
also the og title of telepathy being 잠시 (for a moment) is so...min yoongi you are so cool
people - agust d
Did someone say humans are the animals of wisdom?; The way I see it, humans are the animals of regret
Your ordinaries are my extraordinaries; Your extraordinaries are my ordinaries; Your ordinaries are my extraordinaries; Your extraordinaries are my ordinaries
super simple to understand which i think makes it more poignant. especially if you contextualize it with everything he’s said or written regarding the plight of fame and how he himself grapples with it as min yoongi.
28 - agust d ft niihwa
just this whole song. if song request encapsulates yoongi’s musical ethos, this captures a lot of his general musings.
paradise - bts
Just living like this, surviving like this, that’s my small dream; Dreaming dreams, grasping dreams, breathing breaths, it’s often too much
a more blunt take on the simply existing is a good enough dream. yoongi’s 2018 new years message was one of the things that made me go “yes. Him™” so paradise is very <3 for me
interlude: shadow - bts
Flying high scares me; I mean, nobody had told me; how lonely it is here –;how my leap could be my fall
another thing he uses frequently, even as recently as an interview regarding permission to dance. the contemplation of how a fall is far scarier than landing because getting back up is uncertain.
Yeah, I’m you and you’re me, do you finally get that now?; Yeah, you’re me and I’m you, do you finally get that now?
the entirety of this song is haunting particularly paired with the sampling and the music video as a visual but this part is just...the whole idea of competing internal voices throughout the narrative of the song or if you’d rather truly treat the lyrics like a piece of literature, you have quite the unreliable narrator, one that’s trying to grapple with his own sense of self.
140503 at dawn - agust d
Pretending that I’m not lonely, pretending that I’m not suffering; needlessly pretending that I’m okay, and pretending hard that I’m strong; I built a wall in front of me, “Don’t come inside”; I’m an island in this wide ocean, “Don’t abandon me”
the entirety of agust d just makes me ache but i mainly pulled this part because he uses the island metaphor consistently. here, it’s used like i said before; achingly.
this song also gets overlooked a lot in the larger context of agust d but anyway
eight - IU ft suga
Island, yeah this is an island; a small island that we made for each other; Yeah, mm, forever young, the word ‘forever’ is a sandcastle; A farewell is just like an emergency text warning of a disaster; A morning met together with yearning; As each of us pass this eternity, we’re sure to meet again on this island
can i be honest and say i forgot this song came out at the beginning of the pandemic. anyway, if you haven’t heard the various times that jieun has spoke about this song and it’s conveyance, i encourage you to. the music video also gives a beautiful visual.
i wrote a small analysis of this when it came out so i’ll just put it here 
burn it - agust d ft max
I hope you don’t forget that giving up decisively also counts as courage
of course this can absolutely be taken at a literal meaning especially considering he said a similar iteration of this to someone on kkul fm BUT i also like looking at it in context of the entire song because maybe this is him trying to convince himself too, especially considering the wording of the last chorus doesn’t change it so it implies in order to get past the fire u need to let it burn first? burn it = giving up on some aspect of pain?
i see why max didn’t shut up for eight months about making this song i wouldn’t either hello
outro: tear - bts
im including this one firstly because i love the song but secondly to say i knew the second u all were surprised by yoongi saying he wrote this as essentially a break up song for bts and they all cried while listening to it that y’all don’t actually read or interact w their lyrics fjdklafjsd
just bc it’s a rap song doesn’t mean it’s a diss or a flex. weirdos.
intro: never mind - bts
I hope you forget about all your mistakes and such; Never mind; It’s not easy, but engrave this in your heart; If you think you’re going to crash, accelerate more, you idiot; Never mind, never mind; Whatever thorny path it may be, go run; Never mind, never mind; There are a lot of things that you can’t control
the entire composition of nevermind is similar to first love and shadow to me where you can just hear the emotion in his voice while performing it
this is also another general idea that he mentions a few different times through different songs which as we’ve seen i am <3 for
intro: the most beautiful moment in life - bts
once again i don’t have a specific lyric to pull i just love this song so much and i feel like it isn’t talked about enough because first of all the use of the basketball throughout the instrumental, the incorporation of the origin of his stage name into an entire song regarding his general existence as a performer and coming into the beginnings of sizeable fame, and just his general way of essentially writing one giant ode to something he loves and analogizing it to something else he loves to talk through internal struggles.
aka im once again saying min yoongi you’re so cool
first love - bts
same line of awe from above this whole song is just a story, a poem, a journal entry, a beautiful confession, i don’t know. this is yoongi’s best bts solo u can argue with a wall about it also if you were able to see this live i hope u have a terrible week (im joking)
every fancam i’ve ever seen of this makes me cry. so. do with that what you will in regards to how i feel about this song.
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ve1vetyoongi · 5 years ago
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better with you | ksj - 01
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Chapters: index
Pairing: Seokjin x female reader
Genre: fake dating/arranged marriage!au, smut, angst, humour.
Word count: 19k
Summary: A part time job as a chef at Paradise Resort seems like the perfect way to spend your summer and save up some spare cash to open your own restaurant back home. That is until you cross paths with the CEO’s son who threatens to fire you if you don’t help him inherit his trust-fund-baby-fortune. How? By making you his fiancé. Well, his pretend fiancé at least.
Warnings: oral (f receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, spanking, semi-public sex.
A/N: uwu hello and welcome to the first chapter of better with you, part of the paradise series! i hope you enjoy reading these characters as much as i enjoyed writing them because they’re some of my favourites 🥺💘 p.s. im honestly not happy with the pacing of this chapter, but i really wanted to share, so bare with me if it sucks!
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Paradise Resort and the people in it are nothing like how you imagined them to be.
Sure, Paradise is a picturesque gated community with sparkling lake views surrounded by pear trees and sprawling green lawns and white stone fountains like the website described. And sure, everyone here drives foreign cars and loiters by the pool on weekdays and drinks bubbly for breakfast from fine China beneath chandeliers which glisten in the morning sun.
But you quickly realise there is something off; something that doesn't quite fit the expectations you had when you arrived here at the start of the summer, wide eyed and excited.
And that something is you.
You aren't one of the balding golfers leisurely steering carts across the perfectly pruned Paradise grass, flirting unashamedly with pretty young women in tennis skirts as they pass. And you aren't one of their wives, leaving lipstick stains on crystal wine glasses in wicker chairs on balconies as they giggle over finger food and afternoon tea and ignorance of their husband's infidelities.
And you certainly aren't the type of girl to spend her summer's horseback riding or wielding badminton bats or sipping copious amounts of white wine, paid for a la daddy's credit card.
No, because you are a culinary major. Nothing more nothing less. And lucky for you, Paradise was hiring - at least for the summer, anyway, and who better to work overtime in the kitchens at the expense of rich dudes other than broke students, right?
While most people came to Paradise to unwind and celebrate another year of prosperity, it was simply your job to watch from the kitchen window, grit your teeth and save enough cash to put towards opening your own restaurant back home.
Which is exactly how you find yourself slaving away over a plate of scallop sashimi on the stickiest day of August as the kitchen gets ready for the biggest event in Resort history — at least according to your fellow summer employee and designated dish washer duty-man Park Jimin, who seemed to be a constant fountain of gossip -- a trait which you secretly liked him for, despite feigning disinterest in his tittle-tattle.
"Do these people even know what good food is?" You frown at an underwhelmingly small plate of goat cheese salad as you wipe the edge of the plate with a cloth. "They can't seriously want to eat this. Don't they ever just, like, want a burger or something?"
"You're just noticing this place is bonkers?" Jimin snickers behind you, hoisting his weight onto the counter and pulling a grimace of his own when he lay eyes on the limp pile of lettuce leaves they dare to refer to as a meal here. "I saw someone order dessert for breakfast yesterday. Rich people have no rules, Y/N. Besides, it's not like we can serve burgers once Mr Kim arrives."
"Mr Kim?" You ask curiously. "Who's that?"
Jimin's eyebrows furrow, like he can't actually believe you're asking him such a question. Ever since you got here at the beginning of the summer he's been diligently keeping you up to date with the latest Paradise gossip, so you aren't sure why he's surprised you're as out of the loop as ever.
"Mr Kim. The founder of Paradise’s son?" You shrug, blinking at him cluelessly and Jimin shakes his head with a pained expression, lowering his voice like he's utterly appalled at your ignorance. "You haven't heard anything about the guy who is gonna take over this place once his father retires? Kim Seokjin?"
Ah, so that's who the infamous Seokjin is. His name has been buzzing through the kitchen for the last week, much to your confusion, and apparently he would be dining in the restaurant tonight.
You heard the senior chef's were working over time to perfect the cherry clafoutis he personally requested (despite not being an on-the-menu dish) and his impending inheritance of his father's dynasty seemed a topic of hot gossip, spreading in hushed whispers from the bar girls out front to the janitor, everyone seemingly desperate to get a glimpse at the Kim Seokjin. Meaning there are only two possible reasons as to why: he is rich or he is filthy rich.
"So what's the big deal with this guy. Is he some sort of celebrity or something?" You nudge Jimin in the ribs as you return to your station and start to sauté a fresh batch of onions. 
"Nah, just filthy rich." Jimin indulges and you nod. Just as I thought. "And goddamn hot if I should say so myself." He adds, returning to his dish washing station with a sigh, wrinkling his nose when his hands plunge into the soapy suds.
"Still, I don't see why I need to work over time for him." You grumble. The clock had chimed five o clock ten minutes ago and usually you'd be on your way to have a shower and shampoo the smell of grease and garlic out of your hair but instead you were still on the clock, orders lining up for you to prepare and stat. "What’s so special about him dropping by for dinner. Everyone here is rich."
"Well I was talking to one of the big guys," Jimin nods towards the senior chefs. "And apparently his parents have been trying to get him to marry his girlfriend for, like, ever." Jimin's voice dips to a whisper. "But get this. He broke up with his girlfriend last week when his parents suggested they get married!"
You narrow your eyes. "Right. So I'm working over time because some rich dude decided to throw his toys out of the stroller?"
Jimin rips off his pink rubber gloves and shakes you by the shoulders, like he’s trying to knock some sense into you. "Just shut up for a second would you? We're working overtime because his parent's have set him up on a date!"
You slap a hand over mouth, letting out an exaggerated gasp. "Not a date!"
"I know right!" Jimin shakes his head as if this is the scandal of the century, not quite sharing your sarcasm. "Can you believe it?"
"Is he talking about Kim Seokjin, again?" Jungkook, one of the summer buss boys, emerges from the restaurant through the double doors in his familiar black uniform. Jimin quickly smoothes down his hair, mentally chastising himself when soap suds coat his blonde locks, face burning as red as the tomatoes you chop beside him. It's common knowledge that Jimin has the biggest, all consuming crush on the oblivious chestnut haired waiter who flashes you an ever cheeky bunny smile now as he scoops up the dish you prepared onto the tray balanced on his forearm. 
He shoots Jimin an eye roll. "All he talks about is Kim Seokjin this, Kim Seokjin that." Jungkook shrugs. "I really don't see what the big deal is about this guy."
Jimin crosses his arms sulkily and you have to stifle a laugh at the pair. "The big deal is that this date has to go well - no, perfect - because Seokjin needs to marry someone "parent approved" or else his father will reject him as the heir of his dynasty."
You want to ask him about his impressive eavesdropping abilities but you have to admit, this is pretty big news - especially around here where the latest hot gossip was Han Seojin's husband's gambling problem when he hit up the casino after a few too many brandy's.
"So basically, the fate of the resort lies in his hands tonight." Jimin adds excitedly as he slams the dishwasher closed with a triumphant grin.
You roll your eyes. That is surely a bit dramatic. The guy was probably too blinded by the riches he would be inheriting to care about the poor girl he was getting hitched too. "You're invested in this, huh?"
Jimin nods eagerly. "Like I said. He's hot. Like sex on legs hot."
If you weren't watching carefully you may have missed Jungkook's eyes narrowing slightly or the way he tenses and puffs out his chest. "Pfft. He is not."
"So is!" Jimin pouts. "You're just jealous you're not as inhumanely gorgeous as he is." Jungkook raises a brow and Jimin rushes to smooth over his words. "Not that you're not gorgeous! No, that's not what I mean—"
The awkward moment is interrupted by the sound of a ladle banging against a frying pan, and you let out a groan when you hear the unmistakable yell of the head chef. "Attention everyone!"
"Speaking of crazy people." Jimin mutters with a roll of his eyes, rolling up his uniform sleeves and wiping his forehead with the back of his hand as all the employees gather in the centre of the kitchen. "Looks like Hoseok got out of the wrong side of bed again."
You stifle a giggle when you find that Jimin is in fact correct, head chef Hoseok rounding the corner with an ever serious expression on his face. He has always been the stern type, mouth constantly fixed in a permanent frown as he criticises your dicing skills or catches you burning another steak, but you can see by the bluish bags under his eyes and the furrowed lines etched into his forehead that he means business today and a hush quickly falls over the kitchen apart from the gentle hiss of frying onions.
"As you all know, today is a big day for Paradise." He begins. "Each and every one of our future's here as employees depends on it. Mr. Kim has chosen us to cater for his dinner date and I need each and every one of you to do everything you can to make sure it goes smoothly. Capeesh?"
Dang. Is head chef Hoseok himself nervous? He's usually irritatingly confident in his cooking abilities. Maybe this was more serious than you thought...
"I'm counting on you guys to prove our worth, you hear me? It's already an honour that he picked us to host such an important event, and if we fumble who d'ya think he's gonna fire first once he takes over as CEO?" Hoseok interrupts your train of thought, waving a wooden spoon now like he's conducting an orchestra. "Which is why I expect zero funny business. I'm looking at you Jeon Jungkook! Now scram, we have customers to feed."
A unanimous groan fills the room as everyone gets back to work, and the kitchen falls into a state of turmoil as the clock ticks away, Seokjin due to arrive in a few hours and you haven’t even started on his appetizer yet.
"This better be worth it." You grumble to yourself, suppressing a smile when Jungkook bounds like a Labrador puppy into the restaurant fit  with an armful of salads yelling "Rabbit food coming up, y'all!", despite the stern look Hoseok sends his way.
You turn to Jimin, rolling your eyes at the hearts in his eyes for Jungkook as he strains his neck to get a glimpse of the chestnut haired boy's ass through the kitchen's window. He blushes when he notices you looking, but not before he’s flashing you a grin.
"Just wait until you see him," Jimin calls cheekily as you rush to the stove you had abandoned earlier. "Then you'll be glad you worked over time."
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As it turns out, you are not glad you worked overtime. Kim Seokjin is late. Unfashionably late. So late that you are considering eating the dish you slaved over for nearly an hour to perfect to his preferences only for him to let it go limp and cold.
At least you could add another trait to the list of what you now know about Kim Seokjin: filthy rich, (allegedy) goddamn hot, heir to the resort and most importantly douche bag who can't make it on time to the first date with his future wife.
To make matters worse, the level of unrest in the kitchens is unlike anything you have ever seen before as everyone nervously awaits his arrival. Jungkook has been out front to polish the wine glasses at the private table he set up and lovingly adorned with candles and a bottle of iced champagne of the expensive kind because it would "create sexy vibes" more times than you can count. Hoseok took extra care with the placement of the parsley on top of the steaks he grilled and you even saw Jimin fixing his hair in the reflection of a shiny pan.
When the clock ticked over to eight, everyone had gathered around the small kitchen window, eyes beadily trained to the door. 
"He'll be here any minute now, I can feel it." Jimin whispers as he sidles up beside you, practically vibrating. His excitement for the date has started to rub off on you, a funny fuzzy feeling settling in your chest — all this Kim Seokjin talk has you itching to see the guy in the flesh, even if it is just from behind the kitchen window.
Sure enough, Jimin's Kim Seokjin senses must be somewhat accurate because a hurried hush falls across the kitchen as a black car pulls up outside, a unanimous gasp filling the room as you watch him emerge from behind the tinted glass windows in awe.
You were waiting for a tight lipped guy in a suit and tie to step inside; a younger clone of all the middle aged men who frequented the resort when their "model" children got busted bunking off from golf games or whatever rich kids did to rebel. Except the guy that strolls through the sliding doors like he has time to waste is so far from the average Paradise resident that you are almost sure you're hallucinating. Or have onion in your eyes. Surely you aren't seeing this clearly?
The guy who crosses the threshold and takes a seat at the table Jungkook graciously guides him to is clad in a vibrant Hawaiian shirt, the floral a stark contrast to the luxe interior of the resort. The garment is unbuttoned lazily and draped across his broad shoulders, a pair of round,humorously large sunglasses perched on the end of his nose, and if you weren't so shocked by his...impressionable entrance you might find the whole situation comical.
"This is Kim Seokjin?" You splutter, unable to stop the giggles that leave your lips at the sight of him bobbing his head unnecessarily hard to the monotonous classical tune that carries through the restaurant, blatantly ignoring whatever words Jungkook (who looked completely starstruck) was stuttering.
The situation becomes even more ridiculous when you see the disgruntled look on the pretty girl who traipses behind him awkwardly, dressed in a floor length gown and pearls, face turning sour when Seokjin neglects his manners and forces her to pull her own chair out to sit while he zones in on the bottle of alcohol in the centre of the table.
They look like characters out of two separate worlds. Jewels glitter on her fingers as she taps them agitatedly against the table, clearly as dumbfounded by the situation as you are, especially when she offers her glass to Seokjin to pour her a drink, only for him to thrust the entire bottle of wine in her face.
Your attention is drawn away from the unfolding scene momentarily when Jungkook flies back into the kitchen in typical Jungkook fashion, except this time with an extra bout of zealousness if the stars in his eyes weren't already obvious.
"I take it back!" He puffs, slipping his empty tray beneath his elbow, hands now free to swing Jimin around in circles. "He's the most beautiful human I've ever seen!"
You cross your arms with a sneer. "Looks like a goof to me. That shirt? Not a good look on anyone."
"But his face!"
"Yeah, his face, covered by those obnoxious glasses."
"You didn't see it." Jungkook whispers, pulling your hands into his own. "He could end mankind with that kind of face! And I bet he has a monster dong too-"
"Okay, jeez." You push him away, scrunching your nose in disgust. "No discussing customer's monster dongs in the kitchen."
"So you admit he probably has one?"
"Shush!" You hiss. The kitchen huddle lets out a synchronised gasp and you elbow your way back to the window, peering past a tall chef's hat to fix your attention on the scene which had somehow escalated ten fold since you'd left it.
Seokjin's body is wracked with laughter, hand slamming down ferociously against the table, making his date wince every time the fine china jumps on the table cloth. Her hands are placed carefully atop the napkin in her lap, food untouched as Seokjin takes the liberty to pour himself another glass of wine. He looks utterly uninterested in anything she has to say, and she seems embarrassed by his mannerless behaviour, glancing around anxiously. The tension between them is suffocating, even from your safe distance, and you swear you could cut it with one of the knives hanging from the utensil rack.
Then, Seokjin leans in towards her. He removes his glasses, carefully tucking them neatly into his shirt pocket before resting his chin in his palm to stare at her intently.
Maybe he was finally taking an interest in her? She seems to think the same thing, a small smile creeping onto her face despite her awkward demeanour.
Until it slips from her face nearly as fast as it appeared, replaced by an expression of pure appalled horror when Seokjin whispers something into her ear. You can only see the back of his head so lip reading is out of the question; but if the way her chin drops into her lap was anything to go by, you have a feeling whatever he said was not something you wanted to hear on a first date and probably not from your future husband, either.
Without further ado, the girl throws her cutlery down with a clash, gathering the fabric of her dress and storming out of the restaurant in a manner that suggests the date went badly to say the least.
A ruckus has broken out in the kitchen by this point; Jimin and Jungkook stopping mid monster dong debate to gawk, a rumble of chatter erupting as everyone processes the events you had just witnessed.
What did he say? Do you think it was the steak? What does this mean for Paradise? Is he still gonna marry her?
The last one came from Jungkook and you couldn't help but bite your lip in an attempt to smother the laughter that threatened to spill at his question. "Somehow I don't think he proposed to her just then, Kook."
Your eyes zone in on Seokjin again. He is slumped back in his seat now, knuckles pressed to his eyes. He looks exhausted, a sudden change in demeanour considering this is the same guy who was shooting finger guns at his date a few moments ago. Now he just seems defeated
For a moment you think he is going to get up and leave. That is until he twists in his seat, motioning towards the kitchen window with a crook of the finger. Dessert? He mouths.
The kitchen staff disperse hurriedly, a tinge of red creeping up Hoseok's neck at being caught spying, although it is clear by the smirk on Seokjin's face that he knew you were watching him all along. There is something in his eyes that even has you wiping the amused expression of your face, though. An authority.
"Could this night have gone any worse?" You ask Jimin, referring to Seokjin's debacle. Except Jungkook is quick to interject, thrusting two black bags in your face with a grin.
"For you, yes. Your turn to take out the trash."
You blink at him a few times before reluctantly taking the bags from his grip. They were heavy, nearly making you stumble. How had Jungkook held them so easily?
"Fine." You manage to get out between gritted teeth, struggling to balance with the extra weight in your arms. "But you owe me."
"Oh believe me," There is a glint in Jungkook's eyes that you can't quite put your finger on. What was he up to? "I'll make it up to you sooner than you think."
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It's dimly lit when you stumble out back armed with a pile of trash bags, the only light source some fairy lights strung around the palm trees lining the restaurant. It takes all your strength and three tries to haul the heavy trash bags into the dark mouth of the dumpster and you're out of breath by the time you're finished.
Finally satisfied with your work, you wipe your hands on your apron and turn to stalk back inside and flick Jungkook's forehead - except a loud ringing from somewhere in the shadows stops you dead in your tracks.
You stiffen, hand reaching for the door handle as a precaution, head snapping towards the direction of the sound. You can't help the small gasp that leaves your lips when you take in the figure of a tall man leaning against the kitchen wall just a few meters away, the ringing ceasing when he lifts a phone to his ear with a frustrated groan.
Shit! As soon as you realise you're not alone and before you can think better of it you're scrambling behind the dumpster, crouching so that you're just out of view but still in earshot as the figure starts to murmur into the microphone.
"Yeah, dad, I know she flew all the way from Morocco to be here tonight. It's not my fault we weren't compatible!"
Huh? A voice squeaks on the other end of the line, and though you can't work out what they say exactly the frustrated sigh that leaves the man a few meters away tells you it wasn't exactly friendly.
"What makes you think you know what's best for me? I never wanted this stupid engagement in the first place!"
Intrigued and against your better judgement, you brace your hands on the edge of the dumpster and pull yourself on top of a cardboard box discarded beside it to get a better view of the scene. If you strain your neck you can just about see the shadow of a tall figure pacing back and forth just around the corner and you can't help but lean in a little closer to hear his harsh words more clearly, curiosity getting the better of you.
"Because it's my life! I'm sick of you and mom always telling me what to do with it." You raise an eyebrow, ever intrigued when the voice lifts from a hush to a yell. "Fine! I'll go on another date, but you'll see. I won't end up like you. You owe me big time for this, dad."
With that the phone call is cut off with a monotone beep and you see the shadow of the man pinch the bridge of his nose, sighing sharply, before the soles of his polished loafers crunch against the gravel in the direction of where you crouch, eavesdropping. You had enough experience with the residents here to know they wouldn't take this lightly — you had to sign a handful of NDA's before you even got the job, so naturally your eyes widen with panic when you realise you're about to get busted listening in on a confidential call. But before you can dive behind a trash bag and take cover, you lose your footing and find yourself hurtling head first into the dumpster, landing with a crash.
A few seconds pass, the footsteps ceasing as you squeeze your eyes shut and pray your beating heart doesn't give you away, before a voice calls out.
"Hello? Is someone there?"
"No!" You squeak hurriedly, slapping a hand over your mouth when it's already too late and flushing a deep shade of red when you hear a sharp intake of breath and you realise you've blown your own cover
You silently hope the guy will give up and leave, but then you hear someone climbing the outside of the dumpster and you open your eyes to see a puzzled pair of eyes peering down at you from beneath a cocked eyebrow, followed my a loud snort. "You need some help down there, sweetheart?"
This guy might be a total stranger, but any questioning words die on your tongue when you look around and remember you're literally trapped inside a dumpster and your upper arm strength is definitely not enough to get you out of this thing alone and — hold up, there's probably rats in here, right?
You scramble to your feet, brushing your messy hair from your eyes with a nervous laugh. "Uh...yeah. I guess I do."
A steady hand emerges over the edge of the dumpster and with a weak and embarrassed smile you grasp it, suppressing a squeak when the guy unexpectedly launches you over his shoulder so that he can pull you out in one fell swoop and set you safely on the ground.
"Uh, thanks." You manage to get out when you find your balance, awkwardly brushing some dirt from your apron. "Good thing you walked by when you did..."
"Yeah, guess you could call me your knight in shining armor, huh?" The guy chuckles, long and smooth like velvet. A laugh you've heard before, just moments ago in fact. That's when you battle through your embarrassment to look up and face him for the first time, flushing at the involuntary gasp that passes your lips.
The man before you has the deepest eyes you've ever seen, sharp yet soft around the edges beneath the sparkle of the low light and you shiver when they finish looking you up and down to stare into yours directly. Your eyes slip down to the familiar Hawaiian shirt draped over his broad shoulders, eyes widening when you look between your bodies to find his fingers still clasping your own as he eyes you with a curious interest.
"S-Seokjin?" You splutter. He nods, letting out a deeper chuckle this time as though he could hold it back no longer. "What are you doing out here?"
"I could ask you the same question," He counters, letting you go so he can reach into his pocket to retrieve a half pack of cigarettes and a lighter, ironically just beneath the unmissable NO SMOKING sign. "What's a pretty girl like you doing out here hauling trash at this hour?"
"I...work here."
He nods and you just stare at him like an open mouthed idiot. He must think it's because of the way he fiddles to spark a light at the end of his cigarette, drawing his eyes from the stick back to your surprised expression. "What? Oh these? I don't smoke. Stole these from my father's coat pocket." He shakes the box back and forth with a smug grin. "Nothing pisses him off more than loosing his Lucky Strikes. Besides, I own this place, I can do what I like."
You shrug. "Well, your father does." You are speaking too quickly, mentally pinching yourself for not being able to bite your own tongue. "He owns this place I mean. Right?"
A blush creeps up your neck under his gaze which narrows as he draws closer to you. His eyes are a deeper brown up close, like a pot of warm hot chocolate - soft at the edges where they crinkle into a smile at your rushed words. Nothing like the steely glares you usually got from residents here.
"Correct," The toe of his shoe kicks at the gravel beneath your soles while he strings together his next words carefully. "For now. I'll be proud owner of Paradise before the year is out, though."
"Ha." You can't help but snort under your breath, Seokjin's head simply tilting in response with an almost amused curiosity. "I don’t know about that. Didn't look like your fiance wanted to marry you very much."
"Word spreads quick around here, huh?" He lets out a dark laugh, grimacing at the cloud of nicotine that floats away into the nigh from the cigarette between his fingers that flutters to the gravel before it’s even reached his lips. You wince when he uses the toe of his Balenciaga’s to stub it out into a pile of smoldering ash before reaching for another one that he lights in the same way as before. "She wasn't my fiance, actually.To be honest, I hadn't even met her before tonight."
You let out an awkward laugh. "I take it the wedding's off then?"
"Ha ha," You practically hear the roll of his eyes. "At least one of us finds this funny, because my father sure as shit won't." His tone is suddenly chilly and for a moment you think you offended him, though a quick scan of his face reveals a turn up of the mouth that says otherwise. He kicks off from the wall, slinging his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans and you swallow thickly as the safe distance between you grows ever smaller, so close you can smell his woody cologne. "It was never on, per se. And it never will be if I have anything to do with it."
You can't help but scoff at the way he tightens his jaw and throws his arms across his chest like a toddler in time out. Sure, you hardly knew the guy but something about his attitude rubs you the wrong way. This is the guy who has everything, yet he's trash talking his lavish lifestyle to a summer employee? 
"You're kind of an asshole, huh?"
"Can't say I haven't heard that one before." Seokjin agrees with a smirk. "But you don't seem like much of an angel yourself. First I find you eavesdropping on me, save your ass from a dumpster and then you choose to insult me?"
You shift awkwardly under his intense gaze, worried you might have overstepped, mouth dry as you spit out a response. "I...I didn't mean it like that—"
"God, chill out would you? I’m kidding. You're so stiff it's stressing me out." His tongue snakes out to lick his lips thoughtfully. "You're different, y'know."
"Huh?"
"I can tell you're not like everyone else around here. You're honest." Seokjin explains, unbuttoning the top button of his shirt to allow him some more breathing room as he continues. "Everyone around here is either a liar or a cheat. Or both."
"You don't even know me." You huff.
"You don’t know me either, princess.” Seokjin smirks. “So what makes you so sure I'm an asshole?."
He blinks at you eagerly, and you realise he's serious when he arrogantly waves his hand for you to go ahead and indulge him, like he's somewhat amused.
Well damn. If this guy wanted honesty you'd sure as shit give it to him
"You want the truth?" You suck in a deep breath. "I don't know what I expected when I heard the buzz about you but it certainly wasn't a rich guy who wears hawaiian shirts and makes girls cry on first dates. I don’t need to know a single thing about you to know that you’re an ungrateful asshole, just like everyone else at this resort."
A few seconds pass, Seokjin's eyes widening in momentary surprise like he wasn't used to people telling him the truth, before his face breaks out into a beaming grin. "I have a feeling we're going to be good friends." He glances at your name tag. "Y/N, is it?"
You half nod before you register his words. "Friends, what do you mean—?"
Just then the phone in his grip starts to vibrate violently, and he holds it up so you can see the bold DAD that lights up the screen.
"Sorry to cut this short pretty, but I need to take this. Better get back to work before I cut your pay check, sweetheart." You must look visibly nervous because he bursts into laughter. "What? I'm kidding, remember?"
You roll your eyes, hiding the way your face heats up by spinning on your heels and storming back towards the kitchen, pausing briefly before you can turn the handle when you hear Seokjin call your name.
"Hey. Wait up! One piece of advice. Don't let this place, get to you, okay?" Seokjin calls with a smile. "I like your honesty, it's...refreshing."
And with that he lifts the phone to his ear, disappearing around the shadowy corner with an irritating smile and a finger salute.
For some funny reason, Seokjin's words ring out in your head for the rest of the night. I have a feeling we're going to be good friends. Something tells you that isn't the last time you're going to see Kim Seokjin, and you can't tell if the way your heart skips a beat is a good thing or not.
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Much to your surprise, that isn't the last time you see Kim Seokjin.
The next night he returned equally as late and equally as eccentrically dressed and left his date, blonde this time, (though equally as pretty as the last one) flustered and red in the face as she stormed out of the restaurant with glassy eyes and crushed dreams
The night after that you spot him arguing a little too loudly with a feisty lady outside the restaurant, the way he doesn't even stay long enough to finish his champagne a clear indication that the date went less than perfect.
Night after night, the same scenario played out with different unimpressed women, until finally, they just stopped coming. No more girls. No more dates. No more of Seokjin's signature laughter permeating the entire restaurant. Sure, the guy was a complete asshole, that much was clear; but you his absence left the restaurant feeling even more lifeless than before.
Obviously Seokjin's fucked up dating life wasn’t anything to laugh about. But you had to admit his antics put a smile on your face, something which had been few and far between as of late. Even when Hoseok was working you overtime, you found yourself biting your lip to suppress a grin every time Seokjin waltzed through the door. And now he was gone, and with it your small escape from reality.
"Do you think his parents finally gave up?" Jimin sighs one late evening, shaking his wet hands in the face of Jungkook who bats him away playfully.
"Nah, he probably just found a girl he likes." Jungkook reasons. "Made his parents see things from his point of view."
You snort. "They don't sound like the type of parents who would give up that easy." After more dates than you could count on one hand with various suitors deemed good enough for their son, it was clear they were prepared for him to rebel. You doubted they would give in without a fight.
"You might be right..." Jungkook trails off, rushing to smush his face against the window. "Unless...wait! I think he's back!"
"He's back?" You breathe, elbowing Jungkook out of the way and ignoring his ow! of protest, your own breath fogging up the glass now as your eyes dart from table to table in search of a familiar face.
You let out a breathy laugh. Sure enough, there he is. Hair gelled back tonight you noted, bouncing his skinny jean clad knee beneath the table with an impatience you can't quite put your finger on.
Wait...
"Ha!" You almost do a double take. Seokjin is sat alone tonight. No nearly-crying-twenty-something across from him. Just Seokjin with a single flute of champagne in his hand opposite an utterly empty chair.
Well. This is new.
"I think he's been stood up!" You lower your voice to a whisper when your burst of laughter gains a few strange looks. "There's no girl with him this time."
"What?" Jimin splutters, standing on his tip toes in an attempt to see over your shoulder. "No girl?! Let me see!"
You budge over and Jimin lets out a gasp of surprise when he takes in the scene for himself. "The Kim Seokjin got stood up. I can't believe it!"
"Maybe he's getting a taste of his own medicine." You muse.
A mischievous look crosses Jungkook's features and then he is pulling on his black apron and scurrying towards the door. "Let's find out!"
"What? — Jungkook!"
You watch open mouthed as Jungkook approaches the lonely table, fingers quivering around the order notebook he clutches like a safety blanket, with nerves or excitement you can't quite tell; before he exchanges a few words with Seokjin who barely even glances up, lazily folding a napkin in his lap. Jungkook nods vigorously before he speed walks back to the kitchen like his life depends on it, a smug grin appearing on his lips as he thrusts the order slip towards you.
"Two orders of sirloin steak, medium! Pronto!"
"Two?" You and Jimin splutter in unison.
Jungkook looks amused. Too amused for your liking.
"Yup! And guess what?" Jimin is hanging off his every word, desperate pleas of what? making Jungkook chuckle harder. "He wants the chef to serve it."
You narrow your eyes. "Hoseok? Why?"
Jungkook scoffs as if you're being clueless on purpose. "Not Hoseok, idiot!"
"Then who?"
"You." Jungkook points a finger right at you.
"Me? Wait! Jeon Jungkook, you get back here!" Before you can ask questions he is already bounding into the restaurant like a labrador on crack.
"Have fun!" He yells over his shoulder with a wink. "You'll thank me later, Y/N."
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Half an hour later and you're stood with two steaming plates balanced on your arm. Why are you so nervous? All you have to do is go out there and serve the food. It's not like he was asking you to kill someone.
But every time you muster up the courage to go out there you remember your encounter with Seokjin outside the kitchens, and you instantly feel weak at the knees.
You smooth down your apron one last time, filling your lungs with the stuffy kitchen air before Jimin's hands clamp onto your shoulders and steer you towards the door.
"What are you—?" One forceful push later and you're stumbling out into the restaurant. "Jimin!"
"You can do this!" You hear Jimin call, the exasperated look you send over your shoulder in response prompting a not so reassuring thumbs up. The way your eyes downturn into a dark glare makes him collapse into a fit of gasps and giggles as he nods for you to keep going.
I'm going to get him back for this...
The table Seokjin liked to frequent is closest to the window, view casting out over the lake which the resort surrounds like a half moon, terribly modern in all it's white pillared glory in contrast to the natural beauty of the clear blue water. The lake is darkened now with the reflection of the midnight blue sky, the soft glow of lanterns lighting up the path around it and illuminating the picture of weeping willows which ripples across the water's surface, disturbed only by canoeists tying up their boats for the evening.
Seokjin doesn't seem interested in the quiet goings on of the resort. He has probably seen them a hundred times before. His back is facing you but you can see how his eyes are transfixed on the sliding entrance doors in the windows reflection. It was late evening and most people would be returning to their suites for the night by now, but Seokjin's steely gaze remains unwavering, like he's expecting it to zip open any minute. Is he waiting for someone?
Some part of you feels sympathetic. It doesn't look like anyone is coming to join him any time soon. Poor guy is about to get a taste of his own medicine and look like a fool sat opposite an empty chair harbouring a plate of uneaten food.
Ha. It's exactly what he deserves, you think. Karma.
Every step towards him feels heavier than the last until eventually you find yourself stood with knees knocking right behind him, food probably going cold with every second you spend coaxing yourself to man up and face him. You silently pray he won't hear the pound of your heart over the low hum of chatter and scrapes of cutlery against china plates that seem to fall away to silence in this corner of the restaurant where it's just Seokjin and you.
You're debating spinning on your heels and making Jungkook do it instead when Seokjin's unrelenting stare at the door snaps up to meet yours in the window's reflection, the authority in his eyes enough to have you hiding behind your hair in shame at being caught dwindling like an idiot.
"I wasn't expecting you to actually come." His voice is a deep hum that makes you jolt and nearly drop the plates. A heat burns your cheeks when Seokjin swirls the champagne in his glass amusedly, facing you with his forearm on the back of his seat and beckoning for you to set the plates down with a nod of his head. An order.
You narrow your eyes, unable to curb the irritation that laces your sigh as you obey him. You set down the dishes, one in front of him and the other in front of the seat still empty of whomever he is expecting. "I wasn't exactly expecting to be serving you tonight either. I usually just prepare the food."
Seokjin doesn't miss the roll of your eyes, snorting at the shake of your hand that gives away the anxiety beneath your front when crystal beads of champagne splash onto the immaculate table cloth as you try to top up his glass.
"Yeah and here's a reason for that. You're a shit waitress."
The way you slam the bottle down onto the table top is a little too aggressive, the legs shaking violently and drawing the eyes of a few of the surrounding diners who wipe their mouths with a delicate astonishment and flash you dark looks at the disturbance.
"Are we done? If I'm so bad then why did you call me out here?"
"Actually, I wanted to talk to you." His fingers fold the napkin in his lap carefully. He settles back into his chair with a grin laced with mischief while you practically hop from foot to foot with nerves. "Would you sit for a second?"
"I'm an employee." You raise a brow. "I don't think that's appropriate..."
"Please?" He rests his chin in his palms.
You hug your torso and self consciously glance side to side. With a roll of your eyes you sink down into the chair, if a little reluctantly, when you're sure the couple at the table directly opposite are too deep in conversation about the crème brûlée to notice the strange encounter happening beside them.
"Fine! But make it quick or Hoseok might actually shave my head."
Seokjin gets straight to the point. "I need you to do something for me."
There is a glint in his eye as he snatches up the glass intended for the rightful occupant of the leather cushion you perch on, pouring a small amount of champagne into the flute and pushing it towards you with an encouraging nod. You observe the fizzing liquid with caution, turning your nose up at the floral aroma. Was he trying to poison you with Veuve Clicquot?
"Okay, elaborate?"
"I'm going to need you to pretend to be my date." You wait for him to laugh but his lips are pressed together in a line that tell you he is being serious. "You up for it?"
"Excuse me?" An astonished laugh punctuates your widened eyes, voice raising incredulously at his request. "Your what?"
"Hear me out!" Seokjin hisses, holding a finger to his lip to quiet you down when you splutter on the air that feels like it's thickening in your throat. "I just need to get my father off my back. It'll be five minutes tops!"
By this point you are rendered speechless, pinching the inside of your thigh to check if you are trapped in some weirdly vivid nightmare.
You? His date? Oh god...why aren't you waking up?
Your lips curl around a single breathless word. "Why?"
"Hello, I'm Kim Seokjin? Dad owns the resort? Need to get married to inherit it? I thought we went over this the other day—"
Throwing your arms over your chest impatiently, you click your tongue. "I remember idiot! I mean why me?"
"For fucks sake — you want the truth?" He chuckles but it's devoid of any humour. "You're new around here so my father is less likely to recognise you, okay?" He downs the rest of his glass, picks up his fork and pokes the cold steak on his plate restlessly, hardly bothering to look you in the face even when you scoff in disbelief.
You bite your lip, voice quiet. "Is this some sort of game?"
You are no stranger to Seokjin's tricks — you watched them play out with your own eyes, more girls than you could count on one hand leaving the restaurant in tears or worse — and something feels funny in your stomach, an instinct that says he has an ulterior motive you just can't put your finger on.
From the corner of your eye you spot Hoseok poking his head into the dining area, eyes merciless as they scan the room in search of you, the tell tale tap of his foot against the ground a giveaway of his growing impatience which makes you duck out of view in fear.
"If this is just one of your sick jokes then congrats," You deadpan. "I could literally lose my job over this."
"What? No!" He seems genuinely surprised at your accusation, exasperated sigh sounding desperate while his eyes bore into yours with a look that says please. "I'll explain everything. Please?"
He winces when your chair scrapes loudly against the tile as you get to your feet with a disbelieving shake of your head. "Sorry but I have a job to do—"
Suddenly Seokjin lets out a gasp and you hear the automatic glass doors zip open. "Ah shit!"
Seokjin's eyes widen with panic but before you can twist to see who has arrived for yourself, you're being pulled back down into the seat opposite him roughly by the elbow.
"What the hell are you doing?"
Seokjin isn't listening, shrugging his jacket down his arms and wrapping the fabric around your shoulders hastily. "Cover your uniform, okay?"
The smell of his expensive cologne fills your senses and a warm hand squeezes your shoulder pleadingly, the glint in his eye replaced with desperation.
For a moment you falter and his face brightens, believing you to be finally convinced. Until you come back to your senses and slap his hand away. "Get off me!"
"Too late." Seokjin murmurs, but before you can shoot him a questioning glance a pair of polished black shoes stop beside you. Your entire body stiffens, aware of a pair of eyes probing the back of your head.
Oh no.
"Seokjin."
An unfamiliar deep voice rumbles beside you and when you dare to look up you're met with the peering face of an older man who you recognise from the Paradise website. There are traces of Seokjin visible in the curve of his mouth and the sharp edge of his jaw and he was probably considered good looking in his youth.
Ah. So this is Mr Kim?
"You lasted longer than fifteen minutes. This must be a new record, son."
Despite their likeness it's hard to believe they are father and son -- the stern frown keeping a pair of thin framed glasses balancing on Seokjin’s father’s nose along with his crisp tailored suit a far cry from the boy sat cross legged opposite you, wine colored shirt unbuttoned too far to be a mistake.
Seokjin plasters a false grin to his mouth and raises his glass towards Mr Kim, as if to toast. "I told you I would try didn't I?"
Mr Kim says nothing, averting his intimidating gaze to you instead. Your mouth dries when he addresses you directly. "What was your name again?"
Shit! Alarm bells sound in your head, instantly regretting coming out here in the first place and getting mixed up in Seokjin's mess.
You swallow thickly, hardly daring to look him in the eye. "It's — uh," Seokjin is signalling at you with an alarmed look, face falling into his palms with a muffled groan when you fail to catch on.  "Y-Y/N. I'm Y/N."
"Is it now?" Mr Kim scratches his chin thoughtfully, humming to himself as he studies your face. Shit, does he recognise you from the kitchen? Are you about to get fired? Your pulse goes into overdrive when his eyes narrow. "I'm sure I remember it being something like—"
"Her middle name!" Seokjin quickly butts in, cutlery clattering onto his plate in his haste to gain his fathers attention. "She goes by her middle name. We were just talking about it actually. Right, Y/N?"
All eyes fall on you again, Seokjin sending you a pleading look, but you don't trust your voice not to waver so you just nod and hide your rosy cheeks by wrapping your lips around rim of the untouched champagne glass.
"Funny middle name." He shrugs, landing an audible slap to Seokjin's back who winces at the hard contact. Mr Kim's eyes seem kinder as they look between you. "I'm proud of you, son. I'm glad you could finally see things from our perspective."
"Sure, dad." Seokjin shrinks away from his fathers touch with a look of distaste. "Now would you do us a favor and leave us to discuss...marriage things?" You choke on your mouthful of bubbly, eyes watering as you try to hold back a spluttering cough.
Thankfully, Mr Kim is already losing interest, flashing Seokjin a thumbs up before striding over to one of the waiters holding a platter of coconut shrimp appetizers and taking a handful for himself.
Watching him gain a safe distance and disappear among a circle of business men at the bar, you finally feel safe to let out the shaky breath you were holding. Seokjin presses his knuckles to his eyes, the vein in his neck protruding with tension.
"What the fuck was that?" He seems to have forgotten your presence, lost in his own thoughts until you rip his jacket from where it sits around your shoulders and throw it into his lap with contempt. Your laugh of disbelief sounds foreign to your own ears, unable to comprehend what actually just happened.
"You're crazy!" You let out breathlessly. "I'm out of here."
Before you can storm off like you want to, Seokjin's hand closes around your wrist and pins you in place.
"Listen, I know you think this is ridiculous but I'm literally about to get on my knees and beg you here. Just do me one more favour." You shoot him a glare and for a second you think he might actually drop to the ground and grovel if you asked him to. "Just one!"
No matter how hard you try to pull away Seokjin is persistent. "Why should I?"
"Because you have a conscience?" He pleads. "The human desire to help others in need?"
"This is crazy—"
"I'll repay you!"
You pause. "How?"
"Undecided." His head tilts in thought. "You need money?"
Disgust courses through your veins. This guy thinks he can buy you? You have encountered some entitled rich guys at Paradise but this has to be the icing on the cake, an unbelievable disconnect from acceptable social discourse — though are you surprised? He doesn't exactly have a reputation for being a good conversation holder for fucks sake, just ask his other dates.
You scoff. "I don't accept bribes. I think we're done here. Good luck with your plan or...whatever."
"Y/N wait—" Something in his voice makes you stop dead this time. An authority. No longer pleading but commanding. "I'll fire you myself right here if you don't help me out just once."
Your heart twists. Part of you knows that whatever Seokjin has in mind will be batshit crazy, if his antics tonight were anything to judge by. It would pain you to do something so demeaning but...you need this job. The decision was practically made for you.
You swivel to face him. He is standing over you now, hands on hips as if he means business. "One favor! That's it!"
He punches the air triumphantly. "You want it in writing or something?" He teases, the glint in his eye back now and taunting as you practically vibrate with a combination of embarrassment and rage.
"Don't push it." You warn. 
"Okay, jeez." He throws his hands up in defense. You are acutely aware of the hysterical giggles coming from the kitchen belonging to none other than Jungkook and Jimin and the way your face burns scarlet as you storm away from Seokjin with fists clenched. "I'll let you know when I need you, sweetheart."
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09:04, from unknown: — 10 o clock. meet me outside the archery court. — go to locker 16, key will be in the lock. you'll find everything you need inside
The light of your phone stings your half-open eyes, slumber still clinging to your body as you rub away any remnants of sleep with your knuckles and re-read the strange text over and over again.
Archery? An accidental text to the wrong number, surely?
You glance at the clock next to your bed - the text was sent over twenty minutes ago by now. Whoever the recipient was supposed to be wouldn't have long to get ready.
09:26, you: — huh? who is this?
Before you can even set your phone down and swing your legs out of bed your phone pings, the sound enough to make you wince in your sleepy state.
09:26, unknown: — it's seokjin??? — you know, the guy you're supposed to be marrying?
Excuse you?
All remnants of sleep and/or inner peace are ripped away as soon as you see his name pop up on your homescreen.
"Seokjin?" You splutter out loud. A name you never thought you would have to see again, let alone at this time in the morning.
You scramble into a sitting position, back pressed to the headboard as you grip your bed hair in pure disbelief. The three little dots bounce menacingly at the bottom of the screen as you type and re-type a response. Eventually you settle on something simple and to the point:
09:28, you: — how the fuck did you get this number???
Ping ping. You resist a face palm as you gather the confidence to input your password and read whatever bullshit Seokjin responded with.
09:29, unknown: — i think you're forgetting i own this place — not to brag but ive got connections — anyway, you have half an hour to get your ass over here before my sister arrives.
As you thought - utter bullshit. His sister? It's almost as if Seokjin thinks you are actually dating - or even worse, actually getting hitched.
Wait...he doesn't...does he? You suppress a groan. Why else would he be dragging you out of your apartment to go and shoot arrows at targets with his sister instead of polishing his golf club collection or lounging with self made millionaires or whatever rich things rich guys do.
You are just here to get some culinary experience. To blend into the background like the rest of the employees at Paradise, to focus on making the lives of CEO's and retired business men as easy and as luxurious as possible. Why on earth is he even taking notice of you?
09:30, you: — your sister??
09:30, unknown: — yeah? who'd you think you were arching with? — i don't do sports. — count yourself lucky my mom had to take a rain check
Fuck. His mom?
"Get a grip!" You chastise yourself. You had barely spoken two words to each other before the other night, his existence unbeknownst to yours let alone yours to his; the exchange itself a glitch in the simulation and definitely not something which you wanted to make a habit - so why are you instilled with nerves at the thought of meeting this guy's family?
You don't have time to respond with a harsh reminder of your respective positions at Paradise and why this is absolutely a Bad Idea before Seokjin sends a series of reassuring follow up texts, almost as though he read your mind and all it's reluctant thoughts.
09:32, unknown: — don't worry so much this is just to make people think we're really seeing each ohter — other* — hurry, can't have people thinking my future wife isn't punctual — doesn't look good for the reputation 😎
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck!
This is actually happening. How did you manage to get roped into some rich dudes family drama and his consequent plan of deception? And why on earth you fly out of bed, desperately trying to pat down your fly away bed hair while simultaneously shrugging on a pair of jeans is utterly beyond you.
But deep down you know why. It's because you have a sympathy for Seokjin. A goddamn sympathy for the man who seemingly had everything and who every other resident at Paradise wished they could be.
You are increasingly aware of the way your heart hammers against your rib cage, pulse quickening with every tick of the clock that brings you closer to 10 o clock. Not because you're about to see Seokjin again, surely?
Pfft. Of course not! This is just a favour - a formality as an acquaintance if you could even call yourself that.
The clock ticks over to 09:40. No, you promise yourself as you scoop up your bag and your keys. It's doesn’t mean anything, it’s just because you hate being late.
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You end up being late anyway, despite rushing to Paradise from your nearby apartment without so much as considering breakfast and somehow managing to gather the courage to open the door to the women's locker room.
Embarrassment pools in your stomach when you feel the quizzical eyes of Paradise regulars burning into your back over the edges of their martini glasses. It takes all your strength to pass by them with your eyes trained to your shoes, hoping to seem unbothered by their towel turbans and gossiping lips.
You’re unsure why you feel so out of place. It's not as if you are trespassing; they gave you a benefits card when you accepted the job, giving you access to some of the resort's facilities. Some would say it was generous, but it's not as if you ever had a chance to use them in between long kitchen shifts.
Luckily, you doubt there's a risk of them recognising you from the kitchen. The resort is mostly populated by younger club members and besides it's not as if they ever cared to study your face for long enough to commit it to memory.
Still, your casual sweater and jeans combo makes you stand out like a sore thumb in a room full of designer polo shirts and athletic wear and you can't suppress the sigh of relief that escapes you when you make it past a hoard of already merry day drinkers on their way to a hot yoga class in search of locker 16 as instructed by Seokjin.
Sure enough, a key sits snugly in the lock. When you open the metal door you find a tennis skirt with a matching polo shirt, both folded neatly beneath a pair of strikingly white sneakers.
You scoop the pile into your arms, surprised when a card flutters to the ground. You recognise the Paradise logo in the corner, an unfamiliar handwritten scrawl smudged across the front in black pen.
Put these on and meet me round the back of the range. I'll be waiting. - SJ
You roll your eyes. Would it kill him to say please? Not that he is used to asking nicely. Manners are few and far between when things are handed to you on a silver platter (or by an underpaid kid with a summer job). At least that's what you gathered from your observations since you got here.
You slip into the white ensemble, silently thanking the you from yesterday for shaving your legs when you notice just how uncomfortably short the skirt is. The fabric smells like one of those expensive perfumes you sprayed at the store once and you briefly wonder who these clothes belong to.
Fastening your hair into a high pony tail like you see the other girls here do, you take a deep breath and finally sidle up to the full body mirror.
Almost everyone has filtered out of the locker room by now, some to spa appointments, others to sports matches and you find yourself alone, nearly choking on the humid air when you take in your appearance for the first time.
You look like you belong here.
Collar popped around your neck, skirt falling in perfect pleats around your waist, hair falling against your cheekbones. Not a speck of dirt on the branded shoes cushioning your soles.
For a moment you feel a sense of pride fill your chest, head resting high on your shoulders as you bask in the confidence that washes over you until you feel giddy with belonging.
Until you remember what you really are. An imposter.
Despite your Paradise inspired appearance you are nothing but a fake. A smudge on one of the picture perfect Paradise postcard's in the gift shop.
Your shoulders deflate, the sudden urge to tug your sweater back on and run as fast as you can becoming overwhelming.
Your let yourself slump onto one of the plush couches, head falling into your hands. What are you doing here? Letting some guy dress you up like a doll and show you off to save his own ass?
Besides, his family would see through you as soon as you walked out there. After all a polished stone, although pretty, can never be a diamond. And these people know diamonds like the back of their hands.
Is it because he has the authority to fire you from the kitchen job you worked so hard to get? Or is it because somewhere deep inside you are curious to see what could be in this for you?
A vibration on the couch beside you draws you from your thoughts.
10:09, unknown: — where r u????? — you know where the range is right???
God, why didn't you just say no in the first place?
"Just get on with it," you tell yourself sternly. Meet his sister, smile politely and leave without owing Kim Seokjin a single thing.
You will save his ass, buy him the time he needs to convince his parents to get off his back. And then you can go back to your culinary uniform and back to serving up lobster to rich people and you can forget this ever happened and that he so much as exists.
With a shaky breath you get to your feet, throwing your familiar clothes into the locker along with your comfort zone and what feels like your entire identity.
If this is going to work you couldn't think like Y/N, you realise. You have to think like a Paradise country club member. And luckily for you, your careful observation of other residents from the kitchen gives you quite a lot of material to work with.
Before you can second guess yourself you're taking a deep breath and striding out of the locker room door and into the sunny resort grounds.
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Oh god. I'm really doing this. You suddenly feel exposed as you pass the golf court, just managing to dodge a rattling cart before it flattened you.
A pair of girls stroll past with arms interlinked, tennis rackets swinging at their sides leisurely as they make their way to the course.
Oh god. They're gonna see through you. Oh god. Just smile!
You let the corners of your mouth curve up into the closest thing to a smile you can muster, pleased when you earn a friendly nod in greeting before they dive back into their conversation again.
Nobody is noticing. You hold your head high, telling your shoulders to relax and look natural. You can do this.
You reach the range but instead of following the group of middle aged men ahead of you up to the front entrance, you slip round the back. Your eyes land on him instantly; none other than Kim Seokjin, leaning impatiently against the wall, just like he said he would be.
His appearance is enough to have you faltering in your tracks. Unlike the last time you saw him when he donned a much less flattering eye sore of a Hawaiian shirt, he's put together from head to toe - white button up tucked into a pair of tailored trousers, brown loafers showing off his ankles, the whole outfit finished off by a knit sweater tied around his shoulders.
"Wow." You can't help it. You're starting to see why he had a reputation for being particularly easy on the eye.
You swallow thickly, shaking the stunned feeling from your head and ignoring the way your heart beats a little faster the closer you draw to him.
"Finally!" Seokjin hums as he lets out a frustrated huff, eyes glued to the Rolex on his wrist. "Where have you been-"
His breath hitches when he finally looks up and takes you in for the first time. You were surely imagining the way his eyes widen and look you up and down. Right?
"Well well," Seokjin regains his self control quickly, licking his lips. "Someone scrubs up well."
Smartass. "To my credit you've only ever seen me in my work clothes."
"Touché." He purses his lips. "Nobody could make those hats look good. Except me, obviously."
There is that glint in his eye again. As if he is messing with you to get you riled up again. If he wasn't the Kim Seokjin you'd mistake him as flirtatious.
You hug your torso, confidence dwindling with every second you stand beneath Seokjin's probing gaze, anxious to get out onto the range before it dissipates completely. "So? Are we just gonna stand here?"
"You turn up late and then have the audacity to order me around?" His eyebrows furrow and for a second you think he's going to warn you. Remind you who has the power here.
But then his face breaks out into an amused smirk and you let out the breath you didn't know you were holding. "Remember when I said I think you and I are going to get along just fine?"
Seokjin slings his hands into his pockets, striding towards the back door of the facility. He shakes the handle before using his key card to let you both into the archery equipment lodge.
You trail behind him. "Don't get too comfortable," You warn. "This is a one time thing."
Seokjin muses over a selection of crossbows in display cases before fishing in his pocket for a key, unlocking the glass and taking down two flashy ones. He grabs a quiver loaded with arrows from a stand and thrusts both into your arms without warning.
"Sure." He is slinging a quiver over his own shoulder now. He holds open the door to the archery range, gesturing for you to go first. So now he has manners? "If you say so."
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The archery range is an expanse of perfectly pruned green grass, surrounded by the breathtaking scenery of fragrant rose bushes and trailing ivy that the resort boasts. And, as you're learning, an excuse for refreshments, as you find yourself now in a fancy veranda bar with high arching windows that overlook the distant targets, serving chilled lemonade and Prosecco and appetisers on fancy napkins.
"Pretty cool, right?" Seokjin asks, resting his elbows on the windowsill and smirking at your speechlessness and open mouthed expression. "But quit looking so surprised, yeah? You gotta make my sister think this is normal for you."
You don't have time to ask what he means before you are being spun around and engulfed in a hug. You freeze, sucking in a breath of surprise, the sickly smell of fancy shampoo engulfing your senses as your face is pushed into a head of perfect ringlets.
"You must be Y/N." The person, a woman, purrs into your ear. "It's good to finally meet you." The way she draws out the word makes you nervous.
This is Seokjin's sister?
Something about it doesn't feel how a hug is supposed to. Instead it feels like a silent interrogation. Are you good enough to be one of us? Nothing about it is warm. Instead it's sticky, your hands patting her back awkwardly, counting the seconds in your head until it is acceptable to pull away from her stiff hold.
When she lets go you are met with the tight lipped smile of a pretty twenty something, eyes scanning your face from beneath a sun visor. A customised hot pink quiver drapes across her shoulder and you notice the way she eyes your borrowed equipment distastefully.
"That would be me." You force a smile that ends up being a little too wide, glancing nervously at Seokjin who simply nods  in encouragement. "It's good to...finally meet you too?"
She holds you at arms length, giving you a once over before speaking tightly. "Well aren't you a doll?"
You must look as terrified as you feel because her eyebrows raise triumphantly. Seokjin senses the tension. He looks between the two of you almost worriedly, searching your face for any sign of discomfort. For a second you think his concern is kind of sweet...No! Not allowed.
"No hug for me?" Seokjin swoops in and his sister's features harden at his sarcastic tone, a punch landing on his shoulder which he pretends to rub better, emitting a small ow!
"You're late."
"Sorry Hyejin, couldn't find my best shoes." Seokjin throws an arm around your shoulders, pulling you from her grasp a little protectively and flashing an award winning smile that makes your heart flip...No! Definitely not allowed.
"Those are your best shoes?" She grimaces, shaking her head with an air of disappointment. "You left me waiting here for half an hour for those?" Her eyes narrow at you accusingly, as if she knows the truth and wants you to offer an apology.
Seokjin is quick to save you again. "Yup. All my fault. Shall we shoot?"
"Gladly." She smooths down a stray curl, studying her reflection in the glass windows. "I've been itching to see Y/N's aim since I got here. I hear you are a pro, no?"
You choke. A pro?
Luckily she's already stalking across the deck in her click-clacking wedges and out onto the damp green grass, missing the panicked glance shared between yourself and Seokjin.
"Uh-"
"Um-"
Seokjin shrugs his shoulders. Think of something, he mouths.
She stops dead, shooting a puzzled glance over her shoulder. "Well are you?"
"Not exactly-" You start.
"I think you're thinking of one of the other...candidates, Hyejin." Seokjin says carefully. He places his palm at the small of your back. The gesture was probably just for show but it comforts you none the less.
"I'm sure she's just being modest." She says to Seokjin, but she's looking right at you. Her forefinger taps against her palm and you can almost see the puzzle pieces falling together in her head before her expression smooths out and you let out a sigh of relief. "So. Shall we?"
Seokjin nods sheepishly. Hyejin slings an arrow into her bow with the ease of an expert, Seokjin quickly following suit. And it is in that moment, as you watch them shoot equally as precise shots to the centre of their respective targets, that it dawns on you. You have never shot a bow and arrow in your life.
"Let's see just how good you are." Hyejin steps back, offering you the main stage. You squint at the targets in the far distance, the rings blurring into one. How on earth did they make hitting those things look so easy?
"Sure thing." You wince at the strain in your voice as you fumble to pull an arrow from your quiver, fingers shaking as you try to sling it into the bow.
You can do this..
You lift the bow, close your eyes and hope for the best when you let go of the arrow, watching as it flies a short distance before sticking upright in the dirt just short of the target.
Cheeks scarlet, you glance at Hyejin who looks positively horrified. "When you said not exactly good I wasn't expecting you to be so...inexperienced. No personal trainer?" She muses, eyeing you quizzically, to which you shoot her an embarrassed smile in confirmation. "Anybody would think it was your first time!" You sheepishly giggle along to the hearty chuckle she enjoys at the mere thought, spluttering when her face suddenly darkens "It's not right?"
You freeze. "Uhhh..."
"It's just nerves," Seokjin insists, palms clamping your shoulders and thrusting you forward again. "She's probably just shitting it because you're watching."
"Language!" Hyejin scolds, letting the roll of Seokjin's eyes slip when she sees you fiddling with another arrow.
This time you prepare the bow with ease, a bout of confidence washing over you as you make eye contact with Seokjin over the top of the bow you raise to your shoulder. His eyes soften slightly and he offers an encouraging nod as you squint at the target and shoot the arrow straight into the centre ring.
You're momentarily shocked at your own abilities before Seokjin is letting out a genuinely impressed hoot, his hand coming between you to offer a sly high five unbeknownst to Hyejin. A silent congratulations for not completely fucking up.
"Pretty good." Hyejin nods, looking genuinely impressed, and you give yourself a silent pat on the back.
Holy shit. This is really working! She believes you belong here!
"Although I'm not sure where father got the idea of professional from with that technique," She lowered her voice, clearly only intending for Seokjin to hear the last part despite you standing beside her. "I must admit her figure seems better suited to tennis anyway..."
Or not. Maybe you still have some work to do...
Hyejin seems in a hurry to get to the next target, and Seokjin hangs back to whisper in your ear before you follow.
"Congrats," He hums with a smirk. "You fit right in. Welcome to Paradise, Y/N."
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The next forty five minutes pass quicker than you expect.
"— and I said, 'How could you seat the Jeon's next to the Jung's when you know they're feuding about the business contract'?" Hyejin exclaims. "Scandalous."
"Scandalous." You reply with a bored attempt at enthusiasm, raising your eyebrows at Seokjin over the rim of your glass as you sip cloudy lemonade through a straw. To his credit he looks equally as exhausted with Hyejin's spiel, shaking his knee impatiently as he itches for an opportunity to pounce.
As Hyejin continues to make mildly interrogative small talk and you find it increasingly easier to think on the spot when she asks about your family's (imaginary) dynasty and the university degree in economics you (supposedly) possess, you start to feel more comfortable. But Seokjin still refuses to loosen the arm resting around your shoulders keeping you planted by his side all afternoon, as if he is nervous his sister might swoop down like a bird and take you away at any moment, like a toddler with a toy.
That's why when she suggests a trip to the little girls room to powder your noses, Seokjin throws you a reluctant look. He protests at first when you readily agree (hoping to splash some cold water on your face to cool the constant burn that seems to have settled into your every pore) and he still looks concerned, knee bouncing nervously, when you peel yourself away from his body and disappear into the bar a few steps behind Hyejin who doesn't seem interested in side by side small talk.
In fact, you use the bathroom in silence and she doesn't speak another word until you catch her gaze in the mirror as she emerges from a cubicle behind you.
"You might have my little brother fooled but I see right through you, you know." She sets down her cosmetics bag on the sink, retrieving an expensive tube of lipstick and swiping the pinkish colour over her lips nonchalantly.
The tap stops running over your soaped up hands as you try to curb the nausea her words induce. Does she know who you are? Who you really are?
Despite the shake to your voice you try to play it cool. "W-what do you mean?"
Hyejin's laugh is small and tight, nothing about it humorous at all. Her eyes never leave her reflection, fluffing up her curls with an air of superiority. "I see through parasites like you straight away."
Your mouth falls agape with astonishment. "Parasites?"
"You should know that I have people all over this place who will find out exactly why you came here." For the first time she turns to look you dead in the eye, a bitter smile lacing her lips smugly. She is eye level but it feels like she is towering above you. "What is it you want? Money?"
"No I—"
"Just wait." Hyejin slings her bag over her shoulder triumphantly, voice getting smaller as her heels click across the tiles to the door. She pauses, poking her head back into the room as if burdened with an after thought. "You could do with some more mascara, by the way, darling. Would make you look much prettier."
And then she's gone, leaving you to watch her hips swaying into the distance with hands dripping dry onto the ground.
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By the time you calm your nerves enough to emerge from the bathroom looking semi-confident, Hyejin is already ordering another drink and Seokjin is straining his neck to search for you anxiously.
Even from a few meters away you can see the way he sighs with relief when he spots you approaching. It didn't last for long though as he must notice the slightly reddened rings around yours eyes that weren't there before and before you can give him a watery smile in greeting, he is on his feet.
"What happened?"
You bite your lip. "Seokjin, I think I need to go."
"I knew this would happen. Did she try and get in your head?" You nod and his face darkens. "I was an idiot bringing you here."
"It's fine, I shouldn't have agreed, you stay and I'll just go—"
"Right!" Seokjin makes a show of slapping his palms to his knees, practically jumping to his feet and dragging you up with him by your elbow, only a hare away from spilling the drink in your hands. "Sorry to cut this short but I think it's time for Y/N and I to be going."
Hyejin looks positively furious at the suggestion of saying goodbye, gesturing towards the bucket of ice in the centre of the table you had inhabited after your arms began to hurt from holding the archery bow. "But we haven't even opened the Champagne yet, Jin-"
"Oh I don't day drink." You wave her off, biting your lip with instant regret when you see how her face hardens.
"Sorry Hyejin but there really just isn't enough time," Seokjin insists, reaching for your bag to save you the trouble, slinging it across your shoulder and pushing you by the shoulders towards the exit. It's not like you have a choice in the matter but you have to admit you are relieved the whole fiasco is finished. "Send my best wishes to Wonho and Minhye!"
"Minhyuk." Hyejin splutters as she staggers to her feet, chair scraping obscenely. "Your nephew's name is Minhyuk!"
"Good to know!" Seokjin calls over his shoulder, already speed walking into the lobby before you can make out her response.
When Seokjin decides there is enough distance between you and the range he drops his arm from where it drapes around your shoulders. You didn't realise it was there until it was already gone, a cold emptiness settling over you. Why had it felt so natural?
He lets out a deep sigh of relief. "Thank god that's over with. I thought she would never stop talking."
You snort in agreement. "I've never told so many lies in my life."
"I find that hard to believe." Seokjin smirks when you slap his arm playfully. "It came too easily to you."
"It's your fault! Your deceptive ways are rubbing off on me!"
"Deceptive ways?" Seokjin splutters, a genuine laugh spilling from his lips. Heartier and much different to the strained chuckles he's been giving Hyejin all day. You decide by the way your heart lurches that you like it much better. "I'll have you know I never lie."
"You're joking right?" Surely he is aware that it was him that roped you into this identity fraud master plan in the first place? The smirk on his face says yes. It's your turn to laugh, mimicking his earlier tone. "I find that hard to believe."
"Then ask me a question and I'll tell you the honest truth and nothing but the truth."
"Uhh okay?" You pause, mulling over all the questions you really want to ask. Why did you choose me? Does this make us friends? Are you gonna look through me again at the restaurant when this whole thing is over?  Before you sheepishly settle on something more appropriate.
"How much is the resort worth? It must be a lot if you would go to all this...trouble."
"Five hundred."
"Five hundred thousand?"
"You're coy. Of course not." He chuckles. "Million."
Oh. Well now everything makes sense.
"Come on, ask me another." Seokjin bumps his shoulder against yours playfully, hair falling in his eyes that you’re desperate to push away. Your cheeks burn. "What's on your mind, kitchen girl?"
Don't say it...don't say it...
"D-did your sister hate me?"
Too late. The question slips out before you can stop it and you slap a hand over your mouth in shock.
He narrows his eyes. "Why do you want to know?"
Why do you want to know? It's not like any of this really mattered - it wasn't real after all. So why does your stomach twist when you remember the spiteful way Hyejin spoke to you?
You flash a sheepish smile. "J-just interested."
Your ego was just bruised that's all. It was natural to feel bad when someone didn't like you, right?
"Then yes."
Oh.
Your chest clenches for no reason. Maybe he really never lies after all, huh?
Seokjin must notice the way you pout. "It's not personal! That's just how she is. Honestly, out of all the candidates so far you're the one she hated the least..."
You snort. "Good to know?"
You come to a stop outside the locker room doors. You don't know what to say - what is left? Goodbye? Thank you?
You're probably never going to speak to him again, true; but goodbye feels too formal. Too real. Instead you stay quiet, the sound of cicadas and balls hitting racquets filling the silence as Seokjin’s chocolate brown eyes make you weak at the knees when they darken, his body drawing ever closer to yours.
"Aren't you gonna ask how I plan on repaying you?"
Seokjin's fingers wrap around your elbow before you can slip away and you gasp at how his skin burns yours. You swallow thickly. The light bounces off his face dazzlingly and you have to admit he looks good right now, with his shirt unbuttoned lazily and his bitten lips inches from yours.
"I-I forgot about that." You admit. Sure you had been uptight about this whole idea initially but you couldn't deny the fact that today had been kinda fun. Did you really need a reward? Maybe you'd got a little lost in pretending to be someone else. So what?
"Well," Seokjin draws closer until your back presses against the wall, his breath hot next to your ear. "I have something in mind."
Your pulse quickens when you feel his hand rest upon your hip, the rise and fall of his chest so close that you get tingles down your spine.
You swallow the lump in your throat. "W-what is it?"
His chuckle is warm against your sensitive neck and you shudder when his lips ghost over your skin, so so close. "Can I show you?"
"Sure." You breathe.
And then he takes you by the chin, lining up your mouths and crashing them together in a hot tangle of tongue and teeth, his chapped lips moving against yours with an urgency. Your arms snake around his neck, tangling in the hair at his nape and pulling him into you with a thump.
Before your eyes can flutter shut and your heart can get lost in the feeling of his teeth pulling at your bottom lip and the taste of sour lemonade that still lingers on his tongue, Seokjin pulls back with a smirk, eyes dropping to your parted lips and then back to your blown out eyes with a satisfaction.
He runs a knuckle down your cheek. You feel your legs weaken.  "I want you."
The huskiness in his voice makes your head spin, chest burning with the desire to connect your lips again. But you resist.
"Why?" You squeeze your eyes shut, head lolling back against the wall to avoid his gaze, embarrassed at how shaky your voice sounds after one kiss. God, you're weak. "Why me?"
"Like I said," Seokjin's fingers trace down your sides, eyes darkening when he notices the way the light touch makes you shiver under him. "I want you. Have since I first saw you."
He wants you? What about all those other girls, the ones he sent running? The ones who were much more suited to him than you would ever be?
"So what?" You scoff, biting your lip to stop a needy gasp when he presses a bold kiss to your jaw. "Want to add me to the list of girls who — mmf — w-who you seduced?"
He pauses, lips pressed against your burning skin for a little longer while he registers your words. "Maybe." He resumes his earlier actions, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear. "Is that so bad?"
"I can't do this." You bite your lip. This wasn't supposed to happen. You weren't intending on letting Seokjin get to you, didn't mean to become a mark in his black book or a notch in his bed post.
"Why not?" He presses his forehead to yours. Your breath hitches and you will the warm tingle in your stomach to go away. "I saw you checking me out on the range."
The way he grins tells you that you hadn't been so subtle after all.
"And besides," Seokjin grips your ass through your skirt, making you gasp to his satisfaction. "This way, I get to pay you back and have some fun of my own."
"H-how?" You can feel yourself slipping. Into his touch, into his words.
"By making you cum." That had your panties damp and he knew it, the heat between your legs distracting you from the way he groans against your lips when your hips buck into him involuntarily.
It's like he knows what you need, slotting his leg between your own and putting pressure on the growing ache in your core. "I know you want this too."
He's right, the way the cotton of your panties has begun to cling to your folds a tell tale sign of your arousal. Seokjin knew exactly how to make you putty in his hands. Every teasing touch of his lips to your neck, every feather light trace of his fingers has him chuckling darkly when you melt into his body, unable to resist the way he makes your core ache needily for his touch.
"Come on, I can make you feel good." Your breath hitches when fingers toy with the hem of your skirt. "If I just lift this up..."
Oh god. If you don't stop now it'll be too late...
His hand slips beneath your skirt, pads of his fingers hooking your sodden panties to the side, the flash of cold air against your needy folds making you whine into the crook of his neck. "P-please."
You feel him smirk against your hair, speaking with a tone so sickly sweet you would've rolled your eyes if your clit wasn't already pulsating for his touch. "Please what?"
"Make me cum."
"I knew you would come round." He pulls back to face you, drinking in the expression on your face which you presume is utterly fucked out. You have to admit the way his own irises have darkened with what you recognise as lust makes your stomach leap in anticipation. "So desperate for me already hm?"
You whine, somewhat in confirmation, somewhat in frustration at his refusal to touch you even when you buck against his hand. "Please."
"I wouldn't have put you down as the begging type." His hand suddenly cups your heat, pads of his fingers circling your entrance teasingly. He lets out a choked groan when he feels your arousal. "This wet for me? Already?"
"What do you expect?" You stammer, squeezing his shoulders and holding back on the urge to buck against his palm again. "You've got your hand up my skirt."
"Mmm, I could just make you come undone right here." His eyes darken, tongue snaking out to wet his chapped lips hungrily. "Could easily fuck you out nice and slow with my fingers if I wanted to, hmm?" Seokjin has begun to circle your entrance teasingly, making you squirm every time he nearly slips inside.
"Fuck." Your eyes are squeezed shut, breathing already laboured despite him barely even touching you, just the thought of him filling you up getting you dangerously worked up. "I want you to."
"What was that?" Seokjin's lips curve up mischievously, one of his fingers nearly filling you up before he removes his hand and you groan with frustration. "Gotta use your words sweetheart."
Your heart thumps at the use of the pet name but you choose to ignore it, instead reaching between your bodies to clasp his wrist before it disappears completely. "Fuck me," you pant, eyes roaming his with desperation. His staunch gaze never falters. "Please, fuck me now."
Seokjin connects your swollen lips again, but not before mumbling against them gruffly. "Remember you asked for it."
Then, his free hand to spreads your legs, knee stopping them from closing as his other hand closes in on your aching core. The feeling of his digits running down your soaked slit has you panting and you feel your legs buckle when he pressed two of his lithe fingers into your heat without warning. You are dripping by now, hole accommodating the stretch and allowing his fingers to slip inside easily.
Your clit pulsates with need and you want to feel Seokjin everywhere, have him take you in any way he wants, momentarily lost to the feeling of his fingers pumping in and out of your heat; until you remember that you have Seokjin's hand down your pants in broad daylight and anyone could walk by and see just how weak he makes you.
"Wait!" He halts his ministrations, raising a brow. "W-we can't, not here."
You mewl when his thumb ghosts across your swollen clit, touch light but enough to have you gasping into the crook of his neck.
"Let's take this inside, then." Before you can ask what he means his fingers disappear, leaving your hole clenching agonisingly around nothing again. He presses the arousal coated digits to your lips and you enjoy the way his jaw tightens as you eagerly take them into your hot mouth, humming when you taste yourself on your own tongue. "Fuck you'll drive me crazy if you keep this up."
You can tell you are getting to him, even if he is trying to hide it. The way his eyes roll back when you suck his fingers clean, how he bites his cheek to stop a lustful groan when his eyes dip between your bodies to your almost naked heat tells you all you needed to know.
He can't take it any longer.
Seokjin pulls his hand away with a wet pop, your throbbing heat protesting when he let your legs fall shut, linking his clammy hand with your own. "Come with me."
It takes a second to remember how to walk, letting him pull you behind him in your dizzy haze. His hand is warm in yours and your entire body aches to feel them on you again. It's already too late to hide your swollen lips and slightly mussed up hair before Seokjin drags you right into the men's locker room .
"Wait, we can't do it in here—"
"Everyone out!" Seokjin's voice bellows through the locker room, all its inhabitants pausing their ministrations to peer at you curiously.
You try to let go of Seokjin's hand to button up your shirt but he won't let you, squeezing your hand reassuringly as you hide behind him self consciously, knees knocking. "We need to use the locker room."
A groan erupts through the room, a chorus of again? permeating the sound of lockers slamming shut with frustration before one by one all the dudes in the locker room began to shuffle past you to the exit.
"Seokjin!" You hiss, standing on your tiptoes to whisper in his ear angrily. "Now everyone knows!"
Seokjin's thumb rubs across your knuckles soothingly. "Who cares?"
You feel your cheeks flush hotly when a man you recognise from the restaurant, now wearing nothing but a towel, narrows his eyes in a knowing look. You willed the ground to swallow you up.
The sound of footsteps ceases, the door swings closed and finally you're alone.
"Better?" Seokjin turns to you expectantly.
"I can't believe you just did that!" You cover your face with your palms. "God how am I going to look any of them in the eyes again."
"They don't care." He soothes, your unamused expression not faltering still.
"Are you even allowed to do that? W-What if they tell someone—"
"They won't," Seokjin smirks. "They value their memberships here too much."
You bite your lip. "Maybe we shouldn't do this."
Seokjin rushes forward to cup your face in his palms reassuringly. The act feels a little too sincere and you nearly melt at the intimacy, resisting copying his motion by pinching your palm instead. "It's okay, seriously! They're just jealous that I get lucky more around here than any of the old bastards have in their entire lives."
"I don't believe you." Your words are muffled by his chest, his chuckle vibrating against your cheek.
"They're jealous because they'll never get this lucky."
"Huh?" Seokjin's hands slide down the small of your back to cup your ass, lifting your entire weight so that your legs wrap around his waist. You let out a giggle of surprise when his face comes into view, smirking up at you.
"Lucky enough to get someone as pretty as you underneath them."
There they are again, the butterflies in your stomach, the skip of a beat in your heart, a warmth spreading through your chest that feels too good to question right now. "Technically I'm above you." You mumble. "Besides they were all, like, fifty years old or something."
"Just shut up would you?" Seokjin stumbles forward, throwing you roughly onto one of the couches. The fabric feels like velvet when your nails clutch at it desperately, trying to hold on to whatever control you have left when Seokjin drops to his knees between your legs to hover over you. "And kiss me for fucks sake."
You oblige, pulling him by the collar to connect your lips in a kiss even more heated than before if that was even possible. His tongue runs along your bottom lip, begging for entrance and you sigh contentedly into the kiss when he pulls your face even closer with his palms.
"F-fuck." He pulls back with a pop, hands roaming along the tops of your thighs too teasingly for you to handle. By now you're so worked up that you just needed him to take you roughly, the thought of his cock pounding in and out of you making you moan when you feel his bulge brush your leg. God you want him more than you knew it was possible, the way your clit pulses at the thought of how good it would feel to come around him or better yet feel him come inside you overwhelming.
"Seokjin, p-please fuck me." You practically whine, letting your head fall against the couch cushion when his thumbs fiddle with the lace of your panties. "Wanna feel you inside me."
The sound that comes from his throat seems strangled. "Fuck, what did I say about driving me crazy?"
"Need you so bad," You rotate your hips to emphasise your desperation, the action providing you with no relief when his steel like grip prevents you from putting any pressure on your dripping folds. "Wanna cum for you."
You blink up at him through your lashes and you swear you see his adam's apple bob as he swallows a moan. He liked it when you provoked him, you could tell. His resolve is crumbling with every word out of your mouth.
"Please, I'm so wet." Fuck, you are. You can feel it dripping down your ass, probably making a mess of the couch below you. You hope it can be dry cleaned. "Just fuck me now—mmf!"
Seokjin shuts you up with a hard press of his lips to yours, the action conveying he's just as desperate as you, the way his hands trembled telling you he isn't as unaffected as he wants to appear.
His breathing is nearly as ragged as yours now. "You like riling me up don't you?"
He runs a shaky hand through his hair exasperatedly and you look up at him hopeful, willing him to touch you, kiss you, anything.
"I'm not going to fuck you."
Oh.
You stiffen beneath him, his words shocking you still.
He doesn't want you. Simple as that.
This was just another one of his games and you fell straight into it. You close your eyes and braced for him to start laughing. To point his finger and tell you how lame you are for ever thinking that someone like him could want someone like you.
Except nothing comes. Just the sound of your shaky breaths and a shower running nearby.
"Why?" Your voice is small now and you draw your knees to your chest, trying to hide as much from him as possible. "You don't want to?"
He looks dismayed at your suggestion, palms shooting out to push you back down and pull you back into his hold again.
"It's not that, Y/N." You let out a relieved breath, not fighting Seokjin when his forehead falls against your chest in defeat, heavy breaths ghosting across the tops of your breasts. You're sure he can feel the way your heart beats uncontrollably in your chest.
"Then why?" You bite your lip. You sound too needy, to whiny. Why do you even care if he wants you or not? This is a one off anyway.
"God, I want nothing more than to strip you and see you bounce on my cock right here"
Oh.
Seokjin's lips attach to your neck, sucking harshly like a man deprived, as though he can't hold back any longer. His hands roam everywhere they can reach, rubbing your breasts over your shirt before his fingers work on the buttons eagerly.
"S-Seokjin..."
"Would give anything to see you come undone on my cock. Bet you'd moan so pretty when I pound you, yeah?"
Truth be told you'd let him right now if he said the word, the thought of him stretching you out making you see stars before he has even properly touched you. Your core is hot and sticky against your panties while you clench around nothing while his every word makes you writhe to be filled. "Then w-why don't you?"
"Because there's plenty of time for that, princess." He flashes you a smile. Plenty of time? Why did he make it sound as if this wasn't a one time thing? As if you'd be back for more? "This is for you remember? Gotta pay you back."
You yelp when Seokjin lifts your ass, thumbs finally dragging your panties down your legs and throwing them behind him before he spreads your legs with a hunger. "Let me taste you, hm?"
Seokjin pushes your skirt around your waist, exposing your core to his hungry eyes, drinking in how you look all spread out for him. Just the sight of him so close to your dripping heat makes the coil in your stomach tighten and you're sure you could cum just from the way his lips part in anticipation.
He looks up at you for confirmation, smirking when you nod your head before falling back against the couch weakly when he drags a finger down your slit teasingly, licking his lips when you mewl at the brief contact with your clit. "So pretty."
He sinks back against his heels, cheek warm against your inner thigh, hot breath caressing your clit. A moan escapes you at the feeling much to his amusement, his bruising grip on your thighs stopping you from bucking up. "Hurry up — mmf — please."
For the first time he listens to your request, skipping the teasing to run a long stripe up your soaking slit. Seokjin groans against your clit and you quiver, his staggered breaths hot against your dripping folds. "Taste so good, sweetheart."
"S-Seokjin," Hands spread your legs as far as they cN go and then plump lips engulf your clit, sucking with a perfect harshness that makes your legs shake and your head fall back with a gasp, hands tangling in his blonde locks tightly enough to have him groaning blissfully. "Fingers!"
The breathiness of your voice makes him chuckle against your heat, vibrations enough to have your knees straining to close around his head, the pressure between them almost too much. "What was that?"
"Fingers," You reiterate, aware of how fucked out you soundjust from feeling his tongue on your clit, every teasing flick making your entrance pulse. "Inside me, now."
"No please?" The drag of Seokjin's flat tongue down your slit to prod at your hole is sinful, the way he took to fucking you with his tongue teasingly drawing small whimpers from your lips. It's mesmerising how he knows just how to make you fall apart.
"P-please!"
The gentle brush of his nose against your clit nearly has you coming on the spot. "Turn over." He growls against your mound. An arm wraps around your waist and before you can protest his mouth leaving your heat, you are being flipped onto your hands and knees, Seokjin's palm pushing your head down against your forearms so that your ass comes up for his viewing pleasure. "That's more like it."
"F-fuck." It feels dirty being on display for him like this, dripping wet and wiggling your hips, desperate for friction against your spread folds. Pressing your cheek to the couch, you catch a glimpse of Seokjin's expression as he takes you in, eyes black with desire, lips still coated in your sticky arousal.
"Shit." His breath hitches. "Such a pretty pussy, hm?"
It's your turn to take a shaky inhale when a single finger circles your entrance, Seokjin humming approvingly when you clench hopelessly around nothing. Knowing you are so close to being filled even with a single finger gets you panting, circling your hips and trying to sink down onto the digit that smears your wetness through your folds lewdly. Seokjin pulls his hand away with a click of his tongue.
"That desperate to be filled, baby?" His tone is taunting, followed by a chuckle when you whine at the way his words make your clit throb. "Fuck, such a slut, dripping wet for just my fingers."
He reaches around to press the pad of his finger against your lips and you suck it instinctively, humming when you taste yourself, some of your sticky arousal smearing on your chin. Seokjin's head rolls back, the visual practically sending him into sensory overload.
"Such a slut," A loud slap fills the room, a palm landing flat against your upturned ass, the sensation making you cry out in surprise. His breath is hot and ragged against your ear. "You like that?"
Despite the embarrassed shake of your head another smack lands to the flesh of your other cheek with enough force to leave a mark this time. It stings when he rubs his calloused hands over the reddening skin that is now burning hot where it collided with his palm but the pain quickly dissipates to pleasure and you bite your hand to stop from moaning out too lewdly. "Use your words, princess."
"Seokjin!" You can't hold back from whining his name when his palm lands straight on your heat, the sharp pain a somehow welcome relief when he instantly rubbed a few soothing circles into your folds with the pads of his fingers, each graze of your clit making your legs shake uncontrollably. "I-I need more."
"This?" Without warning he presses two fingers into your pussy, entrance squeezing around him wildly at the pleasant stretch. Every flick of his wrist permeates through the locker room with a loud squelch, testament of just how worked up you were.
"Ugh!" Every drag of his fingers against your velvety walls has your eyes rolling back, the way he curls the digits with every thrust hitting your sweet spot perfectly, like he knew exactly how to drive you crazy. "S-so good."
You are starting to get out of breath, meeting his thrusts by rocking back against his hand and this time he doesn't protest, encouraging you by kneading the flesh of your ass and groaning in time with the sharp gasps leaving your lips each time the heel of his hand brushes your swollen clit.
"Think you can cum again with just my fingers, baby?" The way you clench around around his digits is a tell tale sign that your second high is close. Just his words alone nearly make you fall over the edge, words slurred as you try to focus on anything other than the unrelenting pulse between your legs.
"N-need more." You sound utterly fucked out, eyes squeezed shut and lost to the feeling of being filled but the stretch isn't quite enough and you need more to tip you over the edge. "Another one."
Seokjin lines up a third finger with your entrance, the ring on his finger cold against your hot walls as he slides it in beside the others at an agonisingly slow pace; to allow you to adjust to the stretch or to taunt you can't tell. By the time he gets to his knuckles your body is wracked with laboured breaths, quivering knees barely able to hold your weight as you bite the inside of your cheeks to curb a string of whines at being finally filled.
Of course, his fingers weren't as good as the real thing and you wonder how he is able to control himself when your mouth waters at the thought of feeling him inside of you instead of his hand.
The room is still a little humid from the showers, a layer of sweat glistening across your skin as you chase your high with determination, the stickiness between your legs dripping down Seokjin's wrist and making him tut, the click of his tongue heightening the sensation.
"That's it, cum for me." The authority lacing his tone tips you over the edge, another smack stinging your ass as you bury your face in the couch with a cry, the feeling of his fingers pumping you through your high almost too much to bare but as soon as they are ripped away and you're left clenching around nothing you miss the feeling of being full.
"So pretty when you cum." Seokjin murmurs. Under normal circumstances you would have been embarrassed, self conscious even with your ass up for anyone to see, release leaking on to the couch, but you're too fucked out to care about anything m, barely able to register Seokjin's new found gentleness as he flips you onto your back and tucks a piece of hair behind your ear while you focus on returning your breathing back to a normal pace.
"Holy shit." The beat of your heart seemsdeafening in your ears, the only other sound you can comprehend being Seokjin's own ragged breathing.
"Fuck, I nearly just came in my pants." When you manage to turn your head he is staring straight at you with disbelief, eyes travelling to your swollen lips. "I'm going to jerk off to this image forever."
"Me too." You murmur honestly.
Your lids fall shut in post orgasm bliss, not expecting the incoming peck Seokjin presses to your parted lips. It is barely a kiss, plump flesh of his lips brushing yours for less than a second but a funny warmth spreads through your chest at the gesture. Seokjin seems as surprised as you, as if he can't quite believe he just did that, shuffling to the other side of the couch to put some distance between you.
"You should uh, get dressed." He mumbles, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly and turning away to give you some privacy, as if he hadn't just had his head between your legs just a moment ago.
His behaviour, albeit kind of strange, makes you smirk and you decide it won't hurt to tease. "Well, at least now we're even."
Seokjin bites his lip when he turns around to find your skirt back around your thighs, overcome with a new confidence, sauntering over and palming your ass like he owns it. "Nope, not getting away that easily. I think you'll find I made you cum twice. So now you owe me. Again."
"And what do I owe you this time, Kim Seokjin?" You place your hands on his chest, no instinct to push him away for some reason. "Golfing with your brother up next?"
"No," He scoffs. "My brother wouldn't be caught dead with a club."
"Then what?"
You notice the glint in his eye again, the one you are starting to crave. "Let me get to know you."
"Isn't that what you did today?"
He shakes his head. "The real you."
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cranehusbands · 4 years ago
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evening glow
Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Pathfinder; unrequited crushes; canon compliant; apex rarepair week; 1791 words
a/n: honestly writing so much makes me feel like i’ve been posessed by the ghost of productivity. and at this point im not even gonna complain. day 4 of rarepair week!
cryptfinder was like... my original crypto ship, all the way back in season 3. idk why it got me so bad.. it just makes me really soft, i love the “someone will die” “of fun!” dynamic they have, and how crypto is like soft for only one (1) person and thats his robot. its cute
day 4 of @apex-rarepairweek, jealousy, is right here! enjoy!
likes < reblogs, any comments in the tags are appreciated
ao3 mirror in the reblogs!
Preview: Elliott was insecure, yes - he was the kind of man to trip over his own tongue and his whole thought would come crashing down with him - but he was intelligent, an efficient engineer and people person, an excellent businessman who knew what made people tick. He wasn’t a bad looking man either. He had a nice smile, the kind that lit up his whole face when it was genuine, the kind that made his eyes smile with him. And when he wasn’t wearing that god awful jumpsuit, he was almost attractive, well built and taken care of, putting a lot of effort into making Mirage as real as possible, though he was about as real as a gaudy, faux gold rip-off. But as Crypto watched the bar, where he was working pouring drinks, frantically guiding the much taller, clumsier robot, his eyes were not on Elliott.
With his coat pulled up to hide his face, and knuckles shaking from the grip on his glass, Crypto couldn’t tear his eyes away from the bar just in eyesight from his little corner seat even if he tried. They were supposed to be out here celebrating at the Paradise Lounge, with somewhat professional businessman Elliott kind enough to offer the champion squad free drinks (begrudgingly, to even him, which Crypto was incredibly smug about at the time, but almost thankful for now) after a great game that day. And sure, it was fantastic; a last-minute scan from Hack let them get the drop on the final squad, an EMP blast slowing them down just enough to catch them in the field of Anita’s Rolling Thunder barrage, while Pathfinder led the final assault and gunned the final guy down in his usual unnervingly cheerful way. He should have been happy about another win under his belt - it was enough to get people to stop asking questions about his skill, and sudden appearance in the games. But he wasn’t. He just kept staring at the bar.
 Elliott wasn’t an idiot. He knew that, despite his own insistence. No, Mirage was an idiot, but Mirage also didn’t have anything to hide. Mirage was a one-note, total bumbling fool, who Crypto was sure would short-circuit if he thought about anyone but himself. But Elliott was not that. Elliott was insecure, yes - he was the kind of man to trip over his own tongue and his whole thought would come crashing down with him - but he was intelligent, an efficient engineer and people person, an excellent businessman who knew what made people tick. He wasn’t a bad looking man either. He had a nice smile, the kind that lit up his whole face when it was genuine, the kind that made his eyes smile with him. And when he wasn’t wearing that god awful jumpsuit, he was almost attractive, well built and taken care of, putting a lot of effort into making Mirage as real as possible, though he was about as real as a gaudy, faux gold rip-off. But as Crypto watched the bar, where he was working pouring drinks, frantically guiding the much taller, clumsier robot, his eyes were not on Elliott.
 Now Pathfinder was an interesting case. A MRVN unit with slightly more awareness than the average one, though that was often misplaced. He was a lost soul, somehow finding his home in murder, where he made fast friends and fans alike, though that was never what he wanted. Still, he didn’t seem to mind, his demeanour never changing - he had that shrill ‘Hi, friends!’ drilled into the back of his head by now… but at least that was a hole to get all the fog out, when his own head was the worst place to be. He was almost thankful for it, in fact. He thought back to the game that day, the way Pathfinder looked over to him, the screen on his chest lit up with a warm, celebratory yellow, as he gave an excited wave, before his attention turned to Anita for a fistbump. He soon turned back, and offered Crypto the same, metallic fist… which he took, and returned the gesture, almost laughing at the way the robot seemed to rock back and forth in excitement. It was… cute, almost warm, not like his cold exterior… not like Crypto. Pathfinder was warm. Pathfinder was cute.
 And Pathfinder was over there, sharing his warmth with everyone else.
 Over the thumping bass of the music too loud to distinguish, he was almost sure he heard a gentle crack of glass, and even though he knew that he would never be strong enough to shatter it with one hand he still flinched with a start, checking his hand for any loose liquor that had spilt, before rubbing it against his coat. So maybe he was just a little jealous. Slightly. But was it because of the attention that the robot was receiving tonight, or was it because he could live so free, not bound by the bars of paranoia? It was absolutely insufferable. The hacker slowly held onto his glass again, taking a final drink and knocking his head back before placing it down quite harshly, enough to get a few heads to turn, before he shuffled out of the booth and stood to his feet, beginning to head towards the door.
“Hey, hey, Crypto, where you goin’?” From the bar, Elliott looked up, taking his eyes off of Pathfinder for the briefest of moments. 
“Home. Thanks for the free drink, Witt.”
“At least stay for another one, c’mon. I’m teaching this bag of bolts how to- wait, Path, no! Ah, dammit- not on my pants, you stupid-”
“Sorry, friend, these glasses are so small in my hands it’s hard to see when it ends.” The robot placed the whiskey glass down on the bar, excess spilling onto the counter as Elliott tried to clean the rest of the alcohol off of his leg with the towel over his shoulder.
“It’s- OK, then don’t hold it, it’s fine.”
“But you-”
“I have tiny human hands! I can do that! You’re… clumsy, and that’s… it's fine.” He gently patted Pathfinder’s small face with a hand, before turning his attention back to Crypto, unable to see the way his fists were clenched in the pocket of his coat. “One more. On me? C’mon, new guy.”
He gritted his teeth. The bar was loud, too many people were here as it was, he had already pushed the limits of what he wanted from tonight. Crypto opened his mouth to say no again, but he caught Pathfinder’s eye, staring at him from just behind Elliott, glowing in his warmth and kindness. The hacker closed his eyes, and sighed, pulling up a stool and sitting down at the counter, ignoring the bartender’s successful fist pump only to himself. This wasn’t for his benefit, anyway.
 After watching the trickster fumble a little more to try and help Pathfinder a little more, only resulting in more drinks spilling on himself and the floor, he was slid a hastily made glass of whiskey, before Elliott excused himself to go clean up in the bathroom - “keep the bar warm but don’t serve anyone, got it, Path?” he’d specifically instructed, to which Pathfinder seemed to ignore as he turned his attention to a couple of patrons trying to haggle drinks for free through flattery. It worked, bless his heart, as he managed to keep the pint glass steady under the nozzle, handing it to the woman who shot a flirty remark that flew right over his head.
He laughed from over his glass, taking a small drink, gagging at the aftertaste but doing his best to cover it by coughing and covering his hand with the side of a clenched fist, just as Pathfinder returned.
“Elliott knows so many great friends, I really like working here!”
“Ya, you… seem to fit right in.”
“Do you really think so?” He seemed to genuinely appreciate the comment, perking up a little bit. “Do you think I’d look nice in a bow tie and suit? Elliott has an image to maintain, after all - I wouldn’t want to ruin it for my very best friend.”
An image of tackiness and gaud, Crypto wanted to say, but he bit his tongue. “Do you even know how to tie one?”
“No!” The confirmation was said with such cheer that it almost made him smile a little. “Why, do you?”
He blinked. “...Ya.”
“Can you show me?” If the robot was anymore animated, he would have twinkles in his optic from his excitement. 
Crypto looked away, practically burying his face into his coat. “I… maybe.”
“Promise?”
“...Mhm.”
Pathfinder was practically glowing again with excitement, clapping his hands together, enough for Crypto to glance back over and bask in the warmth for a moment.
His shoulders lost their tension, he physically relaxed, and as the robot rambled on, divulging way too much about himself and his goals, he found himself… interested, and intrigued, offering insight as a man who was looking for someone just as hard, hardly noticing as one by one people filtered out, the other Legends heading home until it was just the two of them, and Elliott, closing up the bar.
 “You two good to get home?” He asked, twirling the keys to the Paradise lounge around his finger.
Crypto nodded, flinching a little as Pathfinder slapped a hand down on his shoulder.
“Crypto promised to share a taxi with me! I’m so excited!”
The trickster raised an eyebrow, a small smirk forming on his lips. “Oh yeah? Check you out, kid. Making friends. Wasn’t so hard to get that stick out of your ass, huh?”
“Ip dakchyeo.”
“Yeah, you too, buddy.”
The hacker zipped up his coat again and looked away, shoving his hands in his pockets and continued to wait at the door, for Elliott to usher the two of them out, and lock up, heading to his car and leaving the two of them, alone, in the glow of the streetlight and Pathfinder’s presence, as he quietly bounced in place.
“Are you not cold?” The robot asked, looking down.”
“Ah, I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Mhm.”
Pathfinder blinked, before nodding to himself, taking off the warm scarf around his neck and tying it around Crypto’s, making the hacker flinch again.
“Wait, I said-”
“It’s OK, I don’t really need it.” He gently tied it, expertly creating a small bow from the side, where it practically drowned Crypto’s face. “It looks nice on you, friend!”
He swallowed, looking down at his feet, and mumbling a thank you, enough to satisfy the other legend to take his attention away. Once he did that, Crypto dared to bring up his hand, running his fingertips across the softest tartan he had felt in a long time, and the light smell of motor oil that lingered to the fabric.
 The taxi soon arrived, and the two of them got in, Crypto silently cursing Elliott to himself for not offering them a ride. It certainly would have made things a little less awkward. Did he know too much? The look he gave him certainly seemed like a catch on. He wasn’t here to make friends. He knew he wasn’t. But the draw of some people, or robots, was almost too much for him to bear, it seemed, as Pathfinder talked his ear off for the entire journey, voice more like music than white noise as Crypto stared out of the window, assessing his thoughts in the night, the evening he realised that maybe, just maybe, he liked Pathfinder.
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testifytime · 4 years ago
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hi ardent!!! im here to be government kin assigned. you pretty much know most things about me by now, but i really love music and art! i also really like sports n science!! so, uh, a pretty wide variety of interests ghjklgh. i try hard to stay kind and optimistic, and i really care about my friends!!! ty for doin these, they seem so fun!!
-Cracks my knuckles- You didn’t specify so I’ll do all.
- A Pokemon team/type theme (+ fun facts abt your team!)
You’re a fairy-type user! Your main pokemon is Sylveon, though you also have a lil Togepi, Florges, Alcremie, Marill, and Ribombee!
Fun facts!
Your Sylveon evolved without you meaning it to! You were going to evolve it into a Vaporeon, but you befriended it so quickly that it evolved before you got the water stone!
Your Togepi likes to ride around in a little backpack you made specifically for it. It’s a huge sweetie, but it also a bit of a baby; it knows Fake Tears, so it often cries whenever it wants some attention. 
Your Florges and Ribombee help you in your garden! Ribombee makes sure that all of the flowers are pollinated, and likes to help with watering them! Florges helped you plant all the flowers and how to place them beautifully, and now keeps a close eye on them for any signs of stress or illness - which, luckily, have never happened!
Your Alcremie was a gift from someone! It adores you with its whole heart, which can sometimes be a little messy; more than once it’s tried to jump into your arms, and you’ve ended up covered in sticky cream. Its sweet is a Heart, and its flavour is Mint!
Your Marill is a little different from the others. It’s a lot shyer, and tends to cling to your legs a little more. But it’s really good with kids!! It loves to go swimming with you in fresh water lakes. 
- Bloodcaste/lusus/chumhandle as if you were a Homestuck troll (+lore)
You’re a bronzeblood with a Paradise Flycatcher lusus! Your chumhandle is amiableGaitey.
You live in a small house in a meadow far away from society, living a fairly simple - albeit hard - life. There’s a stream that you get most of your water from, and a clothesline that you dry your clothes from, and as soon as the sun sets, you lose all power. It’s... a bit of a pain, honestly, but you kind of like it! You eat the berries and fruits that grow in the orchard and bushes that surround your home, and sometimes you go foraging for nuts and mushrooms, but only if your lusus gives the go-ahead. You’re pretty sure a bunch of the plants near your home are deadly. You might have even made poison once? It’s kind of weird.
You spend a lot of your time outside, going for walks and picking flowers to put into scrapbooks. Sometimes you’ll take your camera with you, and take pics of all the cool plants that you have around your home! It’s fun to show your friends later, when they’re all online, and it encourages you to go out every day just a little further to see what new things you can find. You’ve even turned it into a bit of a game! So far, you’ve managed to follow your river all the way down to the cliff that it drops from, have climbed up it, and have gone racing through the woods above. The exercise is great! You love it maybe more than anything else, and you couldn’t imagine giving it up for anything in the world. 
When you’re at home, you like to spend most of your time talking to your friends online. Your husktop is solar-powered, so you settle down in a nice sunny spot just outside your home and curl up against a big beancushion for hours until that itch to get going hits you again. Sometimes you draw - they’ve gotten you into drawing more and more frivolous things, things for you, things you might not have indulged in if they hadn’t encouraged you to - and sometimes you play games. Most of the time it’s just talking and having fun, though, and you love it! You’re pretty sure you’re all going to be friends for a very long time. You hope so, anyway. 
Your lusus is pretty small. They’re kind of fae-like, if you’re honest, and they often warn you against going in mushroom circles or going too deep into the woods. They’re a supersticious little thing, really! But they make a great navigator when you’re out and about, and they warn you of oncoming trouble pretty quick, so you don’t mind having to do weird things like hop on the stepping stones of a river after saying a little thank you.
- Symbol/guardian/chumhandle as if you were a Homestuck kid (+lore)
Your symbol is a styalised bass clef that looks like a heart, and you live with your auntie! Your chumhandle is appreciativeGuitarist.
You and your auntie live in a tiny cottage at the foot of a mountain surrounded on all sides by a field of wildflowers. The kitchen doubles as a dining room, and your livingroom really only fits a small, old-fashioned tv and a sofa that’s a little too worn for wear at this point. But you have your own room! And you’ve got all your things in there, including your bike, which is kind of a pain to get in and out all the time, but you make it work. You have a small desk for your drawingpad and laptop, and a tiny bed you just about fit on, and it’s maybe a little small? But it’s also filled to the brim with clothes you love and stuffed toys you’ve collected over the years, so it’s pretty good, all things considered. Homey, more than anything.
You love to draw! You’ve really improved in the last few years, you think, and you’re getting more confident about posting your art again - so you draw, and draw, and you think maybe you’re starting to see what your friends have been telling you! You like to draw fantasy things, of yourself in different scenarios or just spending time with your friends, all of which you do on your drawing pad. It’s a pretty neat little thing to have, admittedly, though you don’t always get to save your art in the process unless you send it to yourself and save it on your phone - but it means that you’re more inclined to send your art to your friends, and you’re pretty sure they love seeing what you’ve made. 
You love to go out and about, and your little space in nature gives you the perfect place to release all that pent up energy. There’s planty of beaten paths for you to follow, and a whole moutain for you to trek up if you want! You’ve gotten lost a few times, but that’s okay; the wifi signal is weirdly good up there, and it’s easy enough to figure out a way back down again before nightfall. It makes for a pretty good bike track, too, with plenty of dips and bumps that make your stomach flip whenever you go over them too fast.
You have a bunch of friends online! Actually, you have a bunch of people who just kind of flock to you for guidance and leadership, too? It’s a little weird, and it can be a bit intimidating, but you really like being able to help people, even if it means overwhelming yourself sometimes to be good at it. Your friends make it worth it, anyway. They make you laugh and make you feel better when you’re down - which doesn’t happen often, but sometimes it’s hard to keep smiling, and they remind you that that’s okay - and they make such wonderful things with you!! You love being able to talk to them, love spending time with them, and even love getting teased by them (which, you tease them back, of course). 
You like to sit out in the field of flowers just as the sun starts to set, and the sky slowly turns from blue to orange. The wind rustles the flowers around you and curls your hair around your cheeks, and sometimes, you wonder if maybe you’re not alone.
- A FNAF animatronic design and name
You’re a sweet, pink and white boardercollie with lots of hearts in your design! Your eartips are curled over, your pupils and nose heart-shaped, and you have cute little toebeans on each paw. Your chest fur, paws, belly, and the underside of your tail are white, along with your muzzle and a stripe up to your forehead, but every other part of you is a beautiful pastel pink!
You’re designed to be a friend to any child who seems upset or let out at a party, to make them feel special and to bring them back into the fun or even just to spend the whole day with them! 
You have a designated name - Collie - but you like to let the kids decide what to name you, too. It’s fun! And it helps to make them feel like you’re a Special Friend, so you often get trusted with their secrets - like if another kid is a bully, or if they’re maybe not too happy at home. You do your best to make their time at the pizzaria as fun and happy as possible to make up for all the bad things they have to deal with - and honestly, they love going to Freddy’s just to see you! It’s their favourite place in the whole wide world because they know you’re there. 
(You also tend to send information back to the owners about anything worrying you’ve heard while out on the floor. This has saved a lot of kids. They’ve often come back in smiling brighter than you’ve ever seen them, and they haven’t needed you after that, but that’s okay. You know that’s for the best.)
- A BNHA Quirk and hero title
Your quirk is Uplift, which allows you to raise the spirits of any person who hears your voice! It doesn’t matter how down they are or how villainous they may be; as soon as they hear you, their hearts are filled with brightness and warmth. The downside to your quirk, unfortunately, is that it can be draining on you: sometimes you Uplift others so much, that your own mood starts to drop, and you start to get emotionally tired. When this happens, you just need a little company, warmth, and love to get you back to normal. Cuddlepuddles with blankets and hot chocolate ARE common after training.
Your hero title is The Inspiring Hero: Restoraise! You’re more of a support hero than a daylight one, and not very high on the charts, but that’s not what matters to you. What matters is keeping people calm and full of hope whenever you’re on the scene - be that upset civillains, trapped victims, or even hopeless villains. You refuse to let anyone down if there’s even a slim chance that everyone can be saved or redeemed! 
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wallstagram · 5 years ago
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june - july fic rec: month(s) in review
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hello & welcome back to the june - july edition of fic rec: month(s) in review! we have a L O T to unpack this time, so let’s dive right in! throughout june & july, we have been blessed with the majority of @larryabroad, as well as the bulk of @hlsummerexchange2019, all of @wordplayfics, wanker’s day fic fest, and many more that i’m probably forgetting. summer was a great time to be a fic reader for sure, thank you to every author who contributed!! 
**disclaimer: not all of these fics were written in june/july, it is simply when i read them. however, a lot of them were. ***note: as always, if you do take my recommendation and read any of these works, please bookmark, comment, and leave kudos for these authors!! it is so important that we support the creators in our community. as an author, i know a sweet comment will often spur me to keep writing when i’m stuck. but, without further ado, here’s my recs below the cut!
J U N E : :
You Were Made To Be Mine by lovelarry10 (@chloehl10)
Louis Tomlinson takes his 6 year old son Jacob to see Harry Styles in concert. Jacob has been a huge fan of Harry's for as long as he can remember, so it's a dream come true when Harry notices him in the pit. But Jacob isn't all that Harry has his eye on...
Louis is a bit embarrassed when Harry picks on him from the stage, but when he's invited backstage after the show, he wonders what Harry Styles could possibly want with a single dad and his kid from Manchester...
This was such a cute read! At a whopping 580k, there is a LOT to sink your teeth into. Though I started it at the beginning of June, I haven’t even nearly finished yet, but it’s so good that it’s made it onto my rec list!
Get Off and Vote by haztobegood (@haztobegood)
Niall lets out a loud laugh, “Hey, listen to this. You know how elections are Tuesday? It says the Babeland on the edge of campus is giving out free toys to the first 100 people that show their ‘I Voted’ sticker.”
“How patriotic.” Louis laughs. “Maybe I should go.”
Haha! This one was great. At 3k, it’s a perfect quick read for some sexy, patriotic fun. 
Surprise Me, Space Boy by jacaranda_bloom (@jacaranda-bloom)
Louis is a solo officer on Space Station Zeta and the isolation can present many challenges, not least of which is that it’s really bloody hard to date. He’s pinning his hopes on that changing with a fellow solo officer, Harry, from a neigbouring station who gives great banter and has a gorgeous smile. Maybe online dating has its benefits after all?
OR The Space Wank Fic.
Oh, this one was so good!!! The thing I love about literally anything Dee writes is that she just thinks completely outside the box. I feel like I never quite know what’s going to happen (in the best way!) and her originality totally made this fic amazing. (7k)
rivers ‘til i reach you by embodied (@crossnecklace)
Louis can’t begin to understand how he’s always this close and still can’t manage to make Harry his. He stands up and gets another beer. AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).
This was such a good read! It’s written in such a way that you’re utterly sucked into the verse so much that you’re a bit sappy when the fic is over. Kinda makes you feel a bit lovedrunk just from reading it. (29k)
Found My Hallelujah by crimsontheory (@ireallysawanangel)
As an engagement gift from his parents, Harry and his fiance receive an all expenses paid cruise trip for two. But one week before they're set to sail, Harry walks in on his fiance cheating on him. Newly single, with the cruise tickets in hand, and his bags already packed, Harry brings along his sister instead. And maybe the cute bartender on the ship might just be the person Harry needs to help him put back together all of his broken pieces.
I have so much to say about this one! I had the absolute honor of beta’ing this 35k work (which im pretty sure i just cheerlead you bc nicole you know grammar isn’t my strong suit...lmfao) and honestly it has become a fic that i love so much! nicole is such a talented writer; everything she writes just brings out so much emotion from her audience, and she has such a great sense of characterization! if you liked this one, check out its sequel, Now I’m Moving Up because it’s great too!!!!
J U L Y : :
Whisk me off my feet by allwaswell16 (@allwaswell16)
When Louis locks himself out of his apartment in just a pair of novelty underwear, he hopes his new neighbor can come to his rescue.
Haha! This one was so cute! What a darling fic! (5k)
The Charles Compass Trilogy by SadaVeniren (@sadaveniren)
Louis Tomlinson is a successful writer who rents a beach house on the Cape to try and finish the final book in his successful Charles Compass trilogy.
So I’m convinced that any rec list I make will not be complete if Sada isn’t on it. Here’s the thing - I fell in love with this story before she was revealed as the author, and honestly I had no clue. She’s got this amazing way of being able to change her style to fit the kind of story she’s trying to tell. This is such a good look at the writing process, highly recommend! (9k)
From The Heart series by jacaranda_bloom (@jacaranda-bloom)
Every Tuesday, Louis spends his day off holed up in his favorite coffee-come-bookshop, writing his little stories as part of the WordPlay challenge while daydreaming about the resident barista, Harry. Each week a new word prompt is revealed and Louis adds to his series of short stories about Henry, the owner of a B&B in the Cotswolds who has curly hair and dimples, Lewis, his long term guest who just happens to be a writer, and Tigger, Henry’s cat.
As Louis and Harry’s friendship develops, could his fantasy world spill out into real life? And how does that reader who leaves the lovely comments with the teacup emoji seem to be able to read Louis’ mind?
Okay, Dee really killed the game this time. Because I was OBSESSED. I mean honestly checking my phone at work to see what the newest installment was. This series is so fulfilling and so so hot to think about as an author! (25k)
blue eyes, black jeans, lighters, candy by delsicle (@emperorstyles)
Harry is in Madrid and Louis had a hard week.
So, the whole dom on tour series is really good, but this is my favorite work of the two. I love basically anything Delaney writes but this was extremely hot! (4k)
Could you love me anyway by SadaVeniren (@sadaveniren)
Dear Mistress Lorin: I’ve been reading your blog for a couple weeks now and was hoping you’d give me some advice for something that happened with me and my boyfriend. I’m really worried that I hurt him.
aka Harry and Louis begin playing ping pong during the X-Factor Tour. It quickly gets out of hand.
Okay. If you know me at all, you know that the way to my heart is either spanking, kink negotiation, or both. This just delivers on it all, and it catches on some main parts of BDSM-for-newbies and kink-gone-wrong that people often pretend never happens. I could gush so much about this, but go ahead and just read it yourself because it’s too good to miss!! (13k)
you are half of me (and I am all for you) by angelichl (@angelichl)
One Direction, an obscure indie rock band, is about to embark on their first cross-country tour, living out of Louis' beloved van named Patricia.
Harry is in love, and Louis is oblivious. Or is he?
Featuring skinny-dipping in Texas waterfalls, getting lost in the desert, stargazing under the New Mexico sky, performing in front of crowds that grow in size each night, and falling in love on the road during the greatest summer of their lives.
Okay WOW. I have so much to say about this one!!! So first off, the biggest thank you to adri for writing this fic for me for HL Summer Exchange!!! Honestly I feel like you spied through all my hopes and dreams and loves (including parenthesis in fic titles??? love it) and squished it all into this fic. it’s just the best fic, and it feels like warm summer air and tracing constellations in the stars and falling in love. if you haven’t read this already, please do!!!! It was so good I teared up when I first read it! (25k)
Heading for Limbo by kingsofeverything (fullonlarrie) (@kingsofeverything)
Childhood best friends who’ve fallen in and out of touch with each other since Louis’ family moved away when they were thirteen, Harry and Louis find their paths crossing again and again. Each time, no matter how many miles apart or how many years it’s been, it’s as if no time has passed. They fall back into their easy friendship, until life intervenes and sends them on their separate ways once more.
When Harry discovers some life-changing things about himself, Louis is there for him, however he needs. But it’s all temporary because Louis has plans that will move his life from New York all the way to L.A. and the distance isn’t the only thing between them.
The pieces of their twice broken hearts are scattered from the Atlantic to the Pacific.
Okay. Okay. This fic literally is one I will remember for the rest of my life, and i’m not even being dramatic about it! So, I really do enjoy leaving authors detailed comments about their fics, but that just wasn’t enough... I really had to message Lauren this whole essay about how Heading for Limbo helped me deal with a lot of emotions I was feeling in my own personal life, and it helped me fully realize that i’m bisexual. (did i just come out?? yikes) it was nice to see a fic where things weren’t perfect over a long stretch of time. It was amazing to see Harry realize his sexuality later in life, because that was one of my main struggles. this fic is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. Literally, Lauren, thanks for changing my whole life!!! (101k)
Tell Me This Is Paradise by QuickedWeen (@becomeawendybird)
Harry Styles has been lucky in love but unlucky in the bedroom with all of her previous boyfriends. When her best friend Niall finds out that she's never had an orgasm, she knows just what Harry needs: Louis Tomlinson. Niall sets Harry up to get sorted out.
Okay, if you’re new around here, this fic was also on one of my previous rec lists, but then Molly had to ruin my life and write another chapter of it. Jesus Christ!!!! I literally could read this fic every single day and die happily. It’s so hot, and the characterization is so good. So, I guess this rec is specifically for chaper 2, but you’ve gotta read chapter 1 also! For the betterment of your life, of course. (9k)
Abstract by Star55 (@star55)
After Zayn draws a naked Harry for her art class, she finds that she can't stop drawing Harry and Louis' naked bodies, usually engaged in some form of sexual activity.
Literally - this was hot as balls. Loved it! (8k)
alright guys, that’s it! if you read all the way to the bottom, you deserve a sticker. i hope you guys enjoy some of my favorite fics i’ve read! don’t forget to go bookmark, comment, and give kudos! and just remember: we are all human. if you read a work, and loved it, and didn’t comment, it’s never too late! give your author some loooooooove. my life has been super busy and i really haven’t been in the place to leave the thought-out comments i like to, so most of these authors can expect comments from me soon. thank you to all the authors listed above, have a nice day everyone! also, feel free to send your favorite fics into my ask - maybe they’ll end up on my next list!!!
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astudyinsarcasm9 · 6 years ago
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Pink Diamond and her character ark. Who is she supposed to be in the SU narrative? A villain? An anti-hero?
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I’ve been meaning to make a bigger post about PD and her role in SU as of now.
First off: the Human zoo. 
I am of the opinion that her character could’ve been written better. And by that I mean that if they wanted to make her truly morally questionable they should’ve stuck by the characterisation we got before ”A single pale rose”. 
What do I mean? 
Well, before that we thought and we were told that the Human Zoo was Pink’s and that Blue was just maintaining it in her absence, as a way to remember her. Garnet said PD would take humans there as trophies of her conquest. Now, I can imagine PD made up that story as a way to maker herself seem more evil in a bid to make the CGs have even more reasons to fight her. It certainly seems more evil than saying Blue and Yellow started the Zoo to shut up Pink. 
The sad fact is the Human Zoo is really consistent with PD’s personality. She came to be infatuated with humans and until Greg she only saw them as play things so it makes total sense that she’d have a Human Zoo. It fits her to a T. She’d think she’d be doing a good thing by caring for them and providing them with basically a paradise version of Earth. 
Hell, I would’ve loved a couple of episodes focusing on Pink Diamond slowly discovering the Earth and humans, watching them interact and deciding she likes them because they can evolve and change, unlike gems. Then, naturally, she would’ve wanted to take one or two for herself, to keep them closer to her, as she was not really allowed to be on Earth in the first place. So she asked Yellow and Blue to make the Zoo for her which they did. Maybe afterwards, after wandering on Earth some more she finds out how gems are made and how their creation strips the Earth of its life and then decides to fight for Earth. It would’ve made so much more sense. Instead of showing her see ONE human and deciding: OMG I need to save this planet. It felt lazy. 
SU has a really interesting story and some really interesting characters and I really wish they did what Adventure Time did and just dedicate a couple of episodes to certain characters to develop them better. And with SU’s narrative it would’ve fitted nicely. 
Second: Her weird characterisation.
Anyway, after ”A single pale rose” we found out the zoo was not hers at all and she had nothing to do with it. Gah! In the same episode we also find out she was always, more or less, a sweet, naive diamond which really does not go well with her debut when we saw she was incredibly spoiled and entitled. Ok, one can make the argument that she was younger, and when we saw her in ”A single pale rose” she already got her colony and already got bored of it and realized what a chore it was to be a diamond.
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The problem with that is NO ONE WANTED TO SEE THE END RESULT. 
Let me offer an example: 
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Zuko! 
Zuko started out as the villain of the series. He was set in his views, he wanted the Avatar so he could go back home. Still, during Book 1 and Book 2 he went through a change. He had an inner battle with himself trying to decide which path to take and what his morality was in the end. Only in book 3 does he realize exactly where he stands, what he feels and what he has to do and during the second half of it he joins the protagonists and truly embraces his change of heart. 
Now, imagine we were never shown Book 2 and we went from angry, bitter, entitled Zuko, who felt everyone was beneath him, up until a point when Iroh taught him humility, to the Zuko we had in the second half of Book 3 where he suddenly was on the good side and was nice and mostly pleasant. It would’ve sucked, right? We wouldn’t have seen the wonderful development he went through to get to that crucial point in his life.
Same with PD
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When we first saw PD all she wanted was to be considered as one of the diamonds and be given the same respect as them. She wanted a colony. She was bratty she was spoiled. In the same vein Zuko wanted nothing more than to be back home, to be accepted back in the royal family and treated with the same respect as the other members. Except, unlike Zuko, we didn’t see PInk’s journey into becoming who she was. Hell, we’re not even sure we know who she was because as soon as we were told she had flaws, they were taken back and we were given the PD we know now. 
All we saw was: PD wanting a colony and saying she is a diamond too and therefore should be treated as such - time skip - PD got her wish but got bored of it and because of said boredom she went out on the planet and discovered it had life, saw a human and decided she wanted to save it. To save it so she can live on it. But we’ll talk about that in a minute. 
For some that would be pretty clear. Yeah she got bored of her colony. that’s it. 
Yeah but, wouldn’t it have been more interesting to have some episodes gradually showing PD going from bratty and entitled to sweet and nice? To see her gradually lose interest in the colony, to see her observe what having a colony meant? To see her be neglected by the other diamonds, as it was implied was the case? 
I don’t know. For me the PD from Jungle moon and the PD from A single pale rose seem like entirely different characters. 
I’m sure the episodes were thought out long before they actually got feedback from us. But my bet is that between Jungle Moon and A single pale rose someone decided that the first PD was not what they wanted PD to be so they made the change. 
The war!
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People are really torn when it comes to the gem war. 
I for one think that the creators wanted to have their cake and eat it too. What do I mean by that?
Pink Diamond chose to fight for the Earth because she saw what gem production was doing to the planet. It is assumed that while going out with Pearl and seeing Earth she observed how life was being affected by the collonisaton. 
This is what PD says in ”A single pale rose”: We can leave our old lives behind. If this is really my world, I want to give it to the Crystal Gems. I want to live here with human beings! I wanna live here with you! We'll both finally be free! 
This means that she wanted to free Earth more for the sake of her being able to be free on it, than because its life was affected. She wanted to be free of her duties as a diamond, she wanted to be free and live with humans and with Pearl. 
Ok, after she met Garnet we were told she started to fight for other gems, but I don’t think that was entirely right. If she did want to fight for all gems she would’ve tried to liberate all the gems from under the diamonds, but she made sure not to harm the other diamonds (Bismuth, wink-wink). So she just wanted the safe route out. 
That’s what I meant by the creators wanted their cake and to eat it too. They should’ve picked one or the other, because, as it is, PD comes off more as somebody who wanted to get out of her duties and just found the perfect excuse to do so. Im sure she cared for life on Earth but I am more sure she cared more for her own freedom. 
This is why PD’s characterisation suffers a lot. That’s why people argue over it. Because these two beliefs cannot be reconciled. 
I would’ve rather seen a PD who, while having her colony, saw, gradually, how her own colony affecter life on Earth. Maybe Pearl took her on the planet, multiple times, to see the damage. Maybe, one day, she’d ask Pearl what was going to happen to the planet after she was done colonising and Pearl would show her the plans and she’d be horrified. A lot of maybes.
But instead, even in her last moments as PD she didn’t say: ”Pearl, I want to save this planet. Look at it, I am destroying it and pretty soon nothing will be left if I don’t act.” Instead she once again reaffirmed her desire to be free of being a diamond. 
In my eyes she is sort of an anti-hero. I am sure she had the best intentions but they were selfish intensions first and the noble ones afterwards. At least that’s what her characterisation is telling me. 
And it is sad. The show is going to incredible lengths to sanitise her, as if she was just naive and misunderstood. Yes she was naive but she was also misguided, selfish and immature and until she met Greg she lacked empathy, for humans anyway. 
And another thing: The show also went to great lengths to show us how gems are under a dictatorship, how there’s a caste system in place, how fusion means a death sentence etc. Yet, PD never talked about it. Rose never talked about it. Rose never meant a point to fight back against that system. Ok, one can make the argument that as PD she had no idea. Ok, cool, but as Rose I’m pretty sure she found out. And even as PD she had to know, to some degree how other gems were treated. She at least knew fusion was unheard of and by extension punished, so she must have known how gems were treated under the diamonds. 
Bismuth was the only one who saw that and who wanted to take action against it. Pearl knew, heck, she was a slave by Homeworld’s views, and did not express a desire to save other gems from such a fate. Garnet knew and didn’t care even though Ruby almost got shattered because of that same system. And when Bismuth expressed the desire to free the other gems Rose bubbled her because of course she did she couldn’t have allowed the shattering of her dictator sisters. 
And I hear some of you say: yeah but they are her sisters and her family. Yeah, cool but, and I go back to Zuko, when Aang was to face the FireLord, Zuko did not kill Aang or trap him somewhere so he couldn’t fight the Firelord because the villain happened to be his father. 
In the episode ”Sozin’s Comet, Part 1: The Phoenix King” Zuko says this to Aang: 
”You'll have to take the Fire Lord's life before he takes yours.” And this ”Well, that sweet little kid grew up to be a monster, and the worst father in the history of fathers.” 
See? Zuko acknowledges that Aang has to kill his father for the greater good, to liberate the fire nation people, to save the world. AND he also acknowledges that Ozai is a terrible person. 
This is how the Bismuth-Rose should’ve went if Rose gave two shits about the homeworld gems. 
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Some say SU is a kids show and can’t portray such things but iIT CHOSE TO TALK ABOUT WAR AND GENOCIDE AND LIFE LOSS - and as such, exactly like ATLA earned itself the right to go into more serious topics, despite being a show mainly aimed at kids. 
If you talk about war and all that implies then have the balls to do it right and tackle all the issues. 
All in all I think PD was a missed opportunity to have a great character ark for someone considered to be part of the villains but the reforming and taking the side of good and going against the system she was a part of. Exactly like Zuko. 
I am really interested to see what will happen next but I suspect that as far as PD is concerned her character ark is pretty much over for now. There’s nowhere to go. 
In the end she was just a selfish person who wanted to escape her life and duties because she found them boring and in doing so she found a really good reason for it: The colony was hurting the life on Earth. So she took that to heart and saw it as the perfect opportunity. 
Let’s not forget that because of her we have gem experiments, the Cluster, corrupted gems etc. She couldn’t have known some of these would happen but she was a diamond so at least she could’ve known that the Diamonds have the ability to fuck shit up should they chose to. 
Feel free to leave comments and discuss. 
As always this is just my opinion and is not written in stone. 
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themagiciansreccenter · 6 years ago
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Author Spotlight @echomoon
Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.
First things first, tell us a little about yourself.
what up im jared, im 19 and i never learned how to fuckign read. JK my name is Theo and I super know how to read. Most of the time. Also I’m 22. Anyway I’m one of the more OG members of the Magicians fandom, having been here since back in the early days of early s1. Uhhh I’m nonbinary and hella queer. Metafic is my most favorite thing in the world other than puppies. I cry at least once a day. I have adhd and depression and chronic pain and hella other issues. I’m an anthropology major, in my third year. I’m a slytherin, an illusions discipline, and a pisces.
How long have you been writing for?
Since I learned how, basically, but I only really started posting things online because of the Magicians and also because of Twilight?
What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?
It’s the BEST and I find it very easy to write from Quentin’s pov which means I actually finish things sometimes lol.
Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?
Quentin, because he is essentially me if I was born as a cisdude except more repressed in terms of sexuality and also more wealthy, which makes him super easy to write and super easy to get ideas about. I also like Penny, because for some reason people think I’m good at writing him?
Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?
I write a lot set in the Brakebills years because I like the whole magic school thing and the exploration of magic and interpersonal relationships without having to deal with the Beast or other threats trying to destroy everything they know and love? Like I like that slow burn, spread out, things are happening but they’re happening slowly and also heres some meta about magic kind of exploration that that time gives me the opportunity to do. I think this is partially influenced by that the first book has them in that setting so much longer, and partially because I’m still doing the whole college thing myself and find that easiest to relate to (because no one really wants to read ‘Quentin working two part time jobs and struggling to survive and nothing else happens’ unless it’s just a tiny segment of the fic lmao).
Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?
Well, in regards to Magicians fic, I’m still trudging along on chapter two of Magician’s Path - I’m trying to introduce more of Julia’s side of the story as well as working on how to warp the two canons into each other while also making the storyline unique - and also on the next part of crazy/classic/life, my paradise kiss and magicians crossover au. I’m also trying to find the time to record more podfic of my fics, because I think its important to have audiofic available. But nothing new, just continuations.
As for other fandoms, I’m working on a HELLA long reworking of the Descendants universe (hi i love disney channel movies dont judge), and that’s my primary focus right now in terms of fic.
How long is your “to do list”?
Very
What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?
Oh heck, um… probably either all tied up or The Magician’s Path. all tied up was my first time writing PiV smut and also writing shadeless!Julia and I’m just really proud of it? And TMP is like, my baby, my huge multichapter canon reworking that I’m putting so much planning into and I’m always so excited to talk about it. I know it doesn’t seem like much yet but y’all I have so many plans for it and I hope you end up loving it as much as I do.
Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?
TMP for sure - I hope that when I’m done more people give it a try.
What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?
Ha my writing process is either ‘has no ideas for months straight and then suddenly idea when I’m supposed to be doing something else but I gotta write this down!!!’ or ‘one sentence every month at most’. Now that the FTB server has gotten bigger, I’ve found some people who will proofread for me, so there’s that editing process afterwards (thanks @oneeyeddestroyer for being the best beta).
I guess my only superstition is that if I’m doing a multichapter or big work I try not to give too much detail out when I talk about it because I get worried that saying about the plot too much will make me lose interest in it.
Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?
I do tend to write more when the show is airing, because more people are engaged and it’s something to fill the void between episodes - during hiatus I tend to drift away a bit and focus on other fandoms. This is the first show thats been so all consuming for me, I don’t usually watch things while they air because I tend to forget about remembering to watch them after a week or so? But Magicians keeps pulling me back and keeping me in.
As for ongoing canon developments, it really depends on the thing. If it fits into my plot of it’s a detail I want to put in, I might, but otherwise I’m comfortable lifting what I want from canon and throwing the rest out for a fic - we follow a show with canon multiverses, we can do what we want lmao.
What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?
Honestly, most of my fics? Because I try to improve every time I write and like, explore new things. So whatever I’m working on at the time is the most challenging.
Are there any themes or tropes that you particularly like to explore in your writing?
EVERYONE BEING HAPPY AND NOTHING BAD HAPPENING EVER cough cough I mean, um. I like meta, I like worldbuilding and exploring meta and seeing what I can change. I keep accidentally writing soulmate fics? So that’s a trend I guess.
Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?
Oh heck, so many dude, I don’t even know, I’m gonna just link you to my bookmarks because that’s the fic I love and probably unconsciously imitate on the often
As for nonfic, like I def want to write like Marisha Pessl or Tamora Pierce or Donna Tartt or Lev Grossman or Mark Z Danielewski but more in his house of leaves phase than his current stuff tbh or Neil Gaiman and also like. Everything that you read or watch or experience makes up how you see the world and how you create what you create and I consume so much stuff I can’t even begin to guess my influences beyond the little tidbits that I keep in my bookmarks or on my shelves.
What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?
Currently I’m reading a lot of harry potter fic - the mood is the department of mysteries or other exploration of magic, so things related to that. HP fic is my go to when I’m not revving for any fandom in particular. Nonfic, I’m working my way through Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, which is hella fucking good, as well as a bajillion textbooks.
What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?
Fuck canon do what you want
Cringe time:
Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?
Yes but now that you ask can I remember any? Nope.
What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?
Oh shit dude I don’t even know. The earliest one I can remember was this like, post twilight self insert fic where the cullens came to my middle school for some reason? I barely finished the intro of it iirc but it might still be in my stack of papers in my old room somewhere.
Rapid Fire Round:
Self-edit or Beta? Beta (always get a beta kids! They’re worth their weight in gold)
Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes? Comments!! (please, leave me comments, i live for them)
Smut, Fluff or Angst? fluff
Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn? Slow burn
Favourite season? All?????? Dont make me choose
Favourite episode? Im stuck between life in a day or all that josh
Favourite book(The Magicians books)? Probably book 2, i love seeing julia’s side of things and exploring hedge magic
Three favourite words? BUTTS, lore, hearth
Want to be interviewed for our author spotlight? Get in touch here.
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